Revolution of Love.com Blog

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I've got a lot to do today so I'll just take a few minutes to make my Quick Takes this week. I have errands and house cleaning to do since I have company coming over next week. Two of my sisters will be visiting from Southern California and I can't wait! I get a double treat since not only will be able to spend time with my sisters, they have also offered to babysit the kids, baby included, so Brian and I can go out. He has a special treat planned for next Friday night and I can't wait!

I'm hoping the weather stays nice next week. It has been like spring! The other day was actually warm, so warm that I saw an old homeless guy on the street with his shirt off sunbathing next to his shopping cart. Not exactly a pretty picture but he seemed to be enjoying the California sun.

Tonight I'm going to a baby shower and I'm looking forward to seeing some of my Catholic mom friends. Sometimes I get so busy with life that the first thing to slip away is spending time with other moms. Yet, I truly need it. There is something about being able to talk to another mom face to face (not that I don't appreciate my online friends ;-) and being able to have an adult conversation or just joke around about the quirks of motherhood. I miss it and am glad to have it back.

This next Quick Take sort of morphed into its own post about miscarriage, suffering and finding joy so I'll just count the following as numbers 4-7.

It is the norm amongst (practicing) Catholic families to have a number of women pregnant at the same time. But lately, there seems to be a number of people I know dealing with the pain of miscarriage. For some, this is their second, even third. For others, this is their first. Brian and I lost two babies during the years between Bella and Andrew. Both happened early in the pregnancy but that didn't diminish the anguish it caused. That first miscarriage was honestly the most painful experience of my life. We had been dealing with infertility for awhile and were so excited when we finally conceived.

I remember how happy I was to buy a new pregnancy journal to record the next nine months of my pregnancy. I never thought I'd have to say good bye to my little one in that journal. Years ago I posted my pregnancy journal online on RoL, just as I had done with Bella's journal. I wanted to show that my little one was no less loved just because I never had the chance to hold him in my arms. How my heart goes out to these moms. I pray that Our Lord brings them peace, comfort and strength as Our Lady takes care of their babies until they can hold them one day in heaven.

Hearing about these miscarriages has also been a stark reminder to me of how blessed I am. This week has been a bit of a struggle for me. The kind of days when my facebook status should read - Although I love being a mother, today sucked. Of course, the problems aren't really major but lack of sleep and caring for sick ones can make the usual little problems seem magnified. However, when I hear about someone losing their baby (no matter how young) I can't help but get a swift kick in the rear and realize just how blessed I am. Suddenly things are put into perspective and things don't look as bad. It helps me find the joy in the chaos.

That reminds me of today's quote and prayer from Small Steps for Catholic Moms. The quote is from St. Francis de Sales. "To keep the soul continually in a state of gentle calm, it is necessary to perform every action as being done in the presence of God, and as if he himself ordained it." The prayer goes on to say, "God, sometimes it's so hard to let go of control! Help me to trust that you are in charge and to find the peace and joy that comes from accepting each moment for the gift it truly is."

Some days it is easy to refocus and reclaim your joy. Other days, especially when you are carrying a heavy cross, the struggles weigh you down and sometimes you just need some time before you can start to even grasp the thought of joy. God knows that and he gives us just what we need.

I can't help but think about my little Matthew as he is learning how to walk. I let him go and he toddles a bit and falls down. Then he gets back up and tries again. But at some point he is exhausted and can't try anymore. He sits on the ground crying with his hands raised up to me. I often think of us as babies and toddlers learning to walk. Like a loving father, God knows exactly when to let us try and walk on our own. And he knows when we are exhausted and can't go on, we just need to be picked up and carried in his arms.

So whether you are walking upright under the close eye of your Father or being held in his arms while you gather your strength, the point is that God is always there. Surrendering yourself and your situation to him doesn't mean that the pain will suddenly vanish, but slowly the healing will take place and we'll be given the grace and courage to walk once again.

(NOTE: I meant only to spend a few minutes doing this quick takes but it has been over an hour and Matthew has miraculously been asleep the whole time. I just now reread my journal and although I lost our first baby seven years ago, all the pain and grief has swept over me as if it were fresh and I'm just sobbing. I can barely type here. I need to stop for a moment...

I guess the pain never completely goes away. Maybe I needed to be reminded that my two little saints are up there looking out for me and praying for me. I've reposted my pregnancy journals for Bella and our miscarried Baby Victor Brian on the blog. Maybe reading it will help another mom know she's not alone in her grief and that there is hope in the end.)

Have a blessed weekend.

xoxo,
B

I have had a number of friends and acquaintances suffer miscarriages lately so I thought I'd post my pregnancy journal from our first miscarriage. Perhaps reading it will help another mom know that she is not alone in her pain and that there is hope in the end.

January 22, 2005

My dear little one,

Today is a blessed day for we first learned of your existence. This morning I suspected a small possibility that I could be pregnant. I had "suspected" it numerous times over the last year and every time I was wrong. I really did not think today would be any different. I took the pregnancy test then laid it down. I said a Hail Mary asking Our Lady to help me accept God's will. Then I casually glanced at the test truly believing it was just another negative answer. I did a double-take when I saw two lines showing that it was positive. I was shocked. I could not believe it. It couldn't be true! But suddenly everything started to make sense - I had gained a few pounds and I was feeling really run down and nauseated lately. All of this because you have started to grow in me. YOU - new life from God. Such a blessing after so much waiting!

Well, the next this to do was to tell your Daddy. I quickly showered then went into the family room to say good morning. (Thankfully it is Saturday so your Daddy is home.) After kissing him good morning I sat down to talk. I told him that I finally figured out why I gained a few pounds. He asked why and I pointed to my stomach saying, "There's a bambino growing in here!" "What!?" he exclaimed, "Are you sure? How do you know? Are you okay?" I assured him that it was true and that I was fine. He stood there a minute as the news seemed to finally sink in - we were having a baby. A huge grin swept over his face and he hugged me and held me close. I cried in his arms with tears of joy. I did not deserve to be so blessed by God.

We have been waiting many, many months for you to come, my little one. It has been our constant prayer. Even your sister Bella has been praying every morning that God would send us a little baby. And now He has. Blessed be God! I love you, my little one.

January 26, 2005

My dear little one,

I still cannot believe that God has blessed us with your presence. I took another pregnancy test this morning to make sure it was really true! And it is. My body is really starting to feel pregnant as well. I am feeling more queasy and I get a lot more tired, particularly by the end of the day.

On Monday I called the doctor and made an appointment for February 15. I can't wait until I get my first look at you and the doctor tells me you're okay. After the appointment we'll share the news with your Oma and Opa and your Grandma and Grandpa. Everyone is going to be so excited! I love you, my little one.

January 28, 2005

My dear little one,

Today I am up in the mountains at my yearly silent retreat. It is a beautiful time for me to be alone with Christ and deepen my love for Him. Although good, it is difficult being away from your Daddy and your sister Bella. I miss them very much. However, it has brought me comfort to know that I am not here alone - you are present with me here at this retreat. You are nestled safe inside me growing and getting stronger each day.

We have been waiting so long for you, my little one. I am so thankful to God for the miracle of your presence. You have brought us such joy, my little one. I love you very much. May God watch over you and keep you safe.

January 30, 2005

My dear little one,

My retreat ended today. There was a special closing Mass and I promised God to do my best to try and be a holy wife and mother. It has been a time of great grace for me. However, graces and blessings from God also mean a greater responsibility on my part to live out my vocation as a Christian. God has blessed me with so much, my little one, I pray I can serve Him with a humble and loving heart in return.

The whole time at Mass I kept thinking that you were there to share this moment with me. You would be bonded to me in a special way since this moment meant a lot to me. When I received Our Lord in the Holy Eucharist I knew you were receiving Him too. What a beautiful thought. May you always love and serve God with all your heart, my little one. Stay close to Him always. I love you.

February 1, 2005

My dear little one,

Today I shared the wonderful news with your aunt. We are going to visit your Grandma and Grandpa in a few weeks and we want to surprise them with the news of your arrival. They have been long praying for you, my little one, and they will be so excited. It is so hard to keep your presence to myself. I want to share the happy news with everyone but I think it best to wait just a bit longer. I love you, my little one.

February 2, 2005

My dear little one,
Today is the feast of the Presentation. This evening we all went to Mass and there was a special ceremony with prayers and lit candles to celebrate the day. I was so happy to be there together - the four of us. I cannot wait until the day when I can hold you in my arms and kiss your little cheeks. I love you, my little one.

February 4, 2005

My dear little one,

Today is the First Friday and as usual we met with a number of other moms and their kids to attend Mass and play in the park afterwards. Mrs. P was there with her little baby boy, our godson. Bella loves the little baby and always asks if she can hold him and kiss his little head. She is eager to be a big sister, my little one. Afterwards in the car I told her that we'd have a little baby of our own in a few months. She asked, "Can I keep the baby? Can I hold him?" I told her yes and she chatted away about having a little baby. We all love you, my little one.

February 7, 2005

My dear little one,

Today I had to call the doctor because there has been some slight spotting. I am very nervous because it is always in the back of my mind, "What if..." The doctor told me not to worry that it may be nothing. I did spot some when I was pregnant with Bella but this just seems different. But I'll put my trust in God and hope for the best. Blessed Mother, please give me strength to accept God's will and take care of our little baby. I love you, my little one.

February 8, 2005

My dear little one,

Today has been such a difficult day. I cannot stop crying at the thought that I may be losing you. I am only seven weeks pregnant and I have only known you a few of those weeks but my heart is already so attached to you, my little one. I took Bella to Opa's house because I was not feeling well at all. Late this afternoon I kept crying and I had to finally stop and kneel before God. I opened up my Bible and read from a page at random. It was Isaiah 49: 13 - 15.

Sing for joy, O heavens, and exalt O earth;
Break forth, O mountains, into singing!
For the Lord has comforted his people, and will have compassion on his afflicted.
But Zion said, "The Lord has forsaken me, my Lord has forgotten me."
"Can a woman forget her suckling child, that she should have no compassion on the son in her womb?"
Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

From the window the sun was close to setting and the rays were shining on my tears. My heart was filled with peace and I was finally able to stop crying. I know that you will be okay, my little one. I know that God will get both of us through this. Even if God is to call you back to Himself, I know he will give me the strength to handle it. My heart breaks at the thought but I pray above all else that God's love will see us though. I love you, my little one. And I love you, my Lord. Thank you for your mercy.

February 9, 2005

Today is the first day of Lent and what I am offering up to God right now is my aching heart. This "not knowing" is killing me. A few hours will pass when everything looks okay and I am hopeful that you are alright. Then things will look bleak once again. Unless there is a major change I will just have to wait it out until our first prenatal appointment on Tuesday but that is six days away!

My little one, the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes is coming up on Friday. It has always been a special day to me because many years ago Our Lady helped me to turn my life around on that day. She has been very instrumental in my conversion. I have pleaded with Our Lady that she give us an answer by her feast day. If you are to stay with us then may all this spotting cease and everything be okay. If God is calling you home, then may she take you personally to Him and give us the grace to endure it. I am confident that Our Lady will answer us, my little one. She has always been so good to us. May her mantle be around us all. I love you.

February 10, 2005

My dear little one,

Lent has just begun yet it will be one that I will never forget for Christ has asked us to not only carry the cross but to nail ourselves to it with Him. I feel at one with Our Blessed Mother who had to watch her Son slowly die before her eyes.

This morning when I woke up and there was no doubt in my mind that we were losing you. The spotting has now become bleeding. I see no hope, my little one. Your Daddy stayed home with me today and I am so thankful for I couldn't get through this without him. Although he is taking this hard for he loves you so much, he has been a great strength to me. Together we had been praying that you would be spared but through it all your Daddy has been reminding me that we must trust in God. I called the doctor, my little one, and he will see me this afternoon. Then we will know for sure.

I have been thinking about something, my little one and while it is best to tell your Oma and Opi after the fact, I will have to tell your Grandma and Grandpa about this right away. Being my own mama, Grandma will want to pray for me and share this heartache with me. She will be heartbroken, my little one. I pray God gives her strength. There are also a number of close friends who are praying for us. It is only a matter of time, my love.

LATER...

My dear little one,

We went to the doctors this afternoon and he confirmed our fears. I didn't cry when he told us because I knew it was happening but the look on your Daddy's face (he was in there with me) is one I'll never forget. I think he was holding out for a miracle but it was not to be this time.

Later when we arrived home, my love, your little body left mine. I am just numb. I don't think I have any tears left to cry at this point - at least not until my body replenishes them. My emotions are so mixed. I am thankful to Our Lady for answering my prayer. I know she is now holding you in her arms and caring for you. You could not ask for anything better.

But pray for me, my little one. I ache for you. I feel so empty without you here with us. Right now I just want to be alone with your Daddy and Bella. I can't answer the phone or call anyone or I will lose it. Give me strength, my dear Lord. I do thank God for all the countless people praying for us. I can feel God's grace holding us up. Blessed be God in his mercy, even in times of sorrow.

LATER

My dear little one,

I had to call your grandma before the night was over. I needed to hear her voice and I knew she wanted to hear mine. Grandma knows just what I am feeling now because she lost three of her own babies before they were born. It was a comfort to talk to her and I was able to do so without breaking down. God's grace is strong, my little one. Grandma and your Aunt B offered to drive up here to be with us and help out however they can. I truly appreciated the offer but I think right now it is best for me, Daddy and Bella to spend this time alone to comfort one another. However, we will carry on with our plan to visit G&G and the family in a week. In the meantime our spirits will be united in prayer as we turn to Our Lord and Lady. Thank you, my heavenly Father.

February 11, 2005 - Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes

My dear little one,

I guess there is really no need to write in my journal to you anymore but it is helpful to me to express myself, even if this will never be given to you. But from where you are, you will understand what I am saying anyway.

Your Daddy talked to Oma and Opa and told them what happened. They were very sad, my little one. I will talk to them in a day or two. Right now I cannot talk to anyone. We have been receiving a number of phone calls and messages and people are wondering if we're okay because they haven't heard from us. I finally wrote up a letter to email to everyone explaining what happened. Here is what it said:

Dear Friends,

As many of you know, we have been praying for a long time that God would bless us with another child. Our prayers were finally answered and a new life was granted to our family. For a number of weeks we overjoyed with the prospect of a new baby.

However, this past week we suspected that God may be calling our baby to Himself. Yesterday, it was finalized. Our baby left my body and is now with God in heaven. It has been an unbelievably difficult time, particularly since Tuesday was to be our first prenatal appointment and followed by our plans to surprise the perspective grandparents with the news.

Although our hearts are heavy with grief, I must say that this burden has been incredibly lighter through your prayers and the grace of God. I would often read of saints or holy people speak of suffering as a great blessing but I could not understand how such a thing could be possible. I am far from holy but I think I have gotten a tiny taste of what that means.

The other night I could not sleep and I lay in bed thinking and praying. I pondered over my life and how many graces and blessing God has poured out on me. I thought of trials I have endured in the past and during those times I often thought of Jesus in the Garden asking, "Lord, if it be your will let this cup pass over me." I, too, prayed that I would be spared. More often than not, I was spared. I felt like Abraham ready of sacrifice his Isaac but at the last minute it was always revealed that the mere offering was enough. I need not actually make the sacrifice. Yesterday, however, God asked for sacrifice of our child to become a reality.

Perhaps I should be angry with God, at least temporarily, but I am not. God has been so good to me. I have been granted tremendous mercy and numerous graces in my life. And now God has finally given me the chance to truly make an offering of love to Him. Placing our child back into God's hands is my way of being able to show God that I appreciate all his blessings and I trust in his goodness in both the good and sorrowful times.

But before you even think of making any comments on my "strength" know that it is not me. Left to my own devices I'd be a wailing drama queen. (As those who know me well could attest.) I know firmly within my heart that it is the grace of God, particularly those received through your prayers. And I must say that Brian has been a pillar of strength and trust in God, even through his own grief and pain. Even little Bella, not quite understanding what's going on, will place her little arms around my neck, kissing me telling me, "It's okay, Mama." God is present and comforting me everywhere I turn.

I also can't help but remember that in the end, our children are not our own. They are given to us with the responsibility that we raise them as holy children as best we can so that one day they may be united with God in heaven. Now we know that we have at least one little saint in heaven who is praying and waiting for us to join him in heaven. That is a great blessing. There will always be an emptiness on our hearts that misses our little baby and we still have a great deal of sorrow but at the same time there is also a great deal of peace. Our Lady, on this beautiful feast day, has wrapped her mantle around us and has given us great comfort and strength.

We thank you once again for your prayers, concern and offerings of help (from bringing food to babysitting Bella.) It has touched us that so many people have us in their hearts. Please forgive us for not answering our phone right now or calling you back yet. We think it best that the three of us spend the next couple of days comforting one another and celebrating the blessing we have in each other. Emotions are still a little raw to talk on the phone. We will however, be available through email. (I have learned to weep and type quite well now.) We'll meet soon and share those hugs I know you are waiting to give. Our love and prayers go out to you as well. Thank you again.

With love and trust in Our Lord and Lady,
Bobbi & Brian (& Bella)

"We know that in everything God works for good with those who love Him who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

My little one, afterwards we received many beautiful messages of condolences and one family actually sent us flowers for you. It may seem odd to the secular world that we are mourning you or that others are acknowledging that mourning. They may argue that you were only a few weeks old or that it would be different had you actually been born then died, but that is besides the point. You were a miracle of life at the moment of your conception. You will always be a part of our family and we look forward to the day when we can see you in person and hold you in our arms. Good bye, my little one, I love you.

POSTSCRIPT:

Spring 2005

The weeks following were difficult, especially on the day I was to have my first prenatal. On the outside I seemed okay but on the inside I was mad at everyone. Thankfully, those feelings never lasted long and were never aimed at God. My heart still aches at times and I couldn't stop the tears as I was typing what was in my journal but God has been good to us. The days of and following the miscarriage were cold and rainy outside. It seemed appropriate weather but rain has always been symbolic to me of God's grace. And it was surely pouring down on us during this entire time.

I cherish those few weeks that I spent with our little son. From the moment I learned I was pregnant I felt strongly that it was a little boy (Brian did too.) I had already been calling him a junior - "Baby Brian" - in my mind. Brian, however, liked the name "Victor" which is his middle name (and a name with a history in his family.) So we compromised and named our little angel Victor Brian.

I still miss my little one but I am at peace and thankful for the grace God gave me to endure it. There is always a reason for why things happen and only God knows the full picture. I trust Him completely that this sorrowful event has a meaning and purpose in God's divine providence. And even though a few tears may escape me now and then, I am happy to know my little one is in the hands of Our Lady, praying for the day when he is joined by his daddy, mama, sister Bella and any other siblings that may follow. Blessed be God now and forever.

January 2012

It's been nearly seven years since I went through this and as I reread this now, all the pain and grief has swept over me as if it were fresh and I'm just sobbing. I thought I was long past feeling that deep hurt but I guess the pain never completely goes away. We did suffer a second miscarriage the following year - a baby we named Joseph. Our two babies are in heaven now and we ask them to pray for their mom, dad and four other siblings so that one day we all can join them in our eternal home.

This was originally posted at RoL but I reposted it on the blog for anyone who was interested.

February 14, 2001

It is Valentine's morning and I still can't believe it. I suspected that our dream was finally coming true so I took a pregnancy test. I followed the procedure then closed my eyes while I waited for the results. I prayed three Hail Marys that I would accept God's will graciously. After the last prayer I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the test... there it was! How many times have I seen that awful negative result but this time it was positive. There is a little one growing inside me!

Brian was in the kitchen so I went in there and asked him to close his eyes and hold out his hands to receive a Valentine's gift I wanted to give him. He did so and I then placed his hands on my stomach and told him to open his eyes. With a puzzled look he said, "What?" I said, "Guess!" His eyes grew wide and with astonishment he exclaimed, "You're pregnant?! Are you sure?" I convinced him that it was true and we just hugged each other and cried. There are no words to describe our joy and gratitude to God for answering our prayers. I'm still in shock...but I will never forget the moment I learned of the existence of my little one. Blessed be God!

February 15, 2001

My dear little one, I am still walking around in a daze. I cannot believe that you are in me! Yesterday I went to the store to buy a few small baby things as a gift for your grandparents. It will be part of how I tell them the news. I also bought a little heart frame to place your first little picture in since you were conceived in love and discovered on a day celebrating love. How I thank God for your existence! It seems almost too good to be true but it IS true. I have been feeling very tired but that is normal since my body is working extra hard to help you grow. I pray God keeps you safe, my little one.

February 17, 2001

My dear little one, we are on our trip to So CA so your daddy and I took the opportunity to tell your Grandma and Grandpa C. and all your new aunts and uncles the wonderful news since it will be awhile until we visit them again. In the afternoon when everyone was here we gave G & G two gifts to open. Your grandpa opened the first box, which contained some treats for the kids. Your grandma was to open the second one (which contained a tiny toy baby doll crib, a stuffed animal puppy, rattle, baby blanket and some board books. There was a little card inside that read " Grandma's and Grandpa's box of toys for their first grandchild".) Grandma opened the box and lifted off the lid. She looked inside and then had a look of shock on her face. She closed her eyes and laid her head on the box. Then she began to cry and hugged me. Your aunts and uncles didn't get it until they too looked in the box and saw G & G crying and hugging me and your daddy. Soon everyone was laughing and cheering. They are all so happy, my little one. They, too, have been waiting for you. They love you and are praying for you. Thank you, my dear Lord and Lady!

February 18, 2001

My dear little one, today dad and I went to Sunday Mass with the family. It was beautiful to kneel there before God knowing that the blessing of new life is in me. I prayed for you and for your health and safety. I worry, my little one, that perhaps God will call you to Him before you are born. I will always love you whether you live 8 weeks in me or 88 years outside of me... but I pray God will allow us to raise you and enjoy your presence for years to come. My heart is always with you, my little one, no matter what happens. Your daddy knows just the right words to comfort me and encourage me to trust God and his goodness.

February 20, 2001

My dear little one, today I called the doctor's office and made an appointment for March 5 at 6pm. It seems like a long way off but that is his usual amount of time to wait. I am a little nervous. All this is so new to me! There are times when I still cannot believe it.

I have been reading my baby books and keeping track of your growth and development. It is amazing just how small you begin at, little one. You are just about the size of period at the end of this sentence. Then slowly you grow larger and larger. It is a wonderful miracle how God is forming you. Be always united with your Creator, my little one. You shall be a joy and comfort to Him! Amen!

February 25, 2001

My dear little one, today we went out to dinner with your Grandma and Grandpa S. We have not yet told them about you. Your Grandma will be very worried until I see the doctor so we will wait until after my appointment, then we will tell them the joyful news! It is hard to keep quiet since I want to shout it from the housetops but I must be patient and wait for God's time.

I have been very tired and a little ill. I haven't had morning sickness other than a little queasiness. I hope that's okay! Your daddy has been taking such good care of me. He has so much love for us, my little one. Wait until you see what a good and holy man he is!

February 28, 2001

My dear little one, today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. I will work hard at overcoming my faults and building virtue so that I may truly be a woman of God. In doing such, I will be a better wife to your father and a better mother to you. God has granted me the blessing of motherhood but with it comes great responsibility and sacrifice. God has slowly been preparing my heart for this moment and now that the time has come I accept this task of love.

Yesterday you turned five weeks old, my little one. Stay strong and healthy. May God protect you always.

March 4, 2001

My dear little one, each day that passes unites my heart even closer to you. I have been having much fear and anxiety about having a miscarriage. I want you so badly, my little one, and I fear this is just too good to be true. At Mass this morning, though, the reading and psalms and songs were about not fearing, turning to God, and trusting that He will watch over us. I must believe that. I must trust in God's Providence, whatever the outcome may be. I pray that Our Lady gives me strength. I will be strong and not worry so much, my little one. I do not want you to sense any of my fears as you are growing in me. How I love you, my little one.

March 5, 2001

My dear little one, today was our first prenatal appointment. I was so nervous and scared! Your Daddy got permission to leave work early so he could be with me. He was such a comfort to me! When I first arrived the nurse took my blood pressure and she said I must be nervous because it was high. She said she's take it again afterwards. The doctor talked to daddy and me and then he examined me. We saw the sonogram for the very first time and there you were so tiny (only 1/2 inch tall) on the screen. The machine said I was only five weeks pregnant but I knew I was just entering my eighth week. The doctor said my uterus agreed with me. He asked me to come back in three weeks to take the ultrasound again then he'll give us a more definite due date. But that didn't matter to me since after the exam and seeing you on the screen and hearing that we were both fine, I was so overjoyed! The nurse took my blood pressure again and the numbers were great. That's because I was so relieved and happy! I cannot tell you how happy I am! And your daddy... he is beaming with joy to see your tiny little body growing in me. We couldn't be more pleased or excited! I feel like now I can relax a little more and not worry so much. I need to feel good for you now, my little one.

Tomorrow we will be sharing the news with Oma and Opa. It will be exciting! But I am very, very tired so I will stop writing. I love you, my little one. Have a restful night.

March 7, 2001

My dear little one, I have found great comfort writing to you and getting to know you while you are still growing in me. Right now I am sitting in the chapel before Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. I pray that your little heart is already beating for His love above all else. It is the love of God that has allowed the miracle of your existence. Never stray from that love...life is meaningless without it.

Last night we went to your Oma and Opa's house to tell them the news. We also gave them a little gift box of baby things. They were speechless and overjoyed! Already they are planning to buy a little crib and make one of their rooms into a nursery to babysit you, my little one. They called your other grandparents and together they laughed and cried with joy. They are all so pleased.

Now today I will tell my friends at work. I am excited yet it is still a little hard to believe. God is so good and gracious. I am struck by his gentle yet mighty power...a power that allows a lowly person like me to have the privilege of carrying a new life in me. Now we will be a reflection of the Holy Trinity. Father & Mother together in their love bring forth you, my little one. It is amazing. Blessed be God in his goodness now and forever!

(Later in the evening.) Well, I shared the wonderful news at work and everyone was incredibly excited and happy for me. It is funny how a new baby - or the news of a new baby- affects people. Deep down people are drawn to the beauty of an innocent and pure new life. It somehow brings us closer to God, the Creator of that life. Blessed be God.

March 8, 2001

My dear little one, the last 24 hours have been some of the most horrid hours of my life. Last night I began to bleed. Daddy and I could not believe it. It was late and I was to see the doctor in the morning. As I lay in bed in your Daddy's arms I realized that God might be taking you away from us. I began to cry and then to sob with such sorrow and heaviness of heart, like I've never felt before. Your Daddy held me and sobbed with me. Sorrow gnawed at me all night as I pleaded with God to have mercy on us and to spare our child. Lastly, though, above all else I asked for the grace to accept God's will, whatever it was.

The next morning my eyes were so swollen I could barely open them. Your Daddy held onto me all night and in the morning there were still tears in his eyes. He loves you deeply as well, my little one. I went to the bathroom to check things out and I had stopped bleeding. Later the doctor told me not to worry and that everything was fine with me and with you, my little one. I was incredibly relieved to hear that. Then when I found out you were okay I was crying with happiness.

Ugh! I feel like an emotional basket case! But more than anything I am so grateful that God has spared you - at least for the time being. I still feel emotionally fragile but God will get me through. Blessed be God. Thank you, my Lord and lady and all the angels and saints!

March 13, 2001

My dear little one, it has been a very pleasant weekend - your Aunt B. & Aunt J. have been here for a visit. It was wonderful to see them again. They are so pleased and excited about you.

Last night, however, I was having a rough time again. The fear from the previous night keeps returning to me. I just lay in bed and cried. I am afraid to be happy about the pregnancy because something could go wrong any minute. It is wrong to think that way but how do I stop it? I pray that Our Blessed Lord helps me and brings peace to my heart. Please intercede for me, my dear lady. I need you I love you, my little one. Pray for your Mama.

March 16, 2001

My dear little one, it is a beautiful morning out today. The sun is shining and the sky is blue. It will be a lovely day. I am in the Adoration Chapel right now. I have been praying to Our Lord but I am feeling tired and sleepy so I began to write to keep me awake! Your Daddy is kneeling next to me and is deep in prayer. He is such a good and holy man, my little one. I pray that you will have a strong and spiritual heart for God, as your Daddy does.

I talked to my mom, your Grandma C, the other day about my fear of losing you. She said that it is natural to feel that way. But she reminded me that I need to concentrate on enjoying your presence in me every day. She said that whether God takes you away tomorrow, in a few months or in 75 years, I will always be your Mama. She said I must enjoy and cherish every moment with you and not allow worries or fears distract from this special time. Something of what she said clicked in me and made sense. I love you, my little one, and I want to cherish every moment with you. Blessed be God in his goodness.

March 20, 2001

My dear little one, today you have turned eight weeks old and I am entering my 10th week of pregnancy. This is a special week for you, my child! You are a whopping 1 ½ inches! Perhaps that doesn't seem like much but it is when you consider that just two months ago you were the size of the period at the end of this sentence. You are becoming more and more real to me, my little one, and I can't wait until I can feel you move in me. May God protect you and strengthen you always. I love you.

March 25, 2001

My dear little one, it is Sunday evening and Daddy and I are just about to leave for Oma and Opa's house for dinner. They are getting more and more excited about you, little one. Oma is curious to know if you will have curly hair like your mommy.

Grandma & Grandpa and the family are also eager for your arrival. They sent you a gift last week. They gave you a little "Jubilee Year" bear and a wooden baby rosary and tiny baby nail clippers. I'm afraid you'll be showered with many gifts, little one. But remember, the gift of God's love is most precious! I love you.

March 26, 2001

My dear little one, today the Church celebrates the beautiful feast of the Annunciation (since the 25th was a Sunday this year). We honor our most Blessed Mother in a special way for her humble "fiat" - I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done to me according to your word. I give special thanks to Our Lady for her continued guidance and intercession. It was shortly after a special prayer made to Our Lady in Rome that we were finally able to conceive you, my little one. God is so good.

March 30, 2001

My dear little one, today is already Friday. This week has gone by so quickly! That means that you are almost another week older, little one. I went to the doctor's Monday evening and Dr. V took another ultrasound to check your size. We saw you on the screen with your heart beating strongly! It is still hard to believe that you are growing in me! I love you, my little one.

April 15, 2001

My dear little one, Happy Easter to you! Today is the beautiful feast of Our Lord's Resurrection. Daddy and I went to Mass this morning with you snug inside of me. It's funny because Daddy reminded me that by next Easter we will be attending Mass with you in our arms. What a wonderful thought...this is the last time we will attend Easter Mass alone. Next year you will be there too, my little one. I love you!

April 24, 2001

My dear little one, today Daddy and I went to the doctor's for another check up. We were so excited because we were able to hear you for the first time. Nurse C. had me lay down. Then she got ready to put the little machine on my stomach. She warned us that sometimes it is hard to hear anything or that it takes awhile to find the heartbeat. Well, she placed the machine on me and there you were loud and strong saying good morning with your powerful heartbeat! We're so excited and happy, our little one. We love you!

April 30, 2001

My dear little one, this weekend we have been visiting Grandma & Grandpa and all your aunts and uncles! Fr. M came visited us at the house and gave us a very special blessing. He prayed over me and said special prayers for me that I would be a holy mother to you. Then he prayed for you that you would be blessed and love the Lord always. I was very beautiful, my little one. Your Papa and I love you so much, we can't wait until we can hold you in our arms!

May 13, 2001

My dear little one, thanks to you, today I celebrated my first Mother's Day because you have made me a mama! Yesterday Daddy sent me flowers at work to congratulate me. They are very beautiful and very special because this is my first mother's day! When we went to Mass today a little girl was standing outside the door handing flowers to all the moms. Although I wasn't holding a baby she gave me one too. God knows that you're growing inside me and that I am your mama. How thankful I am! I love you, my little one.

July 6, 2001

My dear little one, this morning I was reading through the pages of my journal. It's amazing how quickly time is going! I am six months pregnant and you, my little one, have grown to eight inches long! Just think, in four short months I will be holding you in my arms! Right now I am in the Adoration Chapel on First Friday and in a few short months I will be here once again with you in my arms. Together we will be praying to Our Lord besides your Daddy. I've begun singing the Hail Mary and Gentle Woman to you in the morning. I want you to also have a great love for Our Lady. I love you, my little one.

July 16, 2001

My dear little one, this weekend your daddy and I stayed with your Grandma and Grandpa and the family. It has been a wonderful weekend and everyone was excited to see my growing belly with you inside! On Sunday you and I were given a baby shower by all our friends in So. Calif. It was so beautifully done! It looked like a wedding reception! We received so many generous gifts! Everyone is so happy for us and so eager to welcome you into the world, my little one. I love you very much.

July 25, 2001

My dear little one, I have special thanks to give to God for the other night was the first time I felt you kick my hand! I have felt you moving around in me for some time but this is the first I felt it so strong. And again last night as I was sitting on the couch you kicked the hand I had placed on my stomach. It was so wonderful and such a joyous feeling. Now I just need you to kick while Daddy's there so he can feel it too! I love you, my little one.

August 18, 2001

My dear little one, today your mommy is celebrating her birthday. I was thinking this morning that two years ago I celebrated my first birthday as an engaged woman. Then a year ago my first birthday as a married woman. This year? My first birthday as a mother carrying her child within her. I have sooo much to be thankful for - my life, God's love and mercy, my dear husband and his love, the fruit of that love - our little baby, my family...the list could go on forever. Thank you, my dear Lord, for all your goodness and kindness to me.

August 27, 2001

My dear little one, today we attended our third birthing class. We were given a tour of the birthing center where I will give birth to you, my little one. I feel much better getting used to the surrounding of the hospital; it makes me feel less nervous about what will take place during your birth! While we were there we saw in the nursery window a little baby that had just been born and was being checked by the nurse. It brought a tear to my eye to think that soon it will be you who is born into the world. How I can hardly wait to hold you, my little one! I love you!

September 3, 2001

My dear little one, I'm amazed at how active you have been in me. You don't kick as much as you used to but now it feels like you are doing somersaults. My stomach rolls and moves up and down as you move inside me. You are a strong one, my little one. I love you so much.

September 11, 2001

My dear little one, today has been a tragic day for our nation. There has been a terrorist attack in New York and many, many people lost their lives because of it. My heart is broken, my little one, and I cannot stop crying in grief for not only those who died but for all those that were left behind. I think of how much I love your Daddy and you, my little one, and how devastated I would be had something happened to either one of you. But I must put it form my mind right now. I must concentrate on the new life within me and not let my sadness effect you, my little one. I must see you as an answer of hope and joy to all the sorrow and pain our nation is feeling now. May God bless and strengthen us all.

September 28, 2001

My dear little one, I've been feeling better, trying to focus on you and your arrival. So many people have been so generous to you - we've already been to three baby showers and tomorrow is the last one at Oma's. Your Grandma & Grandpa C. and your Uncle Rob drove to Carmel to spend the weekend with me. I've been having a lot of Braxton Hick (the practice) contractions. They are coming more often but are too sporadic to worry about. Everyone says it is normal! I just hope they don't stay this strong until you're born! We still have almost a month to go. I can't believe that in a few short weeks I'll really be holding you! I can't wait! I love you, my little one!

September 29, 2001

My dear little one, I am in shock!! You surprised us all! This (Saturday) morning at 9:35am you entered the world!! My dear little one, I can now call you my sweet little Isabella Rose Marie...a little girl! I am so happy! You are so tiny but so beautiful! I can't believe it - it all went so quickly! Ha, and today is your baby shower! Well, now it's a birthday party! I am in shock! But I am oh so happy! I will give you all the details later, my little Isabella. I love you!

October 1, 2001

My sweet Isabella, today I am officially discharged from the hospital although I won't be leaving yet. The nurses are keeping me around as long as possible so I can spend my time with you in the nursery. I am still reeling over everything! Let me tell your birth story now while it is still fresh in my head.

On the Thursday before you were born I began noticing more practice contractions than usual. They continued into Friday but were brief and sporadic. I remember shopping at Costco and stopping for a moment to feel a contraction. But I continued my day and waited for your Grandma and Grandpa C. and Uncle R. to come. I was so happy when they arrived and chatted with them while I cooked dinner. At this point the contractions were getting stronger and my back was feeling it more but they were still sporadic so I thought nothing of them.

That evening after dinner we drove over to your Grandma & Grandpa to Oma & Opa's house where they would be staying for the weekend. Grandma S. showed me the rooms that had been decorated for the baby shower the next morning. Everything looked so pretty! However, the pains were getting stronger and I had to sit so I told daddy that I'd better go home and get some rest. I was very tired that night, although every once in awhile a contraction would wake me. I was a bit worried but since they weren't close enough to call the doctor (I thought) that I tried to sleep them off. By early morning the contractions were getting stronger and Daddy was getting worried and wanted to call the doctor. I agreed.

While your Daddy got out of bed, a big contraction hit me and my water broke. Now I was scared because I knew that meant that I was going into labor NOW. Daddy came over and comforted me and told me not to worry. He called the doctor while I went into the bathroom to get dressed. Your Uncle Rob, who was asleep in the front room, woke up and grabbed my bags and put them in the car. However, getting out the door was almost impossible because the contractions were very intense and coming every 2 - 3 minutes. When a contraction came I had to stop and hold onto something and breathe though it. I could feel you in me pressing down and then slightly rising back up once the contraction was over. I tried to quickly hobble out the door and down the apartment stairs before the next one came. I just barely made it!

Thankfully the hospital was only minutes away and I was there quickly. Uncle Rob and Daddy walked me to the birthing center section although I had to stop once on my way to get though another contraction. Daddy and Uncle Rob rubbed my back and told me that I was doing a good job. That gave me the strength to hurry to the admittance desk.

After a few minutes I was finally in my hospital gown lying down on the birthing bed. The nurse was trying to ask me questions but I had a hard time talking since I was breathing through a contraction. She then noticed that I was leaking a lot of water so she checked me to see how I was doing. She was surprised to find that I was already 10 cm dilated - but not as surprised as I was! She quickly called in Dr. V who checked me and said that you were ready to come out now. The nurses and the room had not been ready for this stage of birth so they ran around like crazy putting on their gowns, getting their tools and preparing the room.

I watched them all in shock - this was it. I was anticipating long hours of labor in a hospital using all the labor tools we packed in our bags and here I was, ready to push. My head was full of so many emotions and I would have been really scared if it hadn't been for your Daddy. He was so loving and supportive; his encouragement helped me to focus and stay calm.

Dr. V took care of the last minute details to get my body ready then he had me push down as hard as I could. I did 2 or 3 times before he announced that he could see the head. Daddy could see you coming out and he just kept saying, "ohmygosh, ohmygosh" then with one more strong push, out you came! Dr. V said, "It's a girl!" I couldn't believe it! I had just given birth to a baby girl! From the ultrasound we saw before you were born, the doctor guessed that you were a boy. We assumed we were having a boy, although whenever I prayed for you I automatically said "she" not "he". I guess my heart knew deep down that the little one inside me was my precious little daughter! I was so happy!

After the doctor cleaned your mouth out and heard you cry, they immediately checked you over at a little side table. Since you were born a month early you were still rather small weighing only 3 lb. 12 oz and 17" long. Although small, the doctor said you are healthy and feisty. (Daddy says that you're feisty because you're a warrior for Christ, born on the feast of the Archangels!) However, you had to be taken right away to the nursery to be placed in an incubator so you could be given the special care you needed.

Meanwhile Grandma & Grandpa, Uncle Rob and Opa were waiting outside for the great news. Although you arrived early it was a great blessing that you came while Grandma & Grandpa were in town! By the blessing of God I was able to have my mom and dad with me at this most special time of my life...the birth of my beautiful and precious girl, my little Isabella. I love you, my sweet little one!

The day of your birth, little one, filled everyone with excitement and joy. (I'm still in shock!) All your Grandparents were overjoyed and Uncle Rob called the family at home and they cheered and thanked God. Meanwhile Oma was greeting all the guests for the baby shower telling them that the "guest of honor" was detained and the party was now a birthday celebration! Haha!

After the birth I showered and cleaned up and was eager to hold you for the first time. You are so tiny, my little one, but already so beautiful! Although Daddy and I can't have you in the room with us I am able to nurse you and we are spending every minute we can with you while you get better in your incubator. I have asked Grandma C to stay with me this week while you are in the hospital. She was so pleased that I asked because she wants to be here with you and help us out so Daddy and I can spend as much time as we can with you. I will do all I can not to leave you, my little Isabella. I love you!

October 2, 2001

My dear little Isabella, this evening has been very difficult for me. It is so hard to see the other moms with their babies as they leave the hospital to go home. It deeply pains me that you must be separated from me. For eight months I carried you moving within me. Now I feel so alone and empty without you. I know you are only down the hall in the nursery with the nurses but I want you in my arms at home with your Daddy. I can't stop the tears...I pray God gives me strength to get through this.

October 6, 2001

My dear little Isabella, today you are 1 week old! Was it really just a week ago that you entered into the world? It seems so very long ago! You are still in the hospital but we are hopeful that next week you will be discharged. You are steadily gaining weight and breathing better. Keep it up, my little one, and then we'll be home soon!

October 10, 2001

My dear little one, the day you Daddy and I have been praying for is finally here! We have taken you from the hospital (where the nurses were wonderful!) and now we are home! Daddy took off the afternoon and met me at the hospital. We spent an hour trying to figure out your car seat but we finally did it! It felt funny not to wake up and see you in the hospital but rather to have in our little home. I am so happy! I must admit, though, that I am also scared - there are no more nurses around to keep an eye on me and see if I'm doing things okay. It's just me, you and Daddy, little one! Actually it was blessing in disguise that we had so much "practice time" in taking care of you in the hospital. I feel more comfortable now on my own.

It is so strange...sometimes I still can't believe that you are my little baby! It all seems so unreal. And sometimes I worry...will you love me and know that I am your mama? You spent so much time with the other nurses that I hope I am not just another nameless face to you that gives you food. I know it is silly but, my little Bella, just let me know that you love me and know that I am your mommy!

October 18, 2001

My dear little one, this week Daddy stayed home from work to be with you and help me. This is such a special time for us. I feel very close to Daddy and love him very much. It is so beautiful and miraculous that by the grace of God our love has created a new beautiful life - our little Bella, or as we affectionately call you "our little Peanut". How we love you!

October 28, 2001

My dear little Bella, today, the day before your one-month birthday, you have celebrated a very special day - your baptism! You are a child of God on the road to heaven! All your aunts and uncles and G&G C. are spending the weekend here. They are so happy and excited to see you for the first time/again! The ceremony itself was beautiful with Fr. E at the Carmel Mission. We have so much to be thankful for, my dear little one! All praise to Our God!

November 9, 2001

My sweet Bella, each day I am learning more and more about being a mom! I am still trying to get used to the breastfeeding and you prefer to sleep in my arms, which makes showering and cleaning a little difficult! You are pretty mellow in the day but in the evening you get cranky! You will cry and cry until I am crying! I am told it is normal for newborns so I guess you'll grow out of it eventually. I just want to keep you happy and content!

My favorite moments with you are at night when you sleep in my arms in our bed. Sometimes I will lie awake at night just to watch you sleep so peacefully in my arms. You're so tiny and so beautiful! I love you, my little peanut! Thank you, my dear Lord for the gift of motherhood! Amen.

Postscript

August 2002

It's been awhile since I've made long entries into my journal. There has been no time! Things have been hectic, especially with the recent move to our new home but it has been worth it. I love our little place and it will be much better for Bella to have a little more room to roam around. She is such a joy in our lives! She is loving & full of energy. Her inquisitiveness never ceases to amaze me (although Brian says she is just nosy like her mother!) and it troubles me that she will grow up thinking that her name is "No, Bella!" haha!

Ay, so much has happened over this last year and a half...some tears, a lot of laughs, and countless blessings. We' ve started a whole new chapter of our lives and the three of us are eager to see where God leads us in the months and years to come. Blessed be God forever!

January 2012

My little peanut Bella is now 10 years old and is growing up to be a beautiful young lady and wonderful big sister to her three younger brothers! She is still the sunshine to my heart and will always be my little baby. I love you, my Sweetie Girl.

I'm not sure if it would be considered "pretty" but I parked next to this cool car at the market the other day.

My kids were relatively fast walkers (and late teethers and talkers) but I think Matthew may be the youngest of the bunch to walk at 9 months. Last week he was only taking 1-2 steps. This week he is doing 3-4 steps. I love then they start to toddle!

My happy guy makes me smile, especially in his "mama's boy" shirt.

I think it is funny how light and curly Matthew's hair is compared to the other kids. I also think it's a little funny that people assume I'm the Mexican nanny since he doesn't look like me. (Hello, I've got a tall white husband, people. ;-)

We haven't heard from our cookie bandit lately but he struck again when I found this in the kitchen...

I went to the boys' room and heard giggling from the closet...

And there was my mischievous fella having a mid morning snack. :-)

I was late in watching this week's episode of The Gist but I was able to watch it today before tomorrow's new show airs (Wednesday at 7:30 AM Pacific.) The 1/18/12 show was about meal planning and confession. Sort of a strange pairing but I enjoyed it none the less. ;-)

If you missed the show you can see it here. Below are a few comments I had.

Meal Planning

It was fun hearing the ladies talk about their meal planning/feeding the family adventures. Sometimes we think that these amazing Catholic moms must have it sooooooo together yet they are facing the same challenges we do. (The occasional chocolate chip cereal and Chinese take out? Love it.)

For my meal planning it has still been working really well using my menu board. I usually plan my meals on Sunday allowing for at least one leftovers day and one eat out day. With a magnetic meal board I can easily switch meals around to another day when something unexpected pops up.

I also have a recipe folder/binder that was a complete shambles (shocker, I know!) but I have been working on organizing it I have my tried and true recipes handy and new recipes I want to try ready to go. If I have time later this week I'll post my before and after pics.

As for getting picky kids to eat better, I don't have any quick solutions. Since Bella was a baby she was an excellent eater and loved all sorts of fruits and veggies (Even brussel sprouts! I don't even like those.) However, the boys have been much pickier. Andrew loves roasted chicken but won't eat pasta or hotdogs. (What kid does not like spaghetti or hotdogs??) His only fruit is apples (and orange juice) and his only veggie is carrots. I've got to sneak veggie in meatballs and baked bread. I recently bought him that V8 veggie/fruit juice to help him get more of his veggies. I am getting desperate! As for JP, he could live on a continental breakfast all day long - fruit, cheese, bread, yogurt and eggs. I guess technically that's all the main food groups. Do you have any tips that work for your picky eaters?

I was thinking about trying this book - Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food by Jessica Seinfeld. Any of you use this book?

Confession

The second half of the show was about Confession. I was happy to see Lino Rulli on the show. I've heard him a few times on his Catholic Guy radio show and I think he is hilarious on Twitter so it was fun to see him on The Gist.

I've finally reached a point where Confession is not scary anymore. I try to go at the very least, once a month and I can always tell when I am about due. In fact, yesterday I was having a horrible day. The kind of day where I am so angry and frustrated that I literally have to walk out of the room and take a deep breath before I lose it or break down in a ball and sob. Part of it was due from my lack of sleep with the kids being sick and Matthew up at night teething but I could also hear that voice in my head telling me that I need the grace of confession to recharge my batteries. I looked at the calendar and yep, it has been one month. So come Saturday morning, you'll know where to find me - in line for confession.

Have a good night!

B.

I read an interesting post about Downton Abbey at The Deacon's Bench blog called The Catholic Connection to "Downton Abbey" by Deacon Greg Kandra. I reads:

It begins with the creator of this popular British series -- and it will become a part of the storyline in the upcoming season:

Oscar-winning screenwriter Julian Fellowes has become Vice President of the Catholic Association of Performing Arts. The announcement was made during a special centenary dinner at Alan Hall in Chelsea. During the evening, Lord Fellowes said that Catholicism would be entering the storyline of his popular ITV series "Downton Abbey" at some point in the near future. When questioned about this, he would not say whether the development would be in the two hour Christmas Day special next week, or the new series in 2012.

Guests of honour at the special dinner, were Archbishop Vincent Nichols, President of the Association, actor Frank Finlay CBE, Chairman Richard O' Callaghan, Frank Comerford, owner of the Stage newspaper, Fr Pat Maloney, National Theatre Chaplain, CAaPA Chaplain Fr Alan Robinson and trustee Mgr Vlad Felzmann. Lord Julian Fellowes came with his wife Lady Emma, lady in waiting to Princess Michael of Kent.

The Catholic Stage Guild was founded in 1911 by Mgr Robert Hugh Benson, a former Anglican priest and youngest son of Edward White Benson, Archbishop of Canterbury, to encourage and support Catholics in the theatre and allied professions spiritually and artistically. A colourful character, he bequeathed his home in Hertfordshire to the Archbishop of Westminster. It has been the country residence of all Archbishops of Westminster ever since.

During this centenary year, CaAPA on the Road has performed entertainments at churches, care homes, including Denville Hall for retired show business performers, and other venues. A centenary concert, compered by Vice President, comedian Don Maclean raised funds for CAFOD at Westminster Cathedral Hall.

Lord Fellowes, who won an Oscar for his Gosford Park screenplay, has become a household name as the creator of "Downton Abbey." During his speech he said that one third of the adult population watched the show. "The series will go on as long as people want it to" he said.

What did you think of last night's episode of Downton Abbey? Here are my thoughts so far.

Mrs. Crawley - I hated to see the way that Mrs. Crawley was getting snippy about Cora and complaining about the changes. She would have gotten a lot farther had she been more willing to compromise and be a team player rather than insisting that everything be done her way. However, my heart did ache for her when she finally left town feeling unloved and unappreciated. I do hope a more humble Mrs. Crawly returns.

Lady Grantham - It was nice to finally see Cora step up and stop being so passive. She stood her ground with Mrs. Crawley and called her bluff all the while keeping her grace and decorum. (I couldn't help but laugh at their discourse.) Even when O'Brien filled Cora's head with tales of secret enterprises between Mrs. Patmore and Mrs. Bird, she didn't just blindly believe her. She sought the truth herself. In the end she gave us one of the best scenes of the night - when she joined then in the soup kitchen and made O'Brien do the same. Loved it.

Molesley - My other favorite scene was very trivial but I loved when Mrs Bird and Molesley were in the kitchen talking and Mrs Bird was teasing him about being so grand as the valet to Lord Grantham. The way he laughed and playfully nudged her was so sweet. It was like a brother and sister joking around. I hated to see him shot down again with the return of Mr. Bates.

Branson - I really liked Branson last season but the more I see of him the more I dislike him. He is not evil like Thomas but he seems selfish and only concerned about getting what he wants. There seems to be a stark contrast between the relationship of Bates and Anna and Branson and Sybil. Bates is consumed with protesting Anna's welfare and not wanting her to do anything that would bring her pain or that she'd later regret. Whereas Branson seems to want Sybil to make all the sacrifices and is pushing her to leave all that she loves, even to the point of belittling the nursing work she is doing. It is true when Sybil and Mary said that he seems to be "full of himself."

Ethel - Stupid girl. Although, I can't help but feel sorry for her. The one I really want to bodily harm is that Major Bryant. I can't stand the smug look on his face (even while he is doing his magic tricks) and I hate the fact that Ethel is the only one being punished for a sin that two committed. (But isn't that so often the case?) Edith put it nicely when the Major said at the beginning, "I was keeping her talking. You mustn't blame her." Edith replied. "I don't."

And although his behavior may be winked at wouldn't Lord Grantham want to know that one of his "house guests" was taking advantage of his servant and now that servant had to be fired. I suppose those were not details he needed to be bothered with, especially when his own daughter was in a worse situation and he still has no clue about that. (How is that possible?)

Matthew & Mary - I was pleased that the two boys returned home safely but frankly, I was hoping Matthew would get hurt and on his deathbed Mary would be forced to spill her heart to him and tell him that she loved him before he died. Of course, that knowledge would give him the strength to live and declare his love for her. Instead I had to watch them look at each other longingly at the concert. I ached for Mary to run to Matthew and put her arms around him even though I knew it would never happen - at least not at this point in time. (I did like that Matthew is still taking Mary's toy dog with him on the battlefield. It gives me hope.)

William & Daisy - William, on the other hand, may have benefited from his brush with danger. Daisy seemed to be genuinely worried for him. Maybe the thought of losing him made her realize how much she does care for him?

Other random favorite scene - The look of the Countess' face when Lord Grantham joined in the singing at the concert.

Other random favorite quote - After the Crawley sisters sing for the first time, Edith says, "I wish we had a man." Mary replies, "Amen." (I could hear my single friends giggling.)

The previews for next's episode looks exciting. There looks like a lot more drama coming, especially from Vera Bates. (If this keeps up I'll have to go to confession for the anger I am feeling towards certain people and it is mighty embarrassing admitting that those people are not actually real. LOL ;-)

On a quick side note Julian Fellowes, the creator of Downton Abbey, is Catholic and he said that in Season 3 "Catholicism would be entering the storyline." That should be interesting. :-)

Feel free to leave your comments or join the discussion at By Sun and Candlelight's A Little Downtown Discussion.

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

Last week I mentioned that I was planning on purchasing the book The World of Downton Abbey. I did get it and I love it. The photography is beautiful and it is interesting to read about how the life and times were back then - from the society in general and the war to fashions and the protocol of romantic relationships. It is perfect reading while I m waiting for the next episode to air.

While I have been obsessing over Downton Andrew there is another obsession brewing in our house since I hear this song everyday, several times a day.

Andrew, my four year old, has replaced his love of Pixar's Cars with Spiderman. The other day I bought him a pair of Spiderman pajamas and I had no idea the drama I was inviting into the house because now the only thing he wants to wear are those pj's! He was really upset that he could not wear them to school (in the rain) and I finally convinced him that during the day he had to bundle up and be Peter Parker and keep his Spidey identity "secret." When he got home then he could change into his Spiderman outfit. He finally agreed. So now every day after preschool he runs through the door and whips off his regular clothes and jumps into his Spidey pj's. Great. (Did I also mention that I had to go back to the store and buy another pair of the pj's so I could wash them in between crime fighting?)

Hmmm...on top of it all, Spidey's mom needs to give him a haircut.

Well, living with a boy that dresses like Spiderman isn't really a big deal but I felt so sorry for the little guy the other day. He walked into the kitchen with a roll of masking tape. He wanted me to help him tapes his hands to the wall so he could climb it like Spiderman. I told him he was too heavy and that tape wouldn't hold him. He said okay and ran out of the room. He came back with a gluestick. Surely the double strength of masking tape and a glue stick would hold him. I again explained that it wouldn't work. After several renditions of "It won't work" and "Yeah it do, Mom" he finally got the message. Poor Spidey accepted defeat and went to his room with tears running down his face. He broke my heart so I set dinner aside to help him find a solution. Not having monkey bars in the house I told him to play Spiderman under his bunk bed. There are several rungs above his bed and under top bunk bed. He could grab one rung and pretend to swing while he grabbed another. He was overjoyed. So I'm temporarily in the clear until he decides to jump off the top bunk onto his brother/Dr. Octopus. (I am sure anyone with boys or spunky girls can relate.)

Well, besides all the in-house crime fighting it has been rather a slow week. The kids got sick last weekend with colds and while Bella and Andrew got over it in a day or two little Matthew is still sick and has been extra clingy - to the point where he screams his head off when I put him down for a minute. Ugh. I told Brian I am having a hard time getting my work done since he just wants to be held. He told me not to worry and just give him the TLC he needs. Okay, but I told Brian that if he runs out of clean clothes he'll have to borrow one of Andrew's Spidey outfits.

On the plus side I have been able to get online much more often than normal. (Even now I am doing the one-hand typing thing while Matthew is resting in my arms.) For this quick take I'll link up a few of my favorite articles/posts that I've read this week.

It seems that contentment, thriving where you are in life, and not putting yourself down when you feel like you are barely surviving life with little ones is a common theme this week.

Comparison Kills Contentment {Catholic Mothers Online Post} by Misty

Moms of Young Children: The Time to Thrive Is Now by Jennifer Fulwiler

Thriving! Who does God want you to be? by Arwen Mosher

Don't Carpe Diem by Glennon Melton

Lastly, if you didn't see my previous post already, check out the interview with Mark Wahlberg where he talks about his Catholic faith.

Okay, Matty is finally asleep so I am going to put him to bed and pray he sleeps long enough for me to load the dishwasher and get some laundry done. Spiderman needs some clean pj's.

Have a great weekend!

xoxo,
B.

There are so many crazy and sad stories about Hollywood actors these days that it is refreshing to see someone who is trying to take his faith seriously and trying to live it in their everyday life as best as they know how. I especially love when the story includes the person coming out of a very dark place and into the light of God's grace and mercy. Here's a snippet of an interview with Mark Wahlberg where he talks about his family, his faith and the importance of prayer in his life.

After that depressing Packers game yesterday, Brian and I were happy to sit down and lose ourselves into the world of Downton Abbey. I didn't use my twitter feed last night so instead I wrote my comments on the main characters this morning. Enjoy and share your own thoughts!

Mrs. Crawley - I loved Mrs. Crawley in Season One, especially when she went toe to toe with The Countess, but she always seemed to be bossing someone this episode. I know she is used to being in charge and doing what she feels is right but it is getting a bit overbearing. Although, she does have the grace to not cause a scene when she is reprimanded or overlooked.

Lord and Lady Grantham - I must give credit to Lord and Lady Grantham for opening their home. I know it seems as if they are being petty and selfish (even the worry over a footman seems a bit ridiculous) but I tried to imagine that happening in my own home. I don't know if I could do it. Perhaps if I was in charge and called the shots but to have someone else tell me what I could and could not do in my own home, I don't think I'd take it kindly. I guess I am more selfish than I'd like to admit. Although, I do wonder...the house of Downton Abbey looks HUGE from the outside. If the Granthams wanted their privacy, is there not another wing of the house they can use? Why do they seem so cramped?

Sybil - Her best line, "It is doing nothing that is the enemy."

O'Brien - O'Brien has shown a much softer side this season and as much as she's been scheming and pulling strings (is Cora completely blind?) it is nice to see that she feels remorse from her sins and is trying to make up for it by watching out for Lady Grantham. I still don't understand why she is so attached to Thomas? Will he land out being her son or related to her?

Thomas - Thomas wasn't that prominent this episode but the scenes he had did not change my views of him. He is still a pain in the arse.

Branson - I don't know what to think of him. He is so hell-bent on making his political statement that he seems blind to all else. Although, Brian and I got a laugh at how many people had to read the note before they actually got to Branson. Thank God he wasn't moving very quickly. The second laugh was the "gun" he was going to use. Thank God he was not planning anything worse!

Mary - I love the change I have seen in Mary. She was so selfish and self-centered in Season One. Now she has numerous opportunities to try and destroy Matthew's engagement but instead she is trying to be empathetic to Lavinia and can't bear to hurt Matthew, even if it means she has to suffer interior torture. Some may call her a needless martyr but I think it speaks of the depth of her true love of Matthew.

Matthew - He may not admit it, but he will never stop loving Mary. I do believe he cares for Lavinia and that she is a nice girl but she is still his second choice. Little things he does show that his mind turns to Mary before Lavinia. I think a telling act, although it was from last week's episode, was when he went out into the battlefield and the token of affection he placed in his pocket was not the photo of his fiancé but the little dog given to him by Mary.

Lang - I can feel nothing but pity for him, even when he foolishly reveals Mrs. Patmore's secret.

Daisy and William - I was so upset with Daisy when she blindly followed Thomas last season, but I chalked it up as a folly of youth. I don't quite understand why she is not in love with William. He is a good man and kind to her. It is not as if she knows many other men in her life. In her position it seems only natural that she'd fall in love with him. As to lying to him, couldn't she have just postponed the engagement?

Edith - Poor Edith seemed to vacillate between vindictiveness to stupidity to the Jan Brady syndrome. It is lovely to finally see that she has found her calling in serving others and bringing kindness to weary souls. I think as long as she does not fall for another married man she may truly find true happiness.

Ethel - Oh, boy. You can see the writing on the wall with that one. One look at the Rico Suave officer she is flirting with and you know exactly what he has in mind. Take care, foolish girl!

Anna - I love Anna dearly and it was nice to see her looking so pretty for her fella. But I wish she would please stop asking Bates to live with her in sin. It is like watching Jane Eyre in reverse. She has the weakness of Rochester while Bates has the strength of Jane. I can't say that I blame her or that I wouldn't be tempted to do the same thing but that doesn't make it right.

Mr. Bates - I want to kiss him for being so gallant and gentlemanly to Anna when she is feeling weak. And I wholeheartedly want him and Anna to find happiness together. However, I do not think for a moment that Vera Bates will go without a fight. She seems like the type who would rather see someone dead than to have them happy with someone else, no matter how much money she was offered

Lastly, The Dowager Countess of Grantham - Is there anyone who does not love her? My favorite line of the night:
Mary : "So what? One knows lots of people in London."
Countess: "I don't know many people who threaten me behind the laurels."

Feel free to leave your own comments here or visit the discussion at By Sun and Candlelight: Let's Dish about Downton. I can't wait until next week!

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

I've been reading a lot on other blogs about resolutions. I hate resolutions because I'll do well for a day or two then go right back to where I started. Instead, I have a couple of work-in-process projects. I've been working on two areas specifically last year. One was to get my house more organized. For those who know me or have been reading my blog, you also know that my three sisters are neat and organized and I'm the one most likely to appears on "Hoarders: Buried Alive." Okay, maybe I'm not that bad but I could appear on the show "My Desk Is Covered with So Much Junk I Can't See My Computer Monitor" as seen here. That is why I started Operation Clean & Organize. I haven't done much since autumn with all the holiday busyness but things have settled down now and I can refocus.

The second work-in-progress is to eat healthier and move more. (Do you ever watch Good Luck Charlie on Disney? As the overweight Bob Duncan was told - "Less bacon and more shakin!") I already joined Weight Watchers and I've lost the baby weight but, again, once the holidays came everything stalled. I stopped keeping track. I kept what I lost off but I haven't made any progress on the still long road ahead. So that, too, must be refocused.

The last two are more mini-goals than projects. And they are more "fun." The first - don't be afraid to try some "feminine touches" in how I dress. When I was younger my favorite colors were navy blue, army green and burgundy. I wore either converse of doc martins. However, as I've gotten older, I have finally let go of that more "tomboy" mentality. I still hate wearing dresses or skirts and run from any shoe that has a heel more than ½ an inch but I can now say my favorite colors are red, orange and yellow - bright and happy colors. I like wearing pink and buying things that are less boyish and more cute. I think I have also been influenced by Betty Beguiles and have learned to better embarrass the feminine side of myself. For example, when I see my sisters wearing pretty flowers in their hair or a really pretty accessory I think to myself - that looks great on them but I couldn't wear it. Well, Bobbi, why not? So I experimented with little things. For Christmas I wore a flower clip in my hair. I also love headbands so I wore this crocheted one I found that had a pretty crocheted flower on it.

I liked it and no one laughed at me. (Do we ever get over those negative junior high feelings that sometimes creep up on us?) And who knows, in the future I may even be blogging about the day I wore one of those cute dresses I pinned on Pinterest. After all, I do believe in miracles.

The other mini-goal is to watch a little less TV. Having cable TV and a DVR, I can pretty much record whatever I want and just watch it later, especially when I am up with the baby. However, it has gotten a bit out of hand. I have had to delete some shows that have just become time wasters. (Sorry, Mom, if I can't discuss the latest person voted off Biggest Loser or why I voted for so-and-so on American Idol.) I will still watch favorites with Brian in the evening and I will certainly still obsess over Downton Abbey (See, Mom, we can still discuss how much we can't stand Vera Bates and how we long for Mary and Matthew to finally get together.) but paring down on TV in general will give me more time to read a few of those books I wanted to get into and read some of the mom blogs I've wanted to follow.

Speaking of reading more, I have already started reading more on my new Kindle Fire. Yes, as I mentioned in last week's quick takes, I finally decided to use my Christmas money to buy one and I don't regret it! I love my iphone but reading on the kindle is so much easier. Plus, I can also read my magazines (did you see that the National Catholic Register is available on the Kindle?) and my Google Reader is a lot easier than on my phone. It is perfect for the evenings when I am trying to get the baby to sleep and have extra time to myself.

And speaking of mom blogs, I first came across By Sun and Candlelight when I was reading a post about Downton Abbey. (Great comments in the com box. btw!) I started browsing around and I am really enjoying Dawn's posts. You should check it out.

Lastly, Dawn (from above) also mentioned that she got the book The World of Downton Abbey for her birthday. I browsed through the pages they had on Amazon and it looks so pretty and informative. It's the kind of book a Downton geek would love. (It is available on Kindle but a book like that, you have to hold it in your hands and feel the paper.)

And I do happen to have a few dollars of my Christmas money left...and it is burning a hole in my pocket...and who wants to bet that for next week's {pretty, happy, funny, real} you are going to see a photo of that book sitting on my desk. I'm just saying... ;-)

LOL! Have a great weekend!

xoxo,
b.

The other day I looked into Bella's room to make sure she was doing her homework. I saw her kneeling on the floor using her chair as a table top. I wondered why she wasn't using her desk until I took a look at it. It was so messy there was no room to write. She said she just cleaned it last week and doesn't know why it was so messy again. I told her that she can't just clean it once. She had to straighten it out every day so things don't accumulate and look like a disaster area. She agreed and started cleaning.

I then walked over to my desk to check something online and ate my own words since my once clean desk looked something like this.

My desk area is my little sanctuary/work center but more often than not I cannot even see the surface of it beneath all the mess. I am trying to make it a habit to take a few minutes each evening and put away the stuff that always accumulates there over the course of the day.

Since I always have numerous piles of papers or projects that I am working on I bought these pretty file folders at Barnes and Nobles to sort and label the piles.

For Christmas I received this cute file folder that I wanted. I keep all our important papers and documents in it. I told Brian that if there is a fire in the house grab the kids first then grab the file. (Which makes me think, what if there is a fire while we are gone? Maybe I should scan those papers and store them online?)

I use these matching mesh pouches to hold pens, stickers/envelope seals and other desk supplies.

So my desk is once again pretty and every night (hopefully) Bella and I will be making sure our desk areas are kept that way.

I'm not sure if I'd call him "pretty" but Matthew is darn cute and he is 9 months old today! (Photo courtesy of my sister JC. ;-)

This weekend Andrew attended a birthday party that was held at a fire station. He got a kick out of the fire truck's tires being so tall.

He was even more excited when he got a turn shooting the fire house into the street. (Free car washes for unsuspected cars driving by. LOL)

Matthew was having fun squirming his way into the bar stool.

However, the fun ended when he couldn't figure how to get out of there!

Back to the fire station..they were showing us how high their ladder went. One of the firefighters started climbing...

...and climbing...

...until he finally made it to the very top. I was dizzy just looking at him. Those guys are amazing!!

Lots of love to all our firefighters!! :-)

Since I didn't get to see the new Downton Abbey until last night, I missed the Twitter party on Sunday night. Yet, I had plenty to say when I did watch it so here is my unpublished twitter feed while watching Downton Abbey. Feel free to share your thoughts!

BTW, if you missed the show you can watch it online here.

UPDATE:Brian just got home from work. He was talking to a coworker from the UK. She has already seen the entire season. She said there is even more drama and turmoil coming and that Vera Bates gets even nastier. After this season there is/was a Downton Abbey Christmas special that wrapped up many of Season 2's conflicts, yet leads into new stories in the upcoming Season 3. Something to look forward to!

The kids are asleep. The lights are dimmed. I am so ready for Downton Abbey! #DowntonPBS

Laura Linney looks as excited as we are.

How did anyone make it out of there alive? #war

That's why we love Downton, Michael. "Seems like another world." (Yet, we can always relate to the human nature.)

Ethel is a cheeky little thing.

The best lines are always from Lady Dowager. #whatisaweekend?

Brian, "What kind of name is Lavinia??" #villianousname

Dearest, Sybil. I just want to hug you.

No one eavesdrops like O'Brien.

Wow, I wasn't expecting Cousin Isobel and Lady Dowager to be agreeing on something.

Aw, Bates. I've loved your character in the last three movies/series I've seen you in. (Downton, North & South and Lark Rise to Candleford.)

Will those two sisters ever stop being nasty to each other?

Poor Mary. Nothing like regret.

Of course Lavinia looks sweet but we'll not stop wishing Mary and Matthew come to their senses.

Poor William. He needs a hug too.

Lord Grantham/Papa always seems to be the last to know.

Oh, no! Mrs. Vera Bates is in the picture now? I thought she was dead or long divorced. Noooo! The writing is on the wall...

BTW, Bates, what kind of proposal was that?

How many times have I said that to Brian, "I'd give you a smack if I didn't want to kiss you so much."

Oh, no an Anna/Bates kiss to tug at our hearts before it is broken.

Quotable: "My my. You are very well placed if you are ever in trouble with the law."

O'Brien the Cat has a new mouse to tease.

Oh, yes, Matthew. Mary is so pleased to be "friends."

Anna and Bates are making plans. Anna is blissfully happy. This can only mean one thing. Disaster is right around the corner.

Mary and Matthew, you are breaking my heart.

There it is. The bombshell. And a nasty piece of work she is. #paininthearse

I can physically feel my blood boiling. Why can't she be thrown on the battlefield in the line of fire?

Mrs. Hughes! You shock me. I thought O'Brien was the master eavesdropper. #nosybodiesunite

No, dearest Anna. Don't be willing to live in sin with him. Think of Jane Eyre. If it is meant to be it will work out in the end.

Oh, Anna. Your tears have brought me to tears. #heartbreak

Daisy, that's one way to cheer William up but be careful, little one!

Hmm, Daisy. Was that look saying, "Oh, yes!" or "Oh, no!"?

How do people live in such conditions? #war

Lovely. First Vera. Now Thomas is back.

Quotable, "If I was a gentleman, I wouldn't want to know." "But you're not." "Fortunately."

Quotable: "Flattered is a word posh people use when they are getting ready to say no."

Be patient, Branson. She may come around.

Oh, God. I guess that bullet had his name on it. #irony #war

Poor Papa. I smell another major let down.

And there it is. An honorary position.

Is Lord Grantham ever going to find out about the scandal?

Checking for vapors? Classic, O'Brien.

Edith, don't be so annoying. Leave Mary to her praying. #pest

I love how the love of a good man can change a selfish heart. I'm rooting for you, Mary.

We're seeing a whole other side of Thomas. Is he going to be less hateful now? #hopeful

Well, that's one way to get off the battlefield. Ouch.

Lang seems like a decent chap. I like the look of his eyes. I hope I am not disappointed.

Is Ethel into Lang? I'm not used to O'Brien being nice.

With a single look O'Brien says, "Give it up. Mosley. It's never going to happen."

Edith, you never looked so good as you do on that tractor! Good for you.

I guess Thomas isn't turning over a new leaf. He's as nasty as ever. #dashedhopes

Don't even think about it, Ethel.

Why does Sir Richard look so familiar?

"Her uncle and I are old friends..." Oh, no. I smell another scandal.

And the longing glances continue. #maryandmatthew

Dear Carson. Don't you dare die on us.

Never mind the blasted dress, Edith! #pest

Another showing of O'Brien's softer side. #newleaf?

Sir Richard...Sir Richard...what do I know you from? I can see you...but it's hazy in my mind...younger...threatening someone...grabbing her by the wrist...that voice...

I can't stand it. Must look him up quickly... That's it. Mr. Preston from Wives and Daughters. Now I can see the scene clearly. #imdb

Is that why you are so nasty, Thomas? Lack of real love?

Sir Richard/Mr. Preston has the same MO. Grabbing a young lady by the wrist and threatening her.

At first I thought the farmers were brother and sister. Then I thought, how sweet. Edith is falling in love with a farmer.

Brian just informed me that he is the sick farmer from Season 1. What? They better stop flirting with each other! #thatsnotyourwife

Oh, no. The poor soldier. Brian wants to know if Thomas gave him the razor as an "act of mercy." I don't think so but who knows?

Oh, Sir Richard you are just bursting with romantic notions, aren't you. I've seen more sentimentality from a block of cheese. #dumphim

Branson is getting hopeful again with Sybil.

Mary can't bring herself to tell Matthew what's on her heart. A letter, Mary. Pouring out your heart is traditionally done in a letter.

I liked Mr. Molesley in Season 1 but he is like a pesky gnat in Season 2. #shooflyshoo

I guess it's not only the posh that say "I'm flattered but..." #rejection

Oh, Edith, I finally started liking you and now you are a blasted homewrecker. And you, Mr. Cheeky Pig, your life was not spared so you can cheat on your faithful wife. Zip it up and get back to your house.

Quotable: "What then? Amputation in the dining room? Resuscitation in the pantry?" #ladydowager

Quotable: "Now come and give me a kiss!" "We'll have none of that!" There are many others that should have been told that!

Daisy, I guess that previous look was "Oh, no."

Of course you shouldn't accept him, Mary. He stinks to high heaven. #dumphim

Read between the lines, Edith. "Get your nasty hands off my man."

Noooo...it can't be two hours already. Blasted. Now I have to wait another week. Oh, well. Let me know what you think! #downtonwithdrawal

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

Happy feast of the Epiphany! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and New Year's. We have been out of town last week and I am still catching up on unpacking the suitcases and packing up the Christmas décor. I think that is why I am so reluctant to clean everything up...I don't want to box up my favorite time of the year. (Well, truth be told, I'm actually a procrastinating messcat but the other scenario sounds so much more romantic...)

For Christmas I bought Brian a Kindle Fire. Anyone who knows me also knows that I am always the first one to get an electronic toy and then later Brian joins the bandwagon. However, I wanted to get him something special and being a book lover I thought this would be a nice match. He was very excited and has been using it frequently.

I have been holding off buying one myself because I have been saving up for an ipad instead. However, the more I think about it; maybe I should get myself a laptop - one of those sleek, thin ones that you can carry in your bag. It may make more sense than an ipad. However, it will take me awhile to save up extra money for that so I may just use some gift money I have saved up and get a kindle for me as well. Brian said that I could have his Kindle Fire and he could get one of the basic Kindles since he mostly uses it just for his books. Tempting, but I don't know. Doesn't it seem like I am taking back the very gift I gave him? I'll have to think about it.

Speaking of electronic toys, a few months ago Brian and I both needed to replace our old iphones that weren't working. We bought the new 4s and I love mine! (Should I admit that I even sleep with it? Hmmm. No, I better not.) I happen to also like the new Siri and I'm always telling her to set up reminders or asking her to read me new texts when I'm busy. I showed Brian how to use Siri and he swears his iphone is defective. He asks her a question and she almost always responds, "I'm sorry. I do not understand what you are saying." I don't know if he is speaking too close or talking too robotic but he insists it is not his fault. To prove to him that his phone was fine I used it and asked Siri a number of questions. She always gave me the correct information. So I don't know what it is. He thinks it's a conspiracy. You know, the same conspiracy/evil plot that allows things to be hidden from his sight. Yet, when I walk into the room to look for the hidden object it is always right there in plain sight. (Yes, Siri and I have it all worked out.)

The one thing I do not like about the iphone is how delicate it can be in the hands of young ones. I bought a cute decorative case cover for my iphone and I loved the personal touch but it gave no protection whatsoever. If I was the only one using it, that would be fine. However, the kids will often use my phone to play games or watch videos, especially in a long line at the market. (One lady at Costco was amazed because I handed my phone to John-Paul and at the age of two he was able to zip through pages and folders and open up his games. It's second nature.) So my cute but worthless cover had to be replaced. My brother suggested that I get one of those ToughSkin rugged rubberized tread cases or one of those military grade ones made out of tires but that seemed a bit extreme.

Instead I settled on the Marware SoftGrip Core Case, available in black, white and pink. I like that it has a protective silicone skin, textured dimples on back to minimize impact shock and extra coverage around the display. It makes the phone slightly bulkier and it doesn't slide easily into my pocket - I have to shove it in because of the silicone traction - but it is sturdy enough to handle the drops it has received so far.

Okay but enough talk about the electronic gadgets. How about a quick take about sewing something crafty and beautiful? (Obviously, not something I did.) My sister-in-law Maria is not only an incredible artist as you can see from this painting she gave us a couple years back...

... but she is also gifted at the sewing machine. Look at some of this handiwork!

She even made her own gift tags, gift bags and bows. And did I ever post what she gave me for my birthday last year?

A card with one of her sketches and matching magnets. So pretty! I'm trying to get her to open her own etsy shop and maybe when she gets over the tough first year of having a newborn, she will. I'll keep you posted. ;-)

I could make my last quick take about the cute aprons my other crafty sister EL made but she may want to post about that herself. Besides, all this sewing talk is depressing me. (I'm getting flashbacks of when I hemmed my pants with duct tape.) So instead I'll put one last plug for Downton Abbey, Season 2 coming Sunday night. Jen mentioned it on her Quick Takes and I was elated to see others are as smitten as I am. Brian and I will still quote lines from it to each other. ("What is a weekend?" hahahaha! Love it.) Okay, here are some closing photos for all you on Team Mr. Bates & Anna. ;-)

Okay that is it for now. I'm meeting up with some local Catholic moms this afternoon - something I've been sorely missing! Have a great weekend! xoxo