We received this email from a reader of RoL:
QUESTION: I am a mother of four young (7, 5, 3, and 1 yrs.) children. I understand and believe in being open to life, but the demands are overwhelming. Additionally, I am now 40 lbs overweight because I cannot ever exercise. This is a very real struggle for devout Catholic mothers. I can tell by looking at the others I know. I need help to get back in shape. What can I do? My husband does not have a weight problem and is not very supportive at all. Please help! - Jane Smith
ANSWER: Hi, Jane. Your question is an important one and one that most of us have asked ourselves! Personally speaking, I've taken a step to get back into shape by joining Curves. The half-hour workouts (at least three times a week) provide strength training and aerobics. Everything is laid out for you, which makes it much easier. There is no thinking about where to start or what to do next. It is much easier to schedule a set time for exercise when I know I can be in and out in 30 minutes. As for babysitting, God has only blessed us with one child so far so it is easier for me. Some Curves have daycare centers for kids, although the one I go to does not. Fortunately, my father-in-law is eager to watch Bella so I drop her off at his house in the afternoon before I work out. (If I can't leave the house I use Leslie Sansone's Walking DVD's.)
However, perhaps you do not want to spend money on a gym or cannot leave your kids with someone. I've asked a number of other Catholic moms with young children how they would address your problem. There are some excellent suggestions - many of which I will follow myself! I hope these are helpful to you. May God bless you and give you strength! Take care and keep in touch. In Christ, Bobbi
The Importance of Time for You
It is really important for moms to take time for God first at the beginning of the day and also for themselves before the day begins with the children. When my military husband is here, I wake up every morning 1 hour before everyone else, read my Magnificat and walk or jog for 20-30 minutes. (Easy in California but a bit more challenging to bundle up in Virginia in the winter.) Even a video in the basement for 20 minutes of stretching would do the trick.
It is important for a woman and the heart of the home not to lose herself! ...
I would encourage you to pray on this and express to your husband that you need his support. Often this requires sacrifice on your part in your sleep, but I will tell you that an hour alone with God and exercise not only gives you more energy, but a clear and positive outlook on the day before anyone needs something from you...including your spouse. I have been able to manage my mental and physical health this way for the past 6 years. It has been different now with my husband deployed but I do still manage the time with God.
One thing I know from friends of mine who are Catholic with multiple children is that the women do not take this time for themselves and begin to look and feel worn down. By reclaiming yourself, not only will you improve as a mother, but as a wife and the benefits to the whole family are very rewarding.
I would encourage you to start with this before addressing more children. I think you have already been open to the call to motherhood, but God also calls you to take care of yourself. Balance, mentally, physically and spiritually will most likely clear your head and heart and allow you to see clearly if you are called to have another child.
My prayers will be with you. Even if your husband does not do a lot to support you, you need to pray and look inside yourself so that you will be able to reap the benefits of this special time as a woman of God, mother of four and wife. In Him, Cindy (Mom of four - ages 5, 4, 2 and 6 months in the womb.)
Exercising Suggestions from Other Moms
---I am 7 months pregnant with 3 children running around (ages 8, 4, 3). Due to extreme pain from varicose veins and a hernia, I wake at 5:30 am, say prayers, due 20 minutes or so of exercise (Denise Austin - Low Impact Aerobics), shower, and usually the troops are up. Sad but true, I then put on the TV most mornings so I can at least finish dressing in peace. Bedtime for me is anywhere from 9:30 to 10:30 at night. I exercise 5/6 times a week. It has increased my energy and reduced my pain. Peace, Susan (Mom of four - ages 8, 4, 3 & 7 mo. in womb)
---A friend of mine gets up and goes to the gym at 5:30 in the morning. She is back in time for her husband to go to work. I prefer going out to walk after dinner (during the time of year when it is light at that time) and my husband is able to be home with the kids. Two kids on a bike and a double stroller might be an option. God bless, Karen (Mom of three - ages 11, 8 and 6)
---Circuit training is a great option for someone who has a tight schedule. You may want to ask your doctor to approve any new routine before you begin. If you have not been exercising at all, I encourage you not to rush. It is better to do part of the routine and gradually do more than to rush and get injured. A great place to begin is http://exercise.about.com. Type "Circuit training" into the search bar. Good luck, and God bless you, Sara (Mom of four - ages 5, 4, 3 and 1)
---For my exercise, I got a machine called the Gazelle. It takes very little space, and is low impact, almost like walking. After Andrew's birth, while my husband was in the Police Academy, I really wanted to take off the baby weight. I had gained almost 40 lbs when I was pregnant, and was at my highest weight ever. I put the kids to bed at 8 PM every night, pulled the machine in front of the TV, and started working out. At first I could only last for 10 minutes, and that was tough! Afterwards, I would lie on the floor and do leg lifts and as many tummy crunches as I could (sometimes this was about 5!) I made a deal with myself that I could only watch TV, (whether a show or a movie) if I was working out. I had to be doing some physical activity.
After about 2 months I could work out on the machine for a whole hour. By the time my husband came home, 4 months later, I was at my lowest weight since being a teenager. I had not only lost the baby weight, but an extra 10 pounds too. I never deprived myself, but would only eat a treat if I finished my whole workout. If I was craving ice cream, I would tell myself that I could eat it after I worked out. Usually by the time I was done I didn't even want it anymore, but if I did I ate it.
I'm hoping to do this again after the new baby is born, and hopefully I'll lose the extra weight quickly. This is what worked for me. I know some women get up early and exercise, but night worked better for me because I knew the kids would stay in bed. Most mornings they seem to sense when I'm awake and then I could never get a full workout in. I know some people do more rigorous routines, but I could do the Gazelle, leg lifts, and tummy crunches. It wasn't too involved or intense and I knew I could, and would do it. Hope this helps. In Christ, Allison (Mom of four - ages 9, 5, 2 and 9 months in the womb.)
---This is my morning routine: If it is a nice morning I go for a brisk walk down the block for 7 minutes and return, another 7 minutes. If hubby goes to work late, I get to go for a 20 minute walk. It is so beautiful in the mornings listening to the birds sing, the sun is just rising and there is clean air to breathe! My Great-Grandmother who lived til' 96 would stand by our back door and take 3 long breaths of air. I do this and think of her!
Then I do morning stretches. There is an excellent book, The Core Program, by Peggy Brill, a physical therapist. Just 15 minutes a day doing these stretching exercises will help your core areas; neck, pelvis, back, hips. When I do these exercises, I do feel better! The key is to be consistent and making time for yourself, because you are better for yourself and Family.
If the kids wake up, I tell them I am doing my exercises. They can eat breakfast or lie down and do them with me. I have also done leg lifts with the kids on my legs, and 'airplane rides' when they are on their tummies on your feet. I also think you have to like the exercise you are doing; swimming, walking etc. Are there any other Moms who live close by that you could 'walk with strollers' and the older kids could walk or bike ride? Thank you for asking for help and for encouragement for us too. Amy (Mom of five - ages 13, 8, 5, 2, 6 months.)
---As a mom of an almost 7, almost 5, almost 3 and almost born I can relate. Exercise WITH the kids - get them on the bikes, baby in the stroller and GO! We walk 3.5 miles everyday to pick up the first grader from work. 1.75 miles there and 1.75 miles back. I walk, my daughter bikes, my son naps and my other son walks home. If you homeschool, figure in major exercise - don't cheat yourself or your kids. To keep it simple I will just list my practical ideas...
Fitness Isn't Just Exercise. Fitness Is A Lifestyle.
1. To make more time for yourself, get the kids to do chores, lots of them. My friend who has 5 kids was getting on me for enabling my kids and shocked me how her 4 yr old knows how to fold laundry, empty the dishwasher and make her bed. I have been incorporating more chores since and am amazed.
2. No junk food for anyone. No processed food for anyone. Eat as much from scratch, limit snacks and kick sugar out. We keep it a treat. How many kids are loaded up with fruit snacks, juice boxes, and cereal bars that are loaded with sugar! We have gone back to basics, baked potatoes, meat and green vegetable. Cheese sticks, not goldfish. Peanut butter sandwiches not graham crackers. Ham rolls not fruit rolls. Water not juice. If it's pre-made it's loaded. Also items with fructose increase desire for more sweets.
3. We've beefed up breakfast and lunch - more protein, less snacks. Eggs, whole wheat pancakes, with flax seed, chicken sausage etc.
4. Get a hobby to fill your evening hours so snacks don't tempt you so much. Cross-stitch, piano, do your nails, write letters. Keep your hands busy so food won't go in them. Really if you eat better meals there will be less snack attacks.
5. Meal plan. Get a menu. Chicken, brown rice and gorgeous salad. Beef and bean chili with gorgeous salad. Sprouted bread, fresh turkey, and home made coleslaw. Pork, sweet potatoes, and broccoli. etc. Limit pasta AND cheese for you.
6. I am almost 20 pounds lighter than my last pregnancy and I think it is because I have limited cheese and ate these simple and filling meals. Do this walk while weeks away from birth.
7. Limit or exclude caffeine. I am a true caffeine girl, so instead of excluding I've switched from coffee to tea (no sugar.) Remember the sure way to gain weight is to drink sugar - No pop and that means diet pop too. Water is your friend.
8. When you buy ice cream, sour cream, mayo, butter etc. Buy the real deal - it encourages moderation. Really, if you have a gallon of Fat Free ice cream in the freezer it is tempting and still loaded with sugar. If it is real ice cream you are less tempted and it takes less to satisfy you. (I learned that one from my skinny sister-in-law) Be satisfied. Also don't get those fake fat free cookies - that encourages over eating.
It will take a few weeks to go through detox. Who knows, maybe you are doing these things already. Hope this helps. God bless, Jolene (Mom of four - ages 7, 5, 3 and 8 months in the womb.)
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