June 2011 Archives

The other day I was talking about how I can't seem to live up to the standards of the seemingly "perfect" mom bloggers out there. Now I know that we are just getting a tiny glimpse into their lives and that they have their own struggles too but you've got to admit that some moms just have it more together than others. I'm one of the "others." I'm resigned to the fact that I'm never going to be a Catholic "Martha Stewart type" but I've got my good points and they'd be able to come out more often if I was a tad more organized.

Case in point, when you enter into our home you immediately see the entry way, the front room (where my desk and "office area" is) and the dining room. The area is surrounded with windows that look out to a beautiful view. However, we never use the dining room and the table has become the catch all for piles of junk and things that need to get sorted and put away. Since the table is such a mess I tend to keep the curtains shut and just add to the piles. The other day I finally cleared everything off the table and opened wide all the curtains. There was so much light and beauty outside that it literally lifted my spirits and I was a more lovable mom to my kids! (Stop laughing.)

Although I'm a mess cat, I do hate all the clutter and feel so much better when things are tidy and organized. But to get me to do it and keep it up, well, that's another story. My youngest sister has been visiting and she kept the kids occupied so I got a good head start in cleaning and organizing the house. However, she flew back to So Cal on Tuesday (huge sniff) and I'm back on my own. So I decided that each day I'll pick one small thing that I can work on that day. Something I can realistically accomplish in between the dishes and diapers and dirty laundry.

My first general task is to make sure that when I wake up in the early morn to feed the baby (or pump), I'll use that time to say my morning prayers and read the gospel for the day. Since I always have my iphone with me and it has my prayer book and missal on it (I love the imissal app!) there is no excuse. That quiet time praying and just talking to God always helps me to get through the day better.

My "just for today" task is to keep an eye on that dining room table and when I see things starting to pile up on it I'll have the kids take what belongs to them. ("Bella, put away your drawings. Andrew, take Buzz and Lighting back to your room. JP, throw away this half eaten apple...) While they are doing that, I'll put the junk mail in the recycling bin, put the empty gifts bags back in the wrapping box, put the Costco items away in the garage pantry and open those windows and let the light shine in!

Who knows, maybe in a year from now some other struggling mother will look at me and say, "How does Bobbi do it all and still seem so sane??" Hahahaha! Okay, I couldn't even say that with a straight face but one step at a time, baby. One step at a time.

Two posts came up on my google reader and both were were really worth the read. They echoed what I've been thinking about all day yesterday.

The first was a post at Creative Minority Report called The Beauty of Human Weakness by Chelsea Zimmerman from Reflections of a Paralytic. My favorite lines are the following:

"...the awareness of the limits of our human nature is meant to lead us to put all our trust in God who wants us to rely on Him for absolutely everything. When we place our trust in God alone His divine power will shine forth in us, sustaining us in our weakness (St. Josemaria, Friends of God, 194). In other words, God uses our weakness to reveal His glory. This is the example Christ left for us that we have been instructed to follow (1 Peter 2:21)."

The second post to resonate with me was These Hands from Tumbling Towards Grace. My favorite lines:

"
Please don't fight me. I know you. I love you. I made you to love me. Please let me love you.

What kind of a God do we have, who pleads with us simply to let ourselves be loved? In a world where our value as people is increasingly determined by what we do, make, create, consume; how radical to hear the message that all that matters is to love and be loved? We have a God who makes Himself available to us every moment of every day, body, blood, soul and divinity in the Eucharist!

And what do I do? I get stressed out by the baby crying, or the messy house, and try to find salvation in a chocolate bar. Or a bottle of wine. Or reality tv. Or whatever the crutch du-jour is. Twisting and squirming in the hands which hold everything, and hold it together.

And right there, is Jesus, patiently waiting for me to call on him, quietly reminding me like the most tender of parents, "please don't fight these hands that are holding you."

It was just what I needed to hear. God reinforcing what he was speaking to my heart. He's amazing that way. Blessed be God. :-)

This is the view from our deck (with the rooftops cropped out.) One of the things I love about Carmel is that you have the beauty of the mountains/hills, the pine forests and the ocean all in one place. When I first came here to visit Brian I was awestruck!

I was trying to get a photo of Bella but Andrew ran into the picture at the last minute. It's funny that they are 5 1/2 years apart but still love to play with each other. I'm enjoying it while it lasts!

Sometimes the house can get pretty loud with Andrew and John-Paul running around chasing each other. Add Bella to the mix and it can be a bit much. On this noisy day poor Matthew just wanted to take a nap. I'd caption this "Oh, how much longer must I suffer?"

I went into the kitchen and found that the cookie thief had struck again. So I went in search of him and found him hiding in the front room. He couldn't deny the crime since he still had the evidence in his hands!

It's just past midnight right now and I should be asleep but I've been cleaning all day (thanks to my sis watching the kids for me) and I wanted a few minutes to unwind and catch up on some Catholic mom blogs.

I recently added a number of new blogs into my google reader and I'm sifting through them to see which ones I'll read regularly and which ones are good but not where I am in life.

The first ones to go are the blogs that depress me. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that have countless posts by talented moms showing their beautiful gardens, their homemade baked goods and home cooked meals, their hand sewn clothes, and their Catholic craft of the day. I can take these in small doses but not all the time. Like I said, it depresses me.

And it's not their fault. It's mine. I just can't seem to follow their lead. I've tried to garden. Truly, I have. In fact, just a few months ago I decided to start again but to keep it simple. No veggies or elaborate flower beds. Instead I have two simple window boxes of flowers and three herbs - basil, Italian parsley and cilantro. I was doing really well but as usual I forgot to water and not just once or twice but for days. Yesterday I went outside to check on my herbs and lo and behold, I'm the only person on my block to have a garden of dried herbs. (Dried... dead... is there really much difference?) Yeah, so gardens and I don't do so well.

Then we come to the sewing. I swear my sister EL took all the sewing genes in my family because I have zero interest and even less skill. Okay, maybe I could sew on a button if I was forced, but just barely. To prove my point, when I was younger I'd hem my pants with duct tape and I've "sewn" things together with a stapler. Yeah, not one of my prouder moments. I get a lot more happiness when I don't sew and instead find a cute outfit on sale at Target or Macy's.

As for baking, home cooked meals and crafts, on occasion I'll put together something good or at least fairly decent but I don't do it all the time. My bigger concerns on a daily basis is that the dishes are cleared before Brian gets home, that everyone has clean undies, that the boys haven't demolished the house and that I've cleaned the pee, poop or spit up from where it happened to land that day. I can barely accomplish that let alone create a replica of the Vatican made entirely out of cupcakes. Sigh. Well, if it means I have our local pizza place on speed dial, so be it.

So instead of being envious of those other moms I'm simply going to avoid temptation and not read their blogs regularly. Instead I'll enjoy kindred posts like Calah's In the Dumps or Nikki's To Call or Not to Call and I'll realize that I'm not alone in my struggle. There are other moms who are trying to get through these adventurous years just as I am.

Oh, I admit that I will try to improve a little each day. But for today, I'll love my family and serve God in the way I know best - with my dried herbs, duct tape and delivery pizza.

UPDATE: It's been a month since I wrote this post and it has been on my mind a lot because God has been using those thoughts to teach me some mom lessons. I talk more about it in my post here.

UPDATE #2: Fast forward two months ahead. I decided that heck, if you can't beat them, join them. I'm attempting to get myself organized so my life will run a little smoother and I won't be so frazzled with the daily grind of motherhood. You can follow the journey here.

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary. (Congrats to Jen on the birth of her daughter!! Read about it here.)

My youngest sister J.D. is visiting us for almost two weeks. We hired her to help me with the kids while I got my spring cleaning and some other projects done. It has been so nice having her around! Not just because the kids adore her and she's so good with them but i love spending time with her. I miss my sisters!

Speaking of missing sisters, My sis EL mentioned in her Quick Takes that she plans to travel from VA to CA to visit the family. Unfortunately that weekend we have another obligation at Andrew's school so we can't make the 400 mile trip to So Calif while they are here. I'm so bummed! Although in the back of my mind I'm trying to figure out if I could still make it happen...if I could get out of the obligation, have Bella and Andrew play hooky, get Brian to take a couple days off work and drive...hmmm, I don't know. We'll see what I can figure out.

This week I have been working on cleaning, organizing and purging all the unused items out of our house. During one of my breaks I was browsing Colleen's Green Grass Blog blog. Her post about a messy house was just what I needed to hear. She also mentioned a book that I was thinking of getting - Smart Martha's Catholic Guide for Busy Moms by Tami Kiser. I have to make an Amazon order tonight so I think I'll get a copy and check it out. I'll let you know what I think.

In our kitchen there are always big bowls of fresh fruit ready to be eaten. Unfortunately we had way too many bananas and they were getting pretty ripe. (I mean like "I'm starting to see gnats" ripe) so I made a batch of chocolate chip banana oatmeal cookies for the kids. (Yes, the kids. And no, that is not chocolate you see on my face.) I still had more bananas to finish so my sister tried a recipe we just saw on Mexican Made Easy for Mexican chocolate banana muffins. The recipe was super easy and instead of using chocolate chips you used crushed Mexican chocolate. They were so good and would taste great with a cup of Mexican chocolate. (if you haven't had Mex choc, it's like regular hot chocolate but with a cinnamony flavor.)

It's probably a little futile talking about hot chocolate when people are sweating in the heat of summer. I forget about that since Carmel has reverted to it's foggy, cold summer days. My poor sister (who lives in the high dessert) is used to the heat and she's shivering at our house. We crack up that we are in shorts and she's in a long sleeve tee and vest jacket. :-)

On Wednesday it was gorgeous and sunny outside at 10 AM so we decided to hit the beach. An hour later we had our picnic lunch packed and the kids were standing by the door in their shorts and sunglasses. Before leaving I looked out the kitchen window and saw the dreaded fog rolling in over the ocean. Oh no! We ran out the door, jumped in the van and I felt like John Cusack on that mediocre 2012 movie trying to race against impending doom. Well you can't beat Mother Nature and by the time we set up camp there wasn't a spot of blue sky, just thick gray. Oh well, we still had fun and truth be told, I'd prefer the fog over blistering heat.

Lastly, Brian and I got a special treat since he won a complimentary lunch at Pebble Beach. The last time we were there John Paul was a baby and we took him with us. This time Matthew is the baby but Jacinta offered to watch all four kids so we could eat alone. (I love that girl!) So we enjoyed our lunch child free - although we were happy when we received texta with pics of the kids having fun with their aunt. We could eat without worry. Here's a pic I took of us that day. Brian doesn't like it because he's squinting but I still think he looks great.

That's it for today. Have a wonderful weekend!!

We went walking in downtown Carmel (CA) this weekend and passed this little shop covered with flowers. So pretty!

I desperately wanted to get a photo of all the kids together. I had a great shot at my mother-in-laws house - everyone was looking and smiling - but the flash didn't go off . The next day I took one outside but I couldn't get all the kids to smile and look at me at the same time. Oh, well. They still make me very happy. :-)

Okay, this is my act of humility. Confession time. I can be a little messy at times. (If my sister is reading then she just spit out her coffee and exclaimed, "A little?!" Living at home, when it came to neatness, she was the Felix to my Oscar.) Anyway, we've been doing some serious housecleaning this week and as I cleaned up I'd tell the kids, "put this on my desk." (See how nicely I shift the blame to the kiddos so I don't look so bad...) Finally the desk looked like it exploded and even I was shocked by the mess. I couldn't help but laugh, hence the "funny."

And for the real...tada! I got everything cleaned and sorted and even found a few things I thought I'd lost. I can't guarantee it will stay looking like this but at least for today it will remain spotless. (I'll just stay away from it.)

Hi All,

I wanted to write you to ask for your prayers for a good friend of mine who is really sick. His name is Tim and I've known him since my early 20's. He has a special place in my heart because he's always been a close friend and years ago when I first decided to discern a religious vocation many of my non-catholic friends were upset and turned away. He was the one friend who not only supported me throughout the process but encouraged me to follow God's path whatever the cost. As it turned out, God's path for me was marriage to Brian. Tim's path was also marriage to a wonderful girl named Monica and together they have twin boys. Gradually we drifted apart and hadn't heard from one another in over a decade.

About a year ago our paths crossed again and we were excited to pick up our friendship and add our spouses. We'd group email each other when we could and although we don't live close we try to keep in touch with each other and our families. When I talked to Tim I was shocked to learn that over the past couple of years he has been diagnosed with a number of life-changing medical conditions, including fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and it has gotten worse since he first told me. He is at the where he spends nearly all of his day unable to even leave his bed. Things like simply getting up to walk around or even sitting outside are either very difficult or impossible, depending on his symptoms at the time. His pain is a nearly unending battle, as well as a sensation of vertigo, which sounds innocuous but leaves him dizzy, nauseous and unable to move. He has also been affected by symptoms that make him extremely fatigued, confused, ill-tempered, and unable to remember even basic things most of the time.

It is shocking to see how Tim's life has changed. Even more heart wrenching to me is the burden and stress it has put on Monica and their 8 year old twin boys. Monica loves Tim deeply and would do anything for him but the strain of being a stay at home mom, while working from home as the financial supporter of the family and homeschooling their boys as well as being Tim's caretaker has taken its toll. Tim in turn has shared how difficult it is to see his wife and children suffer these trials and he can't physically do anything about it. They have only survived this long because of their strong faith in the grace and love of God. My heart breaks for them but at the same time they are such an amazing witness to me and are a living example of Christ's call to "carry your cross."

The good news is that Tim has finally found a doctor that will help him with his condition. However, they would have to leave their home in Oregon and stay in Utah for three months. Their pastor has decided to put together a website for them in order to spread their story and ask for help for them. He is trying to raise the $9,000 it will take to pay for the three month treatment, housing and travel to and from Utah.

I know money is tight and there are numerous worthy causes in need of funds, but if you can spare anything, I'm asking on behalf of Tim, Monica and their boys to please help them get their life back together.

Even if you can't give, I am also putting together a spiritual bouquet for them to let them know that although they are not Catholic and may not understand the Mass or the rosary, we are their brothers and sisters in Christ and we are willing to lift them up in prayer and help them carry their cross as spiritual Simons of Cyrene. You can leave your prayer pledge in the comment box or email me at rol@revolutionoflove.com.

You can send a financial donation directly to their website at http://www.helpthehendersons.com/p/donate.html. Or if you'd like to make a group gift with me in honor of Christ's Passion and Our Lady of Sorrows. You can donate through Paypal here and I'll send them a lump sum.

Thank you so much!!

Bobbi

PS - To read more about Tim and his family and his illness visit the website http://www.helpthehendersons.com.

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

Right now I am listening to Elenowen. I first heard of them when they appeared on "The Voice." The married duo has a great "singer/songwriter" vibe and a beautiful, pure sound. I'm really enjoying them at the quieter moments of my day. (As few as those moments may be.) You can download their album "Pulling Back the Veil" on itunes.

Today is Brian's birthday. (Happy birthday, sweetie!) Brian is truly an amazing man and such a good husband and father. His example constantly teaches me how I should unite myself more deeply to Christ and how to put my faith into action within the trials of daily life. Sigh. I love that man.

Today is also a special day because this morning I picked up my younger sister from the airport. She is going to be here for almost two weeks as a companion and part time nanny so I can catch up on some household projects I need to get done. I loooove when my family (I'm the oldest of nine) comes for a visit (and not so I can put them to work!) But because we are really close and it is hard not to have them living just around the corner. At least they are only about 7 hours away, unlike my sister EL who lives on the east coast. Grr. (For long distance situations like these, facebook rocks!)

The weather here has been nice although it has been unusually cool these past two days. The weather is one of the reasons I don't usually visit my family in So Cal during the summer. They live in the high desert and it is stinkin hot! I am a wimp in the heat and get headaches and bloody noses with the air so dry and the heat over 90 degrees. So instead I lure them up to Carmel to enjoy cool weather and ocean breezes!

Although it's Brian's bday, instead of going out to dinner we'll be seeing a lawyer to put together our will. (Memorable, I know.) We've been talking about it forever but now that Matthew is born we had to seriously get matters together in case the unspeakable happens. At least this way we'll have our guardian named and make sure the kids are taken care of us. Hopefully, with Murphy's Law, now that we are prepared we won't need it. (Or would Murphy's Law be that we are killed on the way to the lawyers? Ugh. Scary thought!)

Tomorrow Brian will get his special meal since he won a prize at work for a free lunch at the Pebble Beach Resorts. (That's where he works.) Since my sister is here she can watch the kids and I may even attempt to leave the baby home as well and go solo with Brian. I'm not sure about that yet so I'll have to think about it.

Okay, Matthew is having a fit on my lap so #7 will have to be wishing a great weekend!

I took this picture at one of our visits to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I love the colors!

My sweet Andrew turned four years old. He came after a couple of years of infertility and miscarriages so he is an extra special blessing.

We don't usually shop at Walmart (I'm a Target addict) but we wanted to check out the new store here. I had never seen one of those huge, long carts. They have are hysterical. (Although, I must say nobody gave me that disgusted "why do you have four kids?" look.) But I barely made it around the store on a quiet Tuesday morning. It must be impossible to maneuver on a busy weekend! Anyway, Andrew thought he was at Disneyland and JP thought he would plunge to his death so big brother was comforting him. And as I take another look at this photo I could also have summed up {funny} with two words - the hair! I know, I know. Time for me to trim the fros. It's on my weekend to do list. ;-)

Bella and her best friend were texting photos back and forth of their angry birds in various circumstances. Here you have angry bird checking his email on his iphone. Lol!

I was getting ready to post the pics for {pretty, happy, funny, real} and I noticed a trackback link from someone with a picture of the Carmel Mission (my parish). I clicked it and discovered the JOYfilled Family Blog. I haven't had a chance to read the posts yet but I love the prayer that is posted on the site. I'll be saying this every morn. :-)

A Prayer Before Logging onto the Internet

Almighty and eternal God,
who created us in Thy image
and bade us to seek after all that is
good, true and beautiful,
especially in the divine person
of Thy Only-begotten Son,
our Lord Jesus Christ,
grant, we beseech Thee,
that, through the intercession of Saint Isidore,
Bishop and Doctor,
during our journeys through the internet
we will direct our hands and eyes
only to that which is pleasing to Thee
and treat with charity and patience
all those souls whom we encounter.
Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

~Father Z

Yesterday Hallie at Betty Beguiles had the great idea of asking bloggers to post their engagement stories. It was so much fun to go back to my old journals and read about our early months together. Sometimes it's easy to forget the romance when you are dealing with the every day busyness of raising little ones. It was a good reminder that Brian and I need to carve out a little alone time no matter how busy.

I don't have time to write out the story (I'm typing with one hand and holding a restless baby with the other) so instead I'll just repost the story of our "courtship" which includes our engagement. Brian and wrote this together so you'll get his side of the story too.

Also, after we were married I found the notes Brian used write down what he wanted to say when he proposed. I was so happy to find that because in the emotion of the moment I don't think my mind was registering all the beautiful words he was saying to me. Now that they are in my scrapbook I can go back and relive them word for word.

Now, on with the story...

BOBBI: In my late twenties, it started to become the family joke that if I was not married the age of thirty then I was going to pack my bags, move to Zimbabwe, live with the natives and die for a noble cause! (Okay, so I was a little dramatic.) Time was ticking and I was trying to grow closer to God and accept my singleness at the moment. My younger sister Elena suggested I try the website Single Catholics Online (now known as Ave Maria SCOL). I laughed at the idea, insisting that I was not desperate enough to look for a good Catholic husband on some dating service! She gave me that knowing look, smiled and walked out of the room saying, "Instead of crying about wanting a husband, get to work and check it out." How does she know me so well?

I immediately logged onto the site...just for fun of course. I was amazed at what I saw. It was not a "dating service" as I imagined but a cyber community of like-minded faithful Catholics who desired to live a life of holiness in the vocation of marriage. The extensive questionnaire alone was enough to allow me to find out more about each man's likes and beliefs than weeks of "surface dating." I also liked the fact that you had to pay a fee to use the site, knowing that the required time and effort would tend to attract more serious Catholics.

I decided to take the plunge but I waited a few days for October 13th on the anniversary date of Fatima's Miracle of the Sun. I knew that finding the right guy was going to take Our Lady's intervention and the Miracle of the SON. For the next couple of weeks I browsed through the profiles and met a few nice guys but nothing serious. Then it happened. A new member named Brian posted his profile and although he didn't have his photo up yet his answers immediately caught my attention. He seemed perfect for me! In fact, he seemed too good to be true and I thought to myself, this guy must be a phony; either he is a fake, writing from a prison cell, or he's real and should be in the seminary!

I couldn't find the nerve to write him so I printed out the top 7 or 8 profiles of guys that I thought best matched what I was looking for. Out of all those guys I knew Brian was my top choice but I still feared that he seemed "too good" for me. I went back to my sister Elena and gave her the stack of profiles I printed. I told her that I planned to start writing one of them but I wanted her to choose the one that would fit me. She came back with Brian's profile and said, "Write him." That was enough confirmation for me. I took a deep breath and composed a short email that would open the opportunity for conversation yet was still ambiguous enough for him to not respond if he didn't want to.

BRIAN: On November 1st, the feast of All Saints, I was on my way to the Monterey Peninsula. That day I left the seminary after a year and a half stay. I realized it was not my vocation and God called me to start a new chapter of my life.

Previously, while reading Catholic publications in the seminary library, I came across an article about a Catholic single's organization called "Single Catholics Online" (now Ave Maria SCOL). I read the article and felt encouraged that someone was trying to establish a forum over the internet where single Catholics could contact one another and find a potential spouse. When I decided to leave the seminary I thought about marriage but did not know where to turn in regards to finding a spouse who was orthodox, wanted a family, and desired to raise children in a Catholic environment. All of a sudden SCOL came to mind and I decided to give the website a shot.

The day I left the seminary is the same day I filled out the questionnaire on the SCOL website. I started a novena to God that night praying that He would help me find the right spouse. I also promised God that I would not write anyone, but only respond to those individuals who wrote me first. I thought it was the best way to assure that this was God's will and not my own. On the ninth day of the novena Bobbi wrote me. Her initial e-mail was short and at first I was not sure if I should respond. But after thinking it over for a day I responded and so began our friendship. We e-mailed one another frequently and our relationship began to blossom.

BOBBI: I was at work when I received Brian's first email and it was so kind and funny that I had to refrain from jumping around the room with glee. I had gotten lots of emails but I knew in my gut that there was something different about this guy and that he would be significant in my life. Also realizing that I didn't want to be rash, I went to Adoration on my lunch break and consecrated to Jesus my new friendship with Brian and asked Our Lord and Our Lady to guide me every step of the way.

Over the next five months Brian and I shared countless emails, letters and letter-tapes until Brian finally felt it was time to talk on the phone. (I, being the more impulsive of the two, was ready to talk to him after the first few weeks but Brian felt we should pray and take matters more slowly. God was teaching me patience AGAIN! )

BRIAN: On March 4th, the feast of St. Casimir, I called Bobbi and we spoke over the phone for the first time. I was nervous when I called and I could tell Bobbi was a little nervous as well. Though I can't remember what we talked about I do remember thinking that the conversation went well. We decided that on April 16th, the feast of St. Benedict Labre, we would meet for the first time. I would fly from Monterey, CA to LAX to Ontario, CA where Bobbi was to pick me up.

BOBBI: The day finally arrived and I paced the airport terminal with butterflies in my stomach. This was no ordinary "meeting a friend." After all the months of revealing our deepest selves to one another through pen, computer and phone, I was 99% sure that Brian was the man I was to marry, but I had to talk to him face to face to be completely sure.

BRIAN: I remember being extremely nervous when I got off the plane. Bobbi told me that she would be wearing a miraculous medal and a medal of the Holy Family so I wouldn't miss her. We met and briefly hugged, talked a little and headed out to Bobbi's parish. When we arrived at the parish Bobbi and I went inside the quiet little Church and prayed the holy rosary together. It was beautiful praying the rosary with Bobbi for it gave me the opportunity to see her put her faith into practice. It became a pattern for us to start off each visit on a spiritual note by praying the rosary, attending Mass or practicing some other devotion.

BOBBI: After beginning our weekend in prayer I took Brian home to meet my family. I knew the biggest test was to come - passing "Mom Inspection." When we arrived at my house my mom looked out the window just as Brian was going up the walkway. She had been praying earnestly for my future husband and she told me later that when she saw Brian for the first time her "heart leapt." She knew he was the man God had chosen for me. Needless to say, he passed inspection from my parents with flying colors.

Afterwards Brian and I headed to Oceanside to visit the Prince of Peace Abbey where we walked the grounds and attended Vespers. Afterwards we drove to the beach to watch the sunset. Unfortunately the clouds were not cooperating and covered the majority of the sky. However, we found an old log on the beach and sat there talking and marveling how wonderful it was to finally be together. Just then we looked out towards the ocean and saw the clouds slowly separate to reveal the most breathtaking sunset that filled the sky with gorgeous shades of golden red. It was as if God was giving His final blessing on the most wonderful day of my life. I felt like I was watching a movie - it all seemed so unreal. (In fact, had this been a movie I would have complained, "Fake! Stuff like this doesn't happen in REAL life!") But this WAS real...I sat there next to Brian with my heart completely full. I looked at him and was struck deeply because I knew he was the one man I had been waiting for all my life.

BRIAN: The weekend Bobbi and I spent together was awesome! Not only did I get to meet Bobbi's family but we also tried to cram as much as we could into the weekend. We attended a small Marian conference, went out to dinner, enjoyed the beach, and visited a state park. Every minute was wonderful and the whole visit was a true blessing. However, the weekend went by too quickly. Before I knew it Bobbi and I were heading back to the airport so I could catch a plane back to Monterey. It was very hard to say good-bye because I was saying good-bye to my best friend. I shed a few tears as I got on the plane, but realized that Bobbi and I would soon be together again. In four weeks Bobbi would come visit me.

BOBBI: After an incredible weekend, it was finally time to say our good-byes. A few hours before arriving at the airport I talked to Brian about our friendship and how it was developing. Ever cautious, he said that he cared for me but didn't know what the future held. I understood that he wanted to go slowly and that he was just not as emotionally attached to me as I was to him. I knew he would get to the same level I was at, but I had to be patient. Knowing this helped me control myself at the airport so I could hug Brian good-bye without shedding a tear. However, I was taken aback when I saw that it was Brian, not I, who was shedding tears. He walked away and as he looked back I could see that it pained him to leave me. Later Brian told me that as he sat in the plane to go home he suddenly realized that he did not want to live his life without me and that he loved me. It was after that first airport goodbye that we reached the same emotional level.

The next few months were filled with a tremendous amount of joy and new love, as well as pain from being separated by 400 miles. As difficult as it was we knew that Our Lord and Our Lady had brought us together and that they would also give us the strength to endure a long distance relationship. I had read somewhere that love is like a spark of fire and that distance from the one you love will either extinguish that spark or set it ablaze. For us, it united our hearts even closer. We were able to truly appreciate what we found in each other because we were constantly reminded of what it was like without each other. However, by the time summer approached we had to face the fact that as our love deepened for one another the separation was causing emotional havoc. Something had to be done.

BRIAN: In the beginning, this pattern of visiting one another every 4 to 6 weeks worked out, but as I started to fall deeper in love with Bobbi our separation became more difficult. On one of her visits Bobbi raised the question of marriage. I must admit I was a bit shocked since I thought it would be some time before we would get engaged. That weekend I thought about what Bobbi had said and decided that she was right. I loved her and I knew we would get married. Plus our separation was taking a great toll on both of us. It was time to get engaged!

After telling my parents, who were both surprised and a little shocked, about my decision to get engaged to Bobbi we made plans to get married in December. On my following visit to So. California I asked Bobbi's parents permission to marry her. I remember being very nervous, but I told them how much I loved their daughter and how I wanted to marry her. They gave me their blessing and permission to marry Bobbi - tears and joy followed. I proposed to Bobbi under the moon and stars. When Bobbi said "yes", I slipped the ring on her finger. We were engaged!

BOBBI: That night I felt like I was walking in a dream. After Brian asked my parents permission we went outside to look at the beautiful starry night. Brian went down on one knee and professed his undying love for me. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought to myself, how in the world could I have been so blessed to have the love of this wonderful man? (I still get tears just writing about it...) I said yes and hugged Brian as he slipped the most gorgeous ring I had ever seen on my hand. There in the moonlight we held one another thanking God for His mercy and goodness in bringing our lives together.

BRIAN: The following day Bobbi and I attended Mass with her family. During the Mass we had our engagement blessed in a beautiful ceremony. (As a side note - for those of you who are engaged, I highly recommend that you have your engagement blessed). Preparations for the wedding were made during the fall and winter months. One of my assignments was to find a priest to marry us. On September 13th, the anniversary of the Blessed Virgin's fifth visit to the Shepherd children of Fatima, Fr. Ryan celebrated the evening Mass at Carmel Mission. When I saw him come from the sacristy and stand behind the altar I knew at that instant that he would marry us. After Mass I asked Fr. Ryan if he would marry Bobbi and I. He kindly said "yes". The following week I secured the Carmel Mission Basilica for December 28th, the feast of the Holy Innocents. The Basilica was free the entire day so instead of choosing a morning time I chose 3 PM, the hour of Divine Mercy.

BOBBI: Living 400 miles away from the wedding site made matters a little harder to plan but thankfully Brian's mom took on the job of coordinating the entire reception. A week and a half before the actual event my parents helped me move all my things to Carmel. It was a bittersweet feeling. I rejoiced at the new life I was going to start with Brian, but at the same time it pained me to say goodbye to my family. Luckily the last minute preparations for the wedding kept my mind occupied for the time being.

BRIAN: The night before the wedding we had our rehearsal and then we went out to dinner with our families and the wedding party. We ate at a Swiss restaurant and had fondue; everyone had a wonderful time and our families enjoyed one another's company. After the rehearsal dinner Bobbi and I said goodnight and we both went our separate ways for the last time.

BOBBI: The day of our wedding finally arrived. As I stood dressed in my bridal gown with the long train and veil, I felt like a princess about to marry her prince. It was the strangest feeling...as if I was walking through a dream. I remember standing at the side door of the Carmel Mission and listening to the procession music start. Soon I was walking down the aisle on the arm of my father. I had to hold back the tears as he led me to Brian and then placed my hand into his. I kissed my Dad on the cheek knowing that he was happy for me but also sad to let his "little girl" go.

I looked over to Brian and his eyes were brimming with joy and love. My own heart was brimming...not only because I was about to marry Brian but also in thanksgiving to God for showering his mercy upon me and for answering my prayers above and beyond my imagination. There had been a time not too long ago when I thought that I'd never find the man of my dreams but on this day I married him. Together we vowed our love, standing no longer as two, but as one. I don't think the day could have gone more beautifully or could have touched me more deeply.

BRIAN: On December 28, 1999 Bobbi and I got married at the Carmel Mission. I will never forget the day. The sky was crystal blue and it must have been about 75 degrees outside, which is unusual weather for December. But the weather was only the icing on the cake; what made the day so special - one that I will never forget - is that I entered into a union, a covenant with the woman I love. The woman God gave me to be my wife. God called me to the vocation of marriage and I responded with a "yes".

"To Thee be praise, to Thee be glory, to Thee be thanksgiving through endless ages, O Most Blessed Trinity!"

I loved fashionista Hallie's idea of being a personal shopper but I never thought it to be comedy. (Unless I became a client.) However, when Jennifer of Conversion Diary shared her experience I was laughing so hard I woke up Matthew who was asleep in my arms. Hilarious. Check it out for yourself. Conversion Diary: You don't know how crazy you are until you get a personal shopper.

Thanks to Charlotte I discovered the Like Mother, Like Daughter Blog. I spent way too much time this morning browsing it (hence, why I am still in my pj's at 8:30 in the morn!) but there were so many great posts I couldn't stop reading. Especially the ones about homemaking and organizing your day (was there something about getting off the computer...) and family life. Anyway, make sure to take a look. In the meantime, here is my contribution to their inspirational photo posts {pretty, happy, funny, real.}

Recently Brian and I celebrated the anniversary of the day we first met after six months of long distance online correspondence. I hate to admit that with all the busyness of a newborn I forgot about it and wondered why he came home with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Luckily, he understood because that is just the kind of amazing man he is.

I love this picture first because it is a rare moment when I get John Paul to sit and smile long enough for me to snap a picture. Second I love that little grin he always has on his face when he is feeling happy (and slightly mischievous.) Third, I love the way Matthew is looking at his big brother. My sweet boys.

This shows JP's mischievous side. He wanted a snack and I was just not getting it quick enough so he took matters in his own hands. He found the block of cheddar cheese I left on the kitchen counter. When I returned to the kitchen looking for the cheese (and JP) I found him in the corner munching away.

Yesterday I knew it was time to fold the laundry when the clean clothes pile was almost as tall as me. Andrew, ever the household helper, decided to help me out. He tackled one basket and was so pleased to show me his finished product of "folded clothes." I have to give him credit that he actually separated each pile by each family member. Messy but so sweet.

If you are reading this blog then I am sure that you, like me, are familiar with having online friends that you care about even though you have never met in person. We can't help but share in their joys and cry over their sorrows. Jessica over at Shower of Roses Blog wanted to do something special for the pregnancy of Charlotte of Waltzing Matilda Blog but was unable to visit her personally. Instead, she created a virtual baby shower online and we are invited! There is a group gift/spiritual bouquet, game, prizes...all the usual baby shower fun. Go check out the baby shower and you may be inspired to host one for your online friend. :-)

Now that summer is approaching there is usually a little more time for reading (theoretically speaking, that is.) Here are the books that are currently on our nightstands.

The Cypresses Believe in God by José María Gironella

Poor Banished Children: A Novel by Fiorella de Maria

Toward the Gleam: A Novel by T.M. Doran

No Turning Back A Witness to Mercy by Fr. Donald H. Calloway

The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity - Hardcover by Meg Meeker

Youcat by Cardinal Christoph Schonborn (editor)