Recently in motherhood Category

I have been thinking about Brian's article about Bl. Maria Celine and pondering that the only way she could have endured so many major crosses in her life was by first enduring the little crosses of her life. That got me thinking about how I am doing in comparison. There are so many times throughout the day when little things just bug me - plans have to be changed, Andrew makes yet another mess, something breaks down, ants are all over the kitchen, etc.

Sometime I am able to take a deep breath and offer up the inconvenience to Our Lord but too often, I get aggravated and upset. I remember one time I was sharing this with a priest in confession and I'll never forget his response, "What makes you so special that you think you shouldn't have inconveniences in your life?" He was very kind and sincere in how he said it, but the question delivered the swift kick in the rear I needed. Oh yeah, I guess that little pride thing has been getting in the way again.

So I've been trying to see all the little crosses in daily life as my opportunity to practice humility and self-surrender. Sometimes it's a hit and sometimes it's a miss but I'm working on it. (Ah, Andrew just tipped over the trash can onto the floor. I didn't know I was going to have to practice quite so soon! Later.)

Last week I went to a baby shower for one of our local Catholic moms and it was the second one I attended that had Catholic elements incorporated into the activities and gifts. I loved it and thought it would be great to put together a list of ideas on how to make a baby shower reflect your shared Catholic faith. Please tell me about ideas you've seen or used in the past. You can email me at rol@revolutionoflove.com (or answer in the comment box) and I'll post the answers on the blog and website. Thanks!

Okay, I was supposed to sign off after the last post but I quickly checked out Trisha's blog and I had to comment on her post The Gift of a Child about parents choosing to keep or abort their unborn babies with medical problems. As I mentioned to her, when I was pregnant with Bella, Brian and I were sitting in the doc office (not our regular obgyn)waiting for the same check-the baby-for-deformities ultrasound. There was a little TV playing and on it other couples were talking about when they took the test. One mom talked about how she found out her baby had medical problems so she chose "termination." Brian and I were shocked to see it "advertised" in the waiting room.

This time, when I was pregnant with Andrew, I told my obgyn Dr. V that I wanted to skip all that testing. Being a Christian pro-life doc, he understood that we'd never abort if there was something wrong but he encouraged me to take the non invasive tests so if there was a problem he'd be able to prepare for it before delivery. (I thought about babies that went through surgery before they were even delivered!) So we went for the ultrasound and minimal genetic testing.

When we arrived at the ultrasound office we explained to them that we were only doing this so if there is something wrong, we could prepare to do whatever was medically necessary to help our baby. Termination was a word never to be uttered before us. The genetics testing lady clucked her tongue a bit but she complied. It's crazy that we had to be so adamant and fight for our baby's life before he was even born!

Ugh, that fired me up! Hand me the vacuum. I've got some serious cleaning to do...

A friend was asking me about how I do a morning meditation and how it differs from sitting quietly and repeating an "ooom" mantra. Well, the purpose of my meditation is to quiet myself down (my head can be going a mile a minute) and to turn my heart and mind towards God in order that I may converse with Him, draw closer to Him and allow Him to guide me in the rest of my day. It's basically spending quiet time with the one you love. I admit, unlike Brian, it doesn't come easy to me to sit and pray. I have to work at it so that even on days when I feel rushed, I can give God some quality quiet time. Starting my day off this way helps me to keep Him in focus when the rest of the day is crazy with typical mommy duties. (Some prefer to take this prayer time in the evening or at 2am when they are feeding a newborn. Go for whatever works for you. Start small and work your way up.) If you want a better explanation on how to accomplish this prayer, check out this Meditation Guide that really helped me.

My mind has been in a fog today. I was on my way to taking Andrew for his one year check up and I kept zoning out while I was driving and then having to think, “Wait, where am I going again? Swimming lessons? Dentist? Target? Oh, yeah, pediatrician.� Scary.

I’m happy to report that Andrew is fine and healthy although just a little peanut compared to other babies. However, Bella was the same way and he began life on the small side, clocking in at 5 lb, 12 oz, so I’m not worried about it. I must say he was also a trooper since he was due for his next round of shots. In fact, my sis EL was just asking me about my views on vaccinations. (Did I ever email you back?) I have friends in both camps and I respect both sides. Personally, I am pro-vaccine with reservations.

We go to a pediatrician who is more holistic and into organics and keeping things as natural as you can. He does give vaccines but he doesn’t follow the standard procedure and timing. He does the bare minimum and spreads out the timing of the shots so the kids’ little bodies aren’t inundated with them all at once. It requires me going to the office more often but in this case, I don’t mind. So far we haven’t had any problems or side effects and today Andrew whimpered a little when he got his shot but he was smiling again within minutes. So yeah, EL, we did have the kids vaccinated. Another factor to consider is that regular schools require vaccines but if you’re homeschooling, it’s not as big an issue.

The way Brian loves books, I love magazines because at this point of my life, I don’t have the time to sit and read like I used to. At least with a magazine, I can take ten minutes to read a whole article before I have to stop and clean up the box of cheerios Andrew dumped on the floor. One of my favorite Catholic mags was Envoy. I loved its mix of solid Catholic teaching/apologetics and zany humor and I was bummed when they stopped publishing. Then out of the blue, I received a new issue with the notice that they are back up and running. I was happy to hear it! You can get your own free issue of Envoy Magazine here.

The other resurrected magazine is True Girl, now called TG Magazine. The mag is geared for Catholic teen girls and older. Although Bella was too young for it, I ordered a sub when it first came out to support them and pass on to friends. I thought it was well done and am happy to hear that it is around again! If you have a teen girl you should check it out at TGMagazine.net. (The new website is not as visually appealing as the old one, but it is still early in the game.)

Lastly, since we are on the topic of magazines, if you are a Catholic wife and mother (or husband/father) you absolutely MUST order Faith and Family Magazine! The quality, both in production and content, is excellent! It has practical and informative articles on living your Catholic faith in all aspects of family life and I have never been disappointed in an issue. I love it! Plus, now you can read a sample issue online at FaithandFamilyMag.com. (We are so excited to get others to read F&F that we started selling subs as a fundraiser for the RoL website. Just use promo code “Q91286� when ordering online. Thanks!)

I was thinking about yesterday’s post this morning and it got me to thinking about suffering in general. There are various degrees but whether you are suffering from infertility, the loss of a child, the death of your husband or any number of things, there seems to be a point where you are able to lift your eyes and see that you are not the only one suffering.

A friend struggling with infertility told me about a book she was reading about a Japanese woman who was persecuted for her faith – they tortured her and her 3 yr old child. Despite the horrors she faced, she kept her faith saying, "Remember that life on earth is very short and eternity is very long." It brought to mind friends who have suffered tremendous loss – a newly married friend whose husband was accidentally killed while she was pregnant with their first child, another friend whose mom was brutally raped and murdered, and an acquaintance who suffered eight miscarriages in a row. They could not comprehend why God allowed these things and the internal anguish was acute but they relied on God’s grace and only He was able to bring them through it.

This was a tremendous example to me. I don’t think the pain of loss ever fully goes away but it helped when God’s grace allowed me to take the focus off of myself and realize that there are many who suffer, and suffer greater than I do. After some time, I finally reached a point of saying, “Ok God, you obviously have a different plan for me right now, so what are you asking of me?� And He let me know. There was work for me to do while I was single (looking for a husband,) childless (praying for a baby,) parent of one (missing my miscarried babies) etc. It was difficult but God used these opportunities to bring me out of myself so I could stop focusing on only what I wanted from God and start focusing on the larger picture (eternity) and asking God what did He want of me?

I received an email the other day from my friend Maria who is suffering from infertility. She forwarded the links to two blogs (all you who hope.blogspot.com and the apostolate of hannahs tears.blogspot.com) and one article in This Rock that helped her deal with her cross. I found the All You Who Hope blog to be especially touching since I went though some of the same things.

As some of you may know, Brian and I have had our ups and downs with conceiving and maintaining pregnancies. The first year of our marriage, we hoped to get pregnant right away but it never happened. I was shocked since I figured I'd take after my mom who had nine children. It was a time of pain and soul searching as I was reminded of my BC days (Before Christ) when I didn't want kids. (But we'll save that story for another time.)

I was not seeing any doctor at the time but I knew that my crazy cycles (they would be really long with no signs of ovulation) always improved when I was at a healthier weight. I changed my diet and lost about 20 pounds but our first anniversary came and no baby. Our disappointment was tempered by the incredible opportunity to start the new year with a trip to Rome. We made it our prayer pilgrimage, asking Our Lady to help us conceive a child. Two months later, everything seemed to click and we finally conceived Bella.

After Bella turned two years old, we tried to conceive again. Nothing happened. We tried more self-help means with diet and such but it wasn't working this time. I was getting fed up and with trying and failing and tried to just be happy that we at least had Bella. Two years later, we got a huge surprise. I was unexpectedly pregnant. We were ecstatic! I remember starting another baby journal as I did for Bella and writing to our little one. Unfortunately, our joy shortly turned to despair when I suffered my first miscarriage. We were devastated. It happened during Lent and I remember how keenly I experienced the sorrow of the season. But as painful as it was, it brought me so much closer to Our Lord.

Having not been able to have another child yet, adoption has been on my mind lately. So I found this article interesting - Joy Multiplies.