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For the next few Weigh-in Wednesdays I'll be doing a book study of Hallie Lord's Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter .

Previous posts:

Chapter 1 - How I Fell Out of My Minivan and Found Myself by Jen Fulwiler's.

Chapter 2 - "Style: Balance, Beauty and You" by Hallie Lord

Two Concerns - When I write about prayer and the spiritual life, I find it difficult because I never know where the other person is at spiritually speaking. There are some Catholics who will say grace before meals and perhaps a quick prayer in the morning and the night. Then there are some who go to daily Mass, pray a daily rosary, attend weekly adoration, read the Bible and the Breviary. There is not much I can tell them that they don't already know. On the contrary, I am the one who can learn from them.

So when I first saw that Karen Edmisten's chapter was about prayer, two thoughts immediately came to mind. First, I hope she is not over-my-head spiritual and I get lost when she starts talking about locutions and whatnot. The second concern was what can she say that I haven't already read a hundred times? I sighed and opened up the chapter anyway.

God Speaks - Just as I was about to start reading, Matthew (my one year old) started banging his toy on our flat screen TV. I looked up and could see the color of the TV screen go white at the spot where he was banging. Quickly I turn off the TV and took the toy away knowing that it would do little good because it is a game he enjoys playing. I tell him no, take the object away and get him interested in something else. He waits for me to walk away and then he runs back to the TV and bangs it with any object he can find. As I am looking at him exasperated, I can hear that "God voice" in my heart says, "You know, Bobbi. You are just like little Matthew. I tell you something. You listen for a few minutes then you are off doing your own thing again. You may have heard all that prayer stuff many times before but are you actually listening and following it? Are you so proficient that you have nothing left to learn?" Touché.

I'm Hooked - I return to the book and dig into Chapter 3, knowing that God has his lessons for me. My second concern that Karen would be too lofty was alleviated when I read advice like this:

"Theoretically, the when of prayer is simpler than the what. We pick a time, and we commune with God, right? Eh, not so fast there, missy. In my experience, life rarely goes as planned. We all keep waiting for that golden, magical moment when life will settle down, and everything will shimmer and waft dreamily into place. Listen to me very carefully: Life doesn't settle down. Not on this side of heaven. Still, there are a few things we can do to help our messy, unshimmery lives run a little more smoothly."

Oh, yeah. That's a woman after my own heart! Seriously, I feel like skipping my comments and just tell you to go read her chapter for yourself. It is concise, down to earth and spot on. I can't explain it any better than she already did and the Holy Spirit may highlight something to you that is completely different from what he wanted me to hear. It is a great overview and you can get other material to delve deeper into the areas that most struck you. Regardless, I'll go ahead and share a couple things that touched me the most.

But I Already Know That - One of Karen's opening paragraph's sums up the whole need for this chapter:

"But no matter what the temptations, the solution to conquering them is the same: grace and prayer, the sacraments, accountability, spiritual support from others, and ongoing discernment to keep our relationship with God flourishing."

She goes on to say:

"We know what it is. We know we need to do it. And we agonize over fitting it in. But without prayer, we haven't got a prayer."

That's right. We've all heard it. We all know it. But like the little toddler with his mischievous ways, there is always something to learn or be reminded.

Karen talks about various forms of prayer but I especially enjoyed when she said to "embrace your vocation or current state in life." She continues:

"Whether you're single, married, or discerning a call to religious life, deliriously happy or a confused mess, offer it up to God. Give him every moment. Prayers and pleas muttered throughout the day (God loves intimate muttering, I'm sure of it) are a great way to stay in touch with him."

This reminded me of a time last year when my brother was really sick and almost dying. He was on my mind all the time but we lived far apart and I couldn't be near him. Instead I turned to God. In a previous post about it, I wrote:

"...with my brother on my mind so much I have been constantly turning my heart to God to pray for him or to just talk to God about what happens to be on my mind. It is a reminder of how I should always be - going about my work but aware of God's presence with me. I noticed that when I had to stop what I was doing to tend to another toddler crisis, instead of complaining or having a fit of impatience, I just sighed and thought, "I do this for love of you, my Lord."

I still think of that today and try to remember it. Karen gave some beautiful examples of how we can keep that prayer going throughout the day to day activities in our lives.

Visual Aids - Karen shares:

"My friend Johnna, a mother of eight, stations strategic visual reminders around her house to help her focus on her calling. 'When I'm in the midst of chaos,' she said, 'which is our house most of the time, I need to see that I am not alone.' The corporal works of mercy are labeled in various rooms of the house. A homemade sign exhorting, 'Feed the hungry' is taped to a cupboard. 'Give drink to the thirsty' is above the kitchen sink, and 'Clothe the naked' graces the washing machine. The time-out chair beckons, 'Visit the Imprisoned.'"

I love that idea! We have a very (as my mother-in-law calls it) "Catholic house" meaning that people can tell we are Catholic by all the icons, religious pictures, statues and prayer altar. (Hopefully our actions prove the fact. ;-) I am a very visual person so I like to keep an icon of Mary and baby Jesus on my kitchen window ledge and a cross on the kitchen wall and a crucifix and an icon of my patron saint (St. Anne) on my desk in front of my monitor so I always see it.

In fact, I loved the Works of Mercy idea so much that I made a 5x7 sign, printed it on cardstock and posted it to the cabinet above my washing machine. It is a perfect reminder as I am washing the tenth load of laundry that day.

Scheduling - Remember that first quote from Karen that I posted, that was from the section about making time for prayer. I am happy to say that I finally made it work with my confession time. I like to go to confession at the least once a month (more often when I am in need of extra grace.) It was always sort of hit and miss but now that Bella is old enough to come with me I had to make it a steady habit, for her as well as me. We decided to go every last Saturday of the month. It is on our calendar and Brian knows that he'll babysit the boys while she and I go.

Just last Saturday (which was the last one of the month) I was already thinking, "Gosh, I have so many errands to do this Saturday. I want to get to Target first then head to Costco right at 9:30 AM when it opens... maybe I'll just skip Confession and go next week (since confession also starts at 9:30 AM.) It's not like I won't go... I'm just waiting an extra week...." But I knew I couldn't. Instead I rearranged my day so I could do to confession first then run my errands. Sure things were a little more hectic in the parking lot and crowded in the Costco aisles but my heart was able to take it since it was filled with grace. :-) And it was a small act of love I could offer to God. (Yes, I am so low on the spiritual totem pole that forgoing an early trip to Costco counts as a sacrifice. ;-)

Accountability & Spiritual Friendships - That is an area I definitely need work on. I don't have a formal spiritual director although I go to confession to the same priest who knows me and my family situation so he is able to guide me in my vocation. However, I don't have female friends who I am really close to in order to discuss deeper, spiritual topics. I used to but it seems like since I was pregnant with Matthew we sort of fell out of touch. That is something I'll have to rectify. I can talk more about that in the chapter about friendship.

Discernment - Karen briefly talks about the book Retreat with the Lord by Fr. John Hardon. The book offers simple steps for discernment based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. She gives bullet point categories of discernment that we should consider while praying. I found this really helpful since a mother's life is full of prayer and discernment about herself, her family and those around her.

"My One Thing" - In the last section of Karen's chapter she says:

"Though my life has been full of about-faces, since my conversion I can say one thing with confidence: I know who I am. Life is still messy, but I get that the goal in life is to will one thing: loving Jesus Christ."

We should each have that one goal that is always at the forefront of our mind and at the center of our hearts in all that we do. As I mentioned in another previous post, lately my one goal has been to love Jesus and to be a comfort to him. I wrote:

"... I was at confession and the priest talked to me about being a comfort to Jesus. He told me to let my heart be a dwelling place that brings comfort to Christ... It is easy for me to call on Jesus and seek his help but something struck a nerve when the priest told me that I could console the heart of Christ. Since then I have often prayed, "Lord, may I never bring you grief, instead may I be a comfort to your heart."

Sometimes I forget that but Karen's chapter helped me to not only remember but it gave me practical means to put that into practice. So I guess I did have something to learn after all.

A special thanks to Karen for writing this chapter and sharing her wisdom and wit with us.

PS - If you don't already have it, go buy the book or join my contest to win one!

For the next few Weigh-in Wednesdays I'll be doing a book study of Hallie Lord's Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter . You can read comments for Chapter 1 here.

When I first saw that this chapter was about style, I immediately thought that I wouldn't get much out of it. After all, I pictured "Ms. Betty Beguiles" to be the epitome of a womanly wife - feminine, flirty (to her hubby, that is!) and godly, all dressed in a cute dress and heels. I think we all have our own little vision in our head of what a "stylish" wife should look like. Maybe we fit the image or maybe, like me, you seem far from it.

My Style (or lack of it) - As I was reading Hallie's chapter the first time around, I couldn't help but think back to how my style has developed over the years. I have always been...what did they call it...big boned...pretty plus...yeah, whatever they called it, I was not wearing the cute little outfits my skinny friends were wearing. As I got older I loved stylish clothes but was very limited to what I could find that fit me well. I think I compensated for it by becoming an expert at accessorizing - jewelry, handbags, shoes. Those things I could find without worrying about size.

Slowly I moved away from that, though, and the other day I was trying to figure out why. In my late teens and early twenties I started exploring more of the world. I grew up very naive and somewhat secluded. I made new friends who had a big influence on me and I fell away from God. My friends were either into dark clothing, tattoos and piercings (long before it became mainstream) or they were into skateboards and punk music. At that point my mode of dress was plaid shorts, converse shoes (or doc martens) and a band t-shirt. My favorite colors were navy blue, army green and brown. (Sounds a little military.) I would have rather died than go out in public in something pink or frilly! That slowly changed (as I mention later) but even after marrying I have always gravitated towards being more tomboy.

When I first started reading Hallie's blog I loved how she embraced her femininity without seeming "prissy." Over the last couple of years, I have finally let go of that more "tomboy" mentality. I still hate wearing dresses or skirts and run from any shoe that has a heel more than ½ an inch but I can now say my favorite colors are red, orange and yellow - bright and happy colors. I like wearing pink and buying things that are less boyish and more "cute." I have definitely been influenced by Hallie and her website Betty Beguiles.com and have learned to better embrace my feminine side.

Okay, enough of my thoughts about Hallie and style in general, now I'll comment on the book.

Conversion and the "New" You - The beginning topic reaffirms what was discussed by Jen in Chapter 1. Speaking of her own conversion and the need to change Hallie says:

"But, of course, giving up our identity isn't what [God] asks of us, is it? Yes, we are called to constant conversion. Yes, we are called to become more Christ-like. But we are not called to jettison our personalities and passions."

Again, God is reminding me that I am my own unique person. Daily conversion doesn't require me to erase who I am; rather, it takes the essence of me and makes it better. It reminds me of a saying that my mom always said, "God loves you just the way you are, but He also loves you too much to leave you that way." The Holy Spirit wants to guide us and mold us into incredible women of God but women of God with our own unique quirks and tastes. I picture it like walking through a garden. Some flowers are stately and regal roses. Some are delicate orchids. Some playful daisies. Some sturdy but cheerful sunflowers. Each flower is different but equally beautiful in its own way.

Does Modesty = Prairie Skirts? - Hallie makes an excellent point in sharing that sometimes we can mistake being "modest" for being "dowdy." I know that when I was younger and my parents came back to the faith and started really practicing it, they made a lot of changes in the house. This was the same time I went through my own conversion so I agreed to make drastic changes. It was not easy for me to go from wearing shorts and converse to wearing long prairie skirts and ridiculously large pocket tees. But we thought that was what God wanted. Thankfully, we came to realize that we don't have to go from one extreme to the other. There is a happy medium and although it may take a little work, a faithful Catholic can marry style and modesty together.

Confidence Booster - Hallie talks about makeover shows and the power of transformation. She says:

"She is the same person she always was, but her new physical appearance brings forth elements of herself that were hidden before -- elements that have the potential to effect change not only in her own life, but in the lives of all with whom she comes into contact."

That is so true! It can be something very simple or something drastic. I remember a year or two ago my sister came back from the hair salon and she looked fabulous. I was again complaining about my hair using such terms as "rat's nest" and "brillo pad." She laughed and said that we had basically the same type of hair and that I should get it professionally cut instead of using the kitchen sheers to hack off a couple inches every 6 months. I conceded but it wasn't easy.

I don't know why (and I laugh at it now) but I had the hardest time doing it. First I didn't know where to go. Second, I didn't want to spend the money. Third, I just felt stupid trying to fix myself up. (Maybe that was some of the tomboy residue in me.) Finally, I found a convenient place with a sweetheart of a stylist who understood my crazy, curly hair and I worked it into our budget to see her on a more regular basis. I remember coming out of the salon trying to remember when was the last time I actually loved my hair! I told that to Brian when I got home and he gave me that smile that men give their wives that says, "I don't get what the big deal is but if you are happy then I am happy too." Feeling good about yourself will definitely affect how you relate to yourself, your family and those around you.

Vanity of Vanities - Hallie gives some excellent points in regards to the difference between caring for yourself and getting caught up in vanity. Although I could not relate to her need to dress like June Cleaver (I break out in hives at the mere thought of wearing heels) I could definitely relate to the need to examine our motives. As women, I think this is especially important. Whether we are tomboys or divas, there is always the potential for doing things for the wrong reasons. Whether it is working out in the gym to the extreme so you will look hot in a two piece bikini at the beach. Or maybe it's putting on some extra makeup to impress the cute dad who frequents the same park or play group. Or maybe it's in the opposite direction and letting yourself look tired and frumpy so your husband won't make any physical advances at you that night. Okay, these examples may seem far fetched in our particular situations but we are all guilty of doing things for the wrong reasons and if we ask God he'll enlighten our hearts to let us know if we are on the right path or need a little work.

Balance - I love Hallie's explanation of having different seasons in our lives. For me the most trying season is with a newborn. On those days getting in a shower every other day was a cause for rejoicing. That would be what she calls a "survival season." (Now that the baby is one year old my season has eased up considerably.) I love this paragraph here:

"I think I understand balance better these days. It's a constant struggle as seasons of plenty and of want come and go, as hormones fluctuate, and as life throws new challenges in my direction. But this much I know: We women have got to find a way to be merciful toward ourselves without completely throwing in the towel; to surrender to the hard times while still fighting for our ideals; and to remain open to God's grace while accepting that sometimes that grace isn't going to look and feel how we might hope. So how do we do this? With a whole lot of prayer and a few good habits."

Perfectly stated. I also liked Hallie's recommendation of doing one small thing for yourself each day to boost our well being. On some days my treat is still to let Brian watch the kids so I can take an uninterrupted shower. Or it will be to drive to Costco all by myself with the radio blaring. Other times it is having a half hour to post on the blog and clear my head through writing. My biggest struggle is maintaining that balance. There will be days I give and give and give until I am about to lose it. Other times I rationalize that I need some "me time" and go on the internet only to find that two hours later I haven't done the laundry, washed the dishes, changed diapers or started dinner. So for me, I work on balancing getting my responsibilities done and still having a little break for myself.

A Healthier Me - Hallie stated:

"Every woman's physical needs are going to manifest themselves differently. At a bare minimum, though, we ought to be striving for four things: healthy eating, regular exercise, adequate rest, and occasional peaceful pampering."

This is the area I reeeally struggle with! It is hard to make time to exercise! Even this morning as I was getting the kids ready for school I kept arguing with myself that I should skip my exercise this morning because I have a,b,c,d,e,f,g... to accomplish before the day is over. Yet, I knew I had to keep exercise a priority and not automatically shove it under the bus. I was tired and wasn't in the mood but I persevered and got it done. As usual, I felt much better when I was done and somehow managed to still complete the other things I needed to do. (Or, at least came pretty darn close.) I am still struggling with the healthy eating but I am slowly making progress at making better choices. After all I used to consider ketchup and apple pie as two servings of fruits and vegetables. (Oops, did I just admit that out loud?) So I've come a long way but still have a longer way to go. But one step at a time. ;-)

Well, this took a little longer than I anticipated to write down but I am glad I did it. It helped me sort it out in my head. But the kids are now tugging at my feet so I better sign off. Have a great afternoon! (And xoxo to sweet Hallie. ;-)

As I mentioned last week, for the next few Weigh-in Wednesdays I'll be doing a book study of Hallie Lord's Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter . I had been making notes over the week but yesterday I was ready to forget the whole idea.

Yesterday was an awful day. Seriously, it wasn't the usual busy and stressful day of mishaps. It was different and I couldn't put my finger on why. When Brian came home I went to my room, locked the door and begged God to help me and literally cried myself to sleep. I haven't felt like that in a long, long time.

A half an hour later I opened my eyes and came out of the room like a weight was off me. Brian hugged me and asked if the demons had been attacking me. It clicked. That is exactly what it felt like. The interior struggles were like familiar demons that I have not battled in a long time. In my experiences, usually when there is a "spiritual attack" it means God is preparing a turning point... some good fruit that will come out of a particular situation.

I am not sure what that situation is. Maybe it's my own personal growth as I am studying this book. Maybe it's the trip Bella and I are taking tomorrow. Maybe it's something I am not yet aware of. Whatever it is, yesterday I thought I'd never post this book discussion because I was the last person that should be sharing lessons with you. But now that the fog has lifted and I am at peace again, I'll go ahead and post what I've written so far. If you haven't read the book yet, hopefully it will encourage you to pick up a copy. It truly will be one of the best $10 you ever spent. :-)

I love Jennifer Fulwiler's writings and was pleased to see that she covered the first chapter of the book: How I Fell Out of My Minivan and Found Myself. After wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes from her Dukes of Hazzard's van story, I was hooked by this paragraph.

"I had a specific idea of what the authentic Catholic woman was like: She was the picture of joy and grace every time she went to Mass and always had an emotionally powerful experience upon receiving the Eucharist; she kept her home tidy; and she joyfully crafted elaborate celebrations for each liturgical season."

I could relate to Jen's feeling of inadequacy. In fact, this is a topic God has been drilling into me for the last 9 months. It all started last summer when I wrote the post Those Perfect Catholic Moms Are Killing Me. I had been reading a number of Catholic mom blogs and seeing all their accomplishments at homemaking and motherhood was making me feel like a loser.

As days and weeks passed I told myself that I can't help it if I was messy and disorganized and that I couldn't sew a button or keep a plant alive more than a week. So what if I get impatient and fired up at the slightest mishap, especially on the days when I forgot to spend time in prayer because I was too busy checking my facebook and emails. That's just how I am.

But it was bothering me. Is that it? Am I to resign myself to "just being myself." I knew there was plenty of room for improvement. Then I started reading the book The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers - Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity by Meg Meeker, MD.and the first Habit was called Understand Your Value as a Mother. In my post about it I talked about feeling inferior, rediscovering my talents and listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. In one part I wrote:

"It's funny that once I stopped comparing myself to my perceived super moms (after all, I am seeing a tiny, sanitized glimpse of their lives,) I started seeing that I possessed some of those same talents that I admired in them. It is as if my creative side woke up. I started posting on my blog again because I love having an outlet to write. I've tried new recipes and found cooking fun again. I've started organizing small sections of the house and realized I, too, could be organized. (Relatively speaking. ;-)"

That got me to thinking - what is "me" and what's a warped vision of me? Then I read Jen's words:

"To uncover your unique brand of holiness, you have to sift through your God-given quirks and talents from your sins."

Suddenly the light bulb clicked on. That's it! (If I was an Oprah fan I'd say it was my AHA! moment.) That's what the Holy Spirit was trying to tell me! Separate the quirks from the sins. I had my own unique calling and vocation that matched my personality and my temperament. I didn't have to become a carbon copy of mom A, B or C. I just had to be the best version of me and slowly God is showing me how to achieve that.

Jen sums it up using one of my favorite quotes:

"St. Catherine of Siena famously stated, "Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire." We tend to focus on the second, more dramatic part of the statement, but the first is just as important: Be who God meant you to be. Embrace the one-of-a-kind brand of holiness that God has chosen for you. Reject your sins, but love your quirks."

Perfectly stated.

At the end of the chapter, there are a number of questions for deeper reflection. I'll share one of the questions and my reflection with you.

#4. What saint has challenged your ideas about what holy people are like? What did he or she do that surprised you?

A saint that forever changed the way I think about holiness is St. Francis de Sales. My old parish was named after him and I remember the pastor once giving a talk about his life. He said St. Francis was known as the "gentle saint." He was a model of kindness and patience in guiding souls to Christ. He said this was ironic because St. Francis actually had a fiery, sometimes violent, temper and it did not take a lot to set him off. However, with God's grace he was able to tame his temper, transforming his greatest fault into his greatest strength.

This also reminds me of what a priest once told me in confession years ago. I was struggling with certain temptations and feeling overwhelmed by them. He said that if we surrender ourselves to God and rely on his grace, we can turn our biggest weakness or sinful tendencies into the very path that will lead us to heaven. He gave me the example of St. Mary Magdalene. She was a prostitute, a woman undoubtedly who dealt with sins of immorality. Yet, when she gave heart to Jesus and repented of her sins, something in her shifted.

Mary Magdalene found false love in the men she was involved with, but with Jesus, she found true and pure love. Her desire became not to please men but to please Jesus. We know that she succeeded in purifying her heart and loving Christ deeply because she was granted the grace to be the first person to witness the risen Lord. Like St Francis de Sales her weakness was transformed into her strength. It doesn't mean that they did not struggle but they relied on God's grace and they slowly became their "true" selves.

Now that I am following Jen's advice of separating my sins from my unique quirks, God is helping me to overcome those sinful tendencies. When I fail I like to remember St. Francis de Sales. I'm encouraged to know that God's grace can do anything so I pick myself back up and continue on the path chosen for me.

When I first heard about Hallie Lord's new book Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter I was ecstatic to find that many of my favorite Catholic writers/ bloggers/ moms were contributors. I preordered my book and when it finally arrived I planned to devour it immediately. Unfortunately, family circumstances prevented me from having much free time and when I did have a moment the book was never within reach. Finally I downloaded the book onto my Kindle & iPhone so I could read it anytime I had a spare moment. I'm so glad I did!

When I told a fellow mom the title of the book she was a bit skeptical - "Style and Sex?" Those were not high on her radar at this time of her life. Another single friend didn't consider buying the book since she figured it was only for married moms. In reality, there is something here for every Catholic woman (and as this reviewer shows, Catholic men too!) The authors and topics covered are...

Jennifer Fulwiler - How I Fell Out of My Minivan and Found Myself (Catholic Womanhood)

Hallie Lord - Style: Balance, Beauty, and You

Karen Edmisten - God & Godiva

Elizabeth Duffy - Sex, Passion, and Purity

Anna Mitchell - Single and Seeking God's Plan

Rebecca Ryskind Teti - What Works for You?

Rachel Balducci - Fruitful Friendship

Danielle Bean - We Said Yes (Marriage)

Simcha Fisher - Receiving, Creating, and Letting Go: Motherhood in Body and Soul

Barbara Nicolosi - Plugging In and Embracing Discipleship in the 21st Century

I breezed through the pages loving the sense of humor and honesty displayed but I found myself time and time again stopping and re-reading a sentence because it was as if the Holy Spirit was tapping me on the shoulder and telling me to pay attention to the lesson He was trying to teach me.

Although, I read quickly through the book, it is not sufficient to stop there. I really need to go back and think about the points that stood out to me. There are also excellent discussion questions after each chapter that can be answered alone or within a book club. Because of this I've decided to read the book over and dig a little deeper. For the next few Wednesdays (starting April 18) I'll share with you my thoughts about each chapter. Feel free to read along and share your own thoughts as well.

If you don't already have a copy you can order it at Amazon (paperback or kindle) or enter the RoL Birthday Contest to try and win a copy - along with some other goodies! :-)

As a side note: This book is also a great gift! At the last baby shower I attended I gave the new mama a care package of tea, chocolate and this book. A perfect treat when she finally gets five minutes to herself! ;-)

Have a great day and we'll start our discussion next Wednesday (4/18) with Chapter 1. :-)

I have always enjoyed the paintings of Carl Bloch and Gethsemane is one of my favorites. Since I was a child I was intrigued with the thought of an angel consoling Jesus during his agony in the garden. Years later, I heard a priest give a talk explaining that part of Jesus' agony was carrying the weight and the guilt of all the sins of the world. However, he received strength when he saw all the future souls that would love Jesus and would do their best be faithful to God. That thought always stuck with me.

Another time, I was at confession and the priest talked to me about being a comfort to Jesus. He told me to let my heart be a dwelling place that brings comfort to Christ. I immediately thought of the painting of the angel. It is easy for me to call on Jesus and seek his help but something struck a nerve when the priest told me that I could console the heart of Christ. Since then I have often prayed, "Lord, may I never bring you grief, instead may I be a comfort to your heart."

I know I have failed miserably numerous times, but today is an especially good reminder that we are all called to be that solace. Whether we are giving our little ones a hug or helping a troubled coworker or sitting before Our Lord in the tabernacle, our love for God and his children brings comfort to Christ.

In these final days of Lent, let us make a special effort to act as that angel in everything we do. Let us be a source of strength and comfort to Jesus in the garden and on his road to Calvary.

Have a blessed Triduum and Easter Sunday! (I won't be posting again until next week.)

With love,

- I wrote this earlier this morning and then I started cleaning the house. As I was straightening Brian's desk I saw this book: Consoling the Heart of Jesus. A Do It Yourself Retreat Inspired by the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius by Fr. Michael Gaitley.

I started thumbing through it and it looks really good and talks about the very things that have been on my mind in regards to consoling the heart of Christ. I think this will be the perfect book for me to read next. (There is also a condensed companion book.)

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

I am sorry to say that I am only half awake this morning. I was up at 3:30 AM with Matthew, who was either teething or feeling sick. Whatever it was, he was not happy and not sleeping. I can't say that I felt much different at the time. After two hours I was finally able to get him back to sleep so I could catch another 30 minutes before I had to get up with the rest of the kids. It's times like these I think I should start drinking coffee.

The other day I met an acquaintance I haven't seen in awhile. She remembered me when I was pregnant with Andrew. When I told her I had four kids now she actually gasped. She stared at me for a minute and said I don't look like I have four kids, which got me to thinking... What is a mom with four kids supposed to look like?? I don't know but if she saw me right now she'd be saying, "You look like this and you only have four kids?" Grr. (Okay, let's think of something more upbeat...)

I am in the last month of our school fundraising and Brian and I were actually able to solicit some nice gifts to be auctioned off. It is surprising that I am on the committee because I am terrible at sales. I like helping people but when it comes to talking them into buying something (or giving me something for free) I can't bring myself to push it. There is another mom on the committee that has the ability to walk into a business cold turkey and she walks out with a complimentary deluxe package worth $500. I walk into a business and say, "You don't want to donate something, right? No, I didn't think so. Okay, thanks anyway." Every once in awhile I do get a positive response to which I say, "Oh, you do? Are you sure? I'll understand if you don't. I know money is tight so don't worry if you can't..." Yeah, I'm not a salesman. The other mom said I had a pleasant demeanor so they would donate. "Pleasant"? I don't know. That sounds an awful lot like the blind date with the "great personality." Oh, well. I'll take what I can get.

At least the soliciting of donations has put my "mommy cards" to good use. What's a mommy card? It's like a business card but geared towards my business - mommyhood. It's great for when I need to give people my contact info quickly. Above is the one I use, although my personal info like my last name and phone numbers are edited out. They have a lot of cute ones at Vista Print.com. They have an offer for 250 free cards but the selection is limited. You can also choose the $10 special (with the $5 off savings) and have a large selection. Just search "mommy card."

Last Friday I was going to tell you about a book I read - Stealing Jenny by Ellen Gable - but I was so preoccupied with the my vomit shower and Matthew's near death experience (how's that for an upbeat topic?) that I never got to it. Here's the summary, "After three heartbreaking miscarriages, Tom and Jenny Callahan are happily anticipating the birth of their sixth child. Their neighbor, however, is secretly hatching a sinister plot which will find Jenny and her unborn baby fighting for their lives." The story is well written and although the kidnapping is a harrowing tale, the book is also touching as it explores the topics of love, courage, forgiveness and trust in God, both in the main plotline and the flashbacks of Jenny and Tom's beginning friendship. I may not recommend this book if you are a pregnant woman prone to worry (especially if like me, you recently saw a documentary about real life women who were in similar situations. Scary!) However, to the others, I wholeheartedly recommend the book. You can get it in paperback or download it to your kindle for only $2.99.

After the suspense of that story I was looking for something else that would keep my interest. A number of people I know have been taking about The Hunger Games and there has been so much hype about the movie that I downloaded a free sample chapter onto my kindle. Let's just say that I read the first chapter and was drawn in immediately and downloaded the rest of the book. That whole day I was sneaking my iPhone out and trying to read pages in between whatever I was doing. Finally after everyone was in bed I read well into the night and breathlessly finished the last page. There is a great Book Review and Parents' Guide of The Hunger Games Trilogy from a Catholic perspective over at Catholic Lane.com. It begins:

"The Hunger Games is a futuristic, sci-fi series that draws heavily on themes of violence, war and power. It is set in the dystopia created by the Capitol, the ruling class that satiates its own pleasures at the expense and oppression of the 12 Districts. The Districts, which are made up of the working class, provide the Capitol population with everything it needs to continue its own survival and remain in power.

The story commences with Panem, the country that emerged from the civil war ruins of what was once North America, preparing for the annual Hunger Games. The Games are televised live and are mandatory viewing for every citizen in the nation. They were instituted as a punishment for the Districts' attempted rebellion against the Capitol years ago. Every year each of the 12 Districts must provide one boy and one girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen who will fight to the death on live television until only one child is still alive. The Games exist to remind the people in the Districts that not even children are beyond the reach of the Capitol's power..." (Continue reading.)

The guide reviews all three books so Spoiler Alert if you haven't read them already. There is also a list of topics and discussion starters for those parents with older children who will want to read these books.

To show you how much I loved reading The Hunger Games, Brian suggested that he watch the kids and I take an afternoon off since I've been so busy with household stuff and the school fundraiser ect. I told him I'd like to see the Hunger Games movie this weekend. He was surprised since I've never gone to the movies alone but he was more that happy to give me some time off. So I've bought my ticket and have my handkerchief and a bag of peanut M&M's in my purse. Tomorrow afternoon this mama will be ready for 2 1/2 hours of action and drama. After that I'll be ready to come home and kiss my husband and kids and hold them close!

In the meantime, have a great weekend and may the odds ever be in your favor.

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

Yesterday was an insane day and, as usual, my way to cope is to write about it. It started out normal enough but then it went crazy...

Rain Clouds Gather - I got the kids off to school them went to take my morning walk. When I was done and as I was getting Matthew back in the car, I got a phone call from the preschool. My usually playful JP was listless and not himself. I wasn't sure if he has just tired (I loathe you, daylight savings time) or coming down with something. So I picked him up from school and headed home. The poor guy slept for an hour or two and then seemed much better. I gave him his lunch then went to send off some fundraising emails while Matthew played with his toys.

A few minutes later JP came to my chair and I scooted forward so he could take his usual position of comfort - standing behind me on the chair, leaning his head on my shoulder, and rubbing his finger on my lips. I don't know how this soothes him but it does. As he hugged me I was thinking to myself that he seems fine now and maybe we should go ahead and go to speech therapy when he made this strange noise. Now the excitement begins...

TMI Alert - I turned my head to look back at him and saw chunks fly out of his mouth. I was covered in it, the desk chair was dripping and the desk was splattered. Immediately Matthew saw puddles of liquid to be splashed in and ran over. Luckily I was wearing a jacket over a tank top so I threw off the jacket, which had most of his lunch, and in one arm I held JP and my desk trash can, in case more was to come, and in my other arm I grabbed Matthew and ran down the long hallway to my bathroom. (See all that walking is paying off.)

I looked in the mirror and saw vomit dripping from my cheek onto my neck. Nice. There's nothing like the glamour of motherhood. I quickly wiped my face off then bathed JP while Matthew emptied out the contents of the bathroom drawers on the floor.

The Famous Last Words "I Only Turned for A Second" - I finished cleaning JP and then smelled Matthew's stinky diaper. No problem, after JP's fiasco this will be cake. Now this is where things get scary - seriously. I grabbed the phone to call the speech therapist and leave her a message that we won't be there. I placed Matthew on the bed to be changed. As I'm leaving my message, phone cradled in my neck, I had one hand on Matthew and with the other hand I tried to grab a diaper wipe that was just... out... of... my... reach... and my wiggle worm tried to escape but headed in the wrong direction - right off the bed. He fell down and started screaming. I hang up the phone. (What a message that will be.)

Snap Out of It - I picked up Matty to comfort him and you know how a baby cries really hard then sucks in a breathe and cries even louder? Well, Mathew sucked in the air but never let it out. He just stood there then looked almost like he was going to faint. I freaked out. I thought perhaps he hit his head so hard he had brain damage. My mind traveled at warp speed - it a matter of seconds I pictured the whole scenario - me in the hospital, the doctor telling me they did everything they could, my breakdown, the funeral... I slapped myself out of it and rubbed his chest and called his name. He finally took a breath and whimpered but seemed tired out. As I debated going to the emergency room or calling 911, I quickly changed his dirty diaper. There was no time for me to change out of my vomit clothes. I'd have to bring JP with me and hope he doesn't get sick again. In the meantime Matthew had quieted down and seemed better.

Dr. H to the Rescue - I called my pediatrician's emergency line and told him what happened. He asked me detailed questions about what happened. How far did he fall (off the bed), is the floor carpeted (yes), did his eyes roll back (no), are his pupils unequal (no), is he vomiting (no, just his brother), etc. He said it sounded like he was okay but I had to keep an eye on him for any warning signs. It seems he didn't so much hurt his head but rather he was crying so hard that he lost his breathe.

Perspective - I sat on the couch with the boys grateful that Matthew finished his milk and was now hitting me on the face with his "love taps" as he laughed and babbled away, "Mamamamamama..." Who cares if my desk area was still covered in vomit or that I had yet to shower after getting drenched in it. Who cares about all the things I "should" be doing today. I was just relieved that I had my babies snuggled in my arms and God has spared me a scary, scary cross (at least so far.) There's nothing like a little shake up to help you put back perspective in your life!

Lesson Learned - Today is a new day and the kids are home from school. I hear yelling, screaming, laughter and the sound of JP and Matty giggling as they play with the bubble machine by my desk. The chaotic noise never sounded so beautiful.

So if today happens to drive you mad and you are feeling like you are going to lose it, stop and take a breath. Remember what matters most and count your blessings. God will get you through the rough spots. Don't wait for a near tragedy to remind you.

Thanks for listening and have a wonderful weekend!!

Six years ago Bella went to a local Catholic preschool. I loved the fact that it was small, family oriented and shared the love of the Catholic faith with the children. Bella is in 4th grade now but Andrew started his first year at the same preschool. I don't know if I've shared this on the blog before but we were worried about Andrew because he had a serious speech delay. At the age of 3 he was speaking like a 2 year old who is just beginning to talk. Now at 4 years old he speaks much better but he is still going to speech therapy to help with pronunciation and clarity, especially with some of the more difficult consonant blends. When Andrew started school in September he was often quiet in class. Foremost because he was shy but I think he was also a little uncomfortable not being able to speak as clearly as the other children. Slowly, he came out of his shell and is speaking more in class and with his friends.

I've been busy lately with the spring fundraiser for Andrew's preschool. Last week, I had to attend a meeting at the preschool in the morning. At the end of the meeting, Andrew was playing outside having recess with his class and I watched him without him knowing. He was riding a tricycle with some of his friends, talking and laughing with them. He was happy and the same playful little boy I see at home. I was pleased to see that he was now comfortable at his school and with his friends. I am also grateful to his two teachers who have met with his speech therapist so they could better help him in the day to day learning of class. It brought peace to my heart to see him happy and doing well.

Unfortunately, this road has to be traveled a second time. John-Paul is showing the same speech problems at the age of two and we recently started him with speech therapy as well. As I mentioned, I had to attend that meeting at Andrew's preschool and I was a little concerned because I'd have Matthew and John-Paul with me. I knew Matthew would be okay but I wasn't sure what to do with JP. The principle offered to let JP visit the 2 year old room until I was done with my meeting.

I was happy for the opportunity because although we usually don't put the kids in preschool until they are 4 years old, I was feeling like I needed to put JP in next year at the age of 3. He doesn't have the same personality as Bella and Andrew. They were/are more sensitive and have a tendency towards timidity and they were more than happy to spend their time at home with me. JP is more adventurous and independent and he is not afraid to be around other people. I could see him benefiting from going to school sooner. At least this would give me the chance to see how he reacted in a classroom setting.

That morning when I took John Paul to the classroom they were starting circle time and I worried that my rambunctious boy would not sit still. He was a little nervous and clingy at first, but he soon became interested in the activity and had no problem letting me go. I went to my meeting and over an hour later returned to JP's class and watched him unnoticed. (I secretly love to spy. ;-) He was doing great and babbling away. I felt very at peace seeing him there. And I knew he loved it because he was so upset that he had to leave early.

I have been praying about what I should do with him in regards to school and his therapy and everything finally seems to be falling into place. I talked to the Brian, to the principle, to his speech therapist and prayed about it and I think Brian and I are going to try and put him in the preschool this March three times a week for a few hours. I never imagined having my two year old in school, but then again, when Brian and I got married we never imagined doing anything but homeschooling. We may still be homeschooling in the future but for now, this is where we feel God is calling us.

It is very difficult, and a little foolish, to get my mind set on one fixed way of doing things in regards to our family life. Circumstances change. Situations come up. Children have their own unique needs. As I grow older, and hopefully wiser, as the years go by I have to adjust my plans accordingly. There are some things that remain fixed - we will always try to love and serve God above all else - but the means of attaining that can change. I think the most important thing for me is to continue to learn to quiet myself down so I am able to hear the Holy Spirit whispering to my heart and then I have to have courage and trust in God's grace that I can follow through on whatever he is asking of me. These are things that don't come easily but I think Lent is a perfect time for me to put it into practice!

Please say a prayer for me, Brian and the kids that God continues to guide us on the best road for our family. Thanks!

Happy St. Valentine's Day! Lots of love to all my family and friends (and anyone else who may be be hanging around the blog.) Thanks for listening to me and giving me a chance to step away from the business of life and have a little creative fun online. :-)

Since it is Valentine's I am giving you a treat. You can choose which of these Valentine's you prefer. If none of them are of any interest to you then you probably clicked on this blog by mistake. My apologies. Google is to your left.

Have fun!

I give to you a synopsis of St. Valentine's life from UCatholic.com.

St. Valentine was a holy priest in Rome, who, with St. Marius and his family, assisted the martyrs in the persecution under Claudius II. Since he was caught marrying Christian couples and aiding any Christians who were being persecuted under Emperor Claudius in Rome [when helping them was considered a crime], Valentinus was arrested and imprisoned. (Continue reading at UCatholic.com...)

I give to you a Valentine Abbey. You can find more at Chad-thomas.com. So funny!

I give to you a post from my newest favorite Catholic Mom blogger Cari over at Clan Donaldson.

Tales from the Kid Ghetto

If you have children, you know what the kid ghetto is. You've been there. Whether you wanted to or no, you've been there.

The kid ghetto is where you're seated at the restaurant when you show up with people requiring booster seats or high chairs.

The basement you find yourself in during family reunions, where your senile great uncle and four nameless adolescent cousins are the only other people hanging out? That's the kid ghetto.

Trip to the mall? The kid ghetto there is that shockingly unsanitary play area you swear you'll never go to, but one day you push your luck one store too many and that's where you end up.

Even church has one. Oh yes, a place as welcoming and forgiving as the church has its own kid ghetto. It's the last five or six rows- the pews aaaaaaalllllll the way at the back of the church, where you're in the liturgical catch-22 of children who can't see what's going on and get restless, but aren't yet behaved enough to be trusted closer to the altar.

You know you're there when all the missals are missing covers and the smell of Desitin and apple juice hover perpetually in the air.

That's where we were today for Mass. Normally, I avoid the kid ghetto, and try to sneak my way into the no-man's land of the middle pews, but since we had to attend the 5:00 p.m. Mass, we knew we had five potential time bombs on our hands. Hunger, fatigue, and an hour of having to stay in the same 3 foot area are not a good mix if you're a kid. (Continue reading at Clan Donaldson...)

This was originally posted at RoL but I reposted it on the blog for anyone who was interested.

February 14, 2001

It is Valentine's morning and I still can't believe it. I suspected that our dream was finally coming true so I took a pregnancy test. I followed the procedure then closed my eyes while I waited for the results. I prayed three Hail Marys that I would accept God's will graciously. After the last prayer I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the test... there it was! How many times have I seen that awful negative result but this time it was positive. There is a little one growing inside me!

Brian was in the kitchen so I went in there and asked him to close his eyes and hold out his hands to receive a Valentine's gift I wanted to give him. He did so and I then placed his hands on my stomach and told him to open his eyes. With a puzzled look he said, "What?" I said, "Guess!" His eyes grew wide and with astonishment he exclaimed, "You're pregnant?! Are you sure?" I convinced him that it was true and we just hugged each other and cried. There are no words to describe our joy and gratitude to God for answering our prayers. I'm still in shock...but I will never forget the moment I learned of the existence of my little one. Blessed be God!

February 15, 2001

My dear little one, I am still walking around in a daze. I cannot believe that you are in me! Yesterday I went to the store to buy a few small baby things as a gift for your grandparents. It will be part of how I tell them the news. I also bought a little heart frame to place your first little picture in since you were conceived in love and discovered on a day celebrating love. How I thank God for your existence! It seems almost too good to be true but it IS true. I have been feeling very tired but that is normal since my body is working extra hard to help you grow. I pray God keeps you safe, my little one.

February 17, 2001

My dear little one, we are on our trip to So CA so your daddy and I took the opportunity to tell your Grandma and Grandpa C. and all your new aunts and uncles the wonderful news since it will be awhile until we visit them again. In the afternoon when everyone was here we gave G & G two gifts to open. Your grandpa opened the first box, which contained some treats for the kids. Your grandma was to open the second one (which contained a tiny toy baby doll crib, a stuffed animal puppy, rattle, baby blanket and some board books. There was a little card inside that read " Grandma's and Grandpa's box of toys for their first grandchild".) Grandma opened the box and lifted off the lid. She looked inside and then had a look of shock on her face. She closed her eyes and laid her head on the box. Then she began to cry and hugged me. Your aunts and uncles didn't get it until they too looked in the box and saw G & G crying and hugging me and your daddy. Soon everyone was laughing and cheering. They are all so happy, my little one. They, too, have been waiting for you. They love you and are praying for you. Thank you, my dear Lord and Lady!

February 18, 2001

My dear little one, today dad and I went to Sunday Mass with the family. It was beautiful to kneel there before God knowing that the blessing of new life is in me. I prayed for you and for your health and safety. I worry, my little one, that perhaps God will call you to Him before you are born. I will always love you whether you live 8 weeks in me or 88 years outside of me... but I pray God will allow us to raise you and enjoy your presence for years to come. My heart is always with you, my little one, no matter what happens. Your daddy knows just the right words to comfort me and encourage me to trust God and his goodness.

February 20, 2001

My dear little one, today I called the doctor's office and made an appointment for March 5 at 6pm. It seems like a long way off but that is his usual amount of time to wait. I am a little nervous. All this is so new to me! There are times when I still cannot believe it.

I have been reading my baby books and keeping track of your growth and development. It is amazing just how small you begin at, little one. You are just about the size of period at the end of this sentence. Then slowly you grow larger and larger. It is a wonderful miracle how God is forming you. Be always united with your Creator, my little one. You shall be a joy and comfort to Him! Amen!

February 25, 2001

My dear little one, today we went out to dinner with your Grandma and Grandpa S. We have not yet told them about you. Your Grandma will be very worried until I see the doctor so we will wait until after my appointment, then we will tell them the joyful news! It is hard to keep quiet since I want to shout it from the housetops but I must be patient and wait for God's time.

I have been very tired and a little ill. I haven't had morning sickness other than a little queasiness. I hope that's okay! Your daddy has been taking such good care of me. He has so much love for us, my little one. Wait until you see what a good and holy man he is!

February 28, 2001

My dear little one, today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. I will work hard at overcoming my faults and building virtue so that I may truly be a woman of God. In doing such, I will be a better wife to your father and a better mother to you. God has granted me the blessing of motherhood but with it comes great responsibility and sacrifice. God has slowly been preparing my heart for this moment and now that the time has come I accept this task of love.

Yesterday you turned five weeks old, my little one. Stay strong and healthy. May God protect you always.

March 4, 2001

My dear little one, each day that passes unites my heart even closer to you. I have been having much fear and anxiety about having a miscarriage. I want you so badly, my little one, and I fear this is just too good to be true. At Mass this morning, though, the reading and psalms and songs were about not fearing, turning to God, and trusting that He will watch over us. I must believe that. I must trust in God's Providence, whatever the outcome may be. I pray that Our Lady gives me strength. I will be strong and not worry so much, my little one. I do not want you to sense any of my fears as you are growing in me. How I love you, my little one.

March 5, 2001

My dear little one, today was our first prenatal appointment. I was so nervous and scared! Your Daddy got permission to leave work early so he could be with me. He was such a comfort to me! When I first arrived the nurse took my blood pressure and she said I must be nervous because it was high. She said she's take it again afterwards. The doctor talked to daddy and me and then he examined me. We saw the sonogram for the very first time and there you were so tiny (only 1/2 inch tall) on the screen. The machine said I was only five weeks pregnant but I knew I was just entering my eighth week. The doctor said my uterus agreed with me. He asked me to come back in three weeks to take the ultrasound again then he'll give us a more definite due date. But that didn't matter to me since after the exam and seeing you on the screen and hearing that we were both fine, I was so overjoyed! The nurse took my blood pressure again and the numbers were great. That's because I was so relieved and happy! I cannot tell you how happy I am! And your daddy... he is beaming with joy to see your tiny little body growing in me. We couldn't be more pleased or excited! I feel like now I can relax a little more and not worry so much. I need to feel good for you now, my little one.

Tomorrow we will be sharing the news with Oma and Opa. It will be exciting! But I am very, very tired so I will stop writing. I love you, my little one. Have a restful night.

March 7, 2001

My dear little one, I have found great comfort writing to you and getting to know you while you are still growing in me. Right now I am sitting in the chapel before Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. I pray that your little heart is already beating for His love above all else. It is the love of God that has allowed the miracle of your existence. Never stray from that love...life is meaningless without it.

Last night we went to your Oma and Opa's house to tell them the news. We also gave them a little gift box of baby things. They were speechless and overjoyed! Already they are planning to buy a little crib and make one of their rooms into a nursery to babysit you, my little one. They called your other grandparents and together they laughed and cried with joy. They are all so pleased.

Now today I will tell my friends at work. I am excited yet it is still a little hard to believe. God is so good and gracious. I am struck by his gentle yet mighty power...a power that allows a lowly person like me to have the privilege of carrying a new life in me. Now we will be a reflection of the Holy Trinity. Father & Mother together in their love bring forth you, my little one. It is amazing. Blessed be God in his goodness now and forever!

(Later in the evening.) Well, I shared the wonderful news at work and everyone was incredibly excited and happy for me. It is funny how a new baby - or the news of a new baby- affects people. Deep down people are drawn to the beauty of an innocent and pure new life. It somehow brings us closer to God, the Creator of that life. Blessed be God.

March 8, 2001

My dear little one, the last 24 hours have been some of the most horrid hours of my life. Last night I began to bleed. Daddy and I could not believe it. It was late and I was to see the doctor in the morning. As I lay in bed in your Daddy's arms I realized that God might be taking you away from us. I began to cry and then to sob with such sorrow and heaviness of heart, like I've never felt before. Your Daddy held me and sobbed with me. Sorrow gnawed at me all night as I pleaded with God to have mercy on us and to spare our child. Lastly, though, above all else I asked for the grace to accept God's will, whatever it was.

The next morning my eyes were so swollen I could barely open them. Your Daddy held onto me all night and in the morning there were still tears in his eyes. He loves you deeply as well, my little one. I went to the bathroom to check things out and I had stopped bleeding. Later the doctor told me not to worry and that everything was fine with me and with you, my little one. I was incredibly relieved to hear that. Then when I found out you were okay I was crying with happiness.

Ugh! I feel like an emotional basket case! But more than anything I am so grateful that God has spared you - at least for the time being. I still feel emotionally fragile but God will get me through. Blessed be God. Thank you, my Lord and lady and all the angels and saints!

March 13, 2001

My dear little one, it has been a very pleasant weekend - your Aunt B. & Aunt J. have been here for a visit. It was wonderful to see them again. They are so pleased and excited about you.

Last night, however, I was having a rough time again. The fear from the previous night keeps returning to me. I just lay in bed and cried. I am afraid to be happy about the pregnancy because something could go wrong any minute. It is wrong to think that way but how do I stop it? I pray that Our Blessed Lord helps me and brings peace to my heart. Please intercede for me, my dear lady. I need you I love you, my little one. Pray for your Mama.

March 16, 2001

My dear little one, it is a beautiful morning out today. The sun is shining and the sky is blue. It will be a lovely day. I am in the Adoration Chapel right now. I have been praying to Our Lord but I am feeling tired and sleepy so I began to write to keep me awake! Your Daddy is kneeling next to me and is deep in prayer. He is such a good and holy man, my little one. I pray that you will have a strong and spiritual heart for God, as your Daddy does.

I talked to my mom, your Grandma C, the other day about my fear of losing you. She said that it is natural to feel that way. But she reminded me that I need to concentrate on enjoying your presence in me every day. She said that whether God takes you away tomorrow, in a few months or in 75 years, I will always be your Mama. She said I must enjoy and cherish every moment with you and not allow worries or fears distract from this special time. Something of what she said clicked in me and made sense. I love you, my little one, and I want to cherish every moment with you. Blessed be God in his goodness.

March 20, 2001

My dear little one, today you have turned eight weeks old and I am entering my 10th week of pregnancy. This is a special week for you, my child! You are a whopping 1 ½ inches! Perhaps that doesn't seem like much but it is when you consider that just two months ago you were the size of the period at the end of this sentence. You are becoming more and more real to me, my little one, and I can't wait until I can feel you move in me. May God protect you and strengthen you always. I love you.

March 25, 2001

My dear little one, it is Sunday evening and Daddy and I are just about to leave for Oma and Opa's house for dinner. They are getting more and more excited about you, little one. Oma is curious to know if you will have curly hair like your mommy.

Grandma & Grandpa and the family are also eager for your arrival. They sent you a gift last week. They gave you a little "Jubilee Year" bear and a wooden baby rosary and tiny baby nail clippers. I'm afraid you'll be showered with many gifts, little one. But remember, the gift of God's love is most precious! I love you.

March 26, 2001

My dear little one, today the Church celebrates the beautiful feast of the Annunciation (since the 25th was a Sunday this year). We honor our most Blessed Mother in a special way for her humble "fiat" - I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done to me according to your word. I give special thanks to Our Lady for her continued guidance and intercession. It was shortly after a special prayer made to Our Lady in Rome that we were finally able to conceive you, my little one. God is so good.

March 30, 2001

My dear little one, today is already Friday. This week has gone by so quickly! That means that you are almost another week older, little one. I went to the doctor's Monday evening and Dr. V took another ultrasound to check your size. We saw you on the screen with your heart beating strongly! It is still hard to believe that you are growing in me! I love you, my little one.

April 15, 2001

My dear little one, Happy Easter to you! Today is the beautiful feast of Our Lord's Resurrection. Daddy and I went to Mass this morning with you snug inside of me. It's funny because Daddy reminded me that by next Easter we will be attending Mass with you in our arms. What a wonderful thought...this is the last time we will attend Easter Mass alone. Next year you will be there too, my little one. I love you!

April 24, 2001

My dear little one, today Daddy and I went to the doctor's for another check up. We were so excited because we were able to hear you for the first time. Nurse C. had me lay down. Then she got ready to put the little machine on my stomach. She warned us that sometimes it is hard to hear anything or that it takes awhile to find the heartbeat. Well, she placed the machine on me and there you were loud and strong saying good morning with your powerful heartbeat! We're so excited and happy, our little one. We love you!

April 30, 2001

My dear little one, this weekend we have been visiting Grandma & Grandpa and all your aunts and uncles! Fr. M came visited us at the house and gave us a very special blessing. He prayed over me and said special prayers for me that I would be a holy mother to you. Then he prayed for you that you would be blessed and love the Lord always. I was very beautiful, my little one. Your Papa and I love you so much, we can't wait until we can hold you in our arms!

May 13, 2001

My dear little one, thanks to you, today I celebrated my first Mother's Day because you have made me a mama! Yesterday Daddy sent me flowers at work to congratulate me. They are very beautiful and very special because this is my first mother's day! When we went to Mass today a little girl was standing outside the door handing flowers to all the moms. Although I wasn't holding a baby she gave me one too. God knows that you're growing inside me and that I am your mama. How thankful I am! I love you, my little one.

July 6, 2001

My dear little one, this morning I was reading through the pages of my journal. It's amazing how quickly time is going! I am six months pregnant and you, my little one, have grown to eight inches long! Just think, in four short months I will be holding you in my arms! Right now I am in the Adoration Chapel on First Friday and in a few short months I will be here once again with you in my arms. Together we will be praying to Our Lord besides your Daddy. I've begun singing the Hail Mary and Gentle Woman to you in the morning. I want you to also have a great love for Our Lady. I love you, my little one.

July 16, 2001

My dear little one, this weekend your daddy and I stayed with your Grandma and Grandpa and the family. It has been a wonderful weekend and everyone was excited to see my growing belly with you inside! On Sunday you and I were given a baby shower by all our friends in So. Calif. It was so beautifully done! It looked like a wedding reception! We received so many generous gifts! Everyone is so happy for us and so eager to welcome you into the world, my little one. I love you very much.

July 25, 2001

My dear little one, I have special thanks to give to God for the other night was the first time I felt you kick my hand! I have felt you moving around in me for some time but this is the first I felt it so strong. And again last night as I was sitting on the couch you kicked the hand I had placed on my stomach. It was so wonderful and such a joyous feeling. Now I just need you to kick while Daddy's there so he can feel it too! I love you, my little one.

August 18, 2001

My dear little one, today your mommy is celebrating her birthday. I was thinking this morning that two years ago I celebrated my first birthday as an engaged woman. Then a year ago my first birthday as a married woman. This year? My first birthday as a mother carrying her child within her. I have sooo much to be thankful for - my life, God's love and mercy, my dear husband and his love, the fruit of that love - our little baby, my family...the list could go on forever. Thank you, my dear Lord, for all your goodness and kindness to me.

August 27, 2001

My dear little one, today we attended our third birthing class. We were given a tour of the birthing center where I will give birth to you, my little one. I feel much better getting used to the surrounding of the hospital; it makes me feel less nervous about what will take place during your birth! While we were there we saw in the nursery window a little baby that had just been born and was being checked by the nurse. It brought a tear to my eye to think that soon it will be you who is born into the world. How I can hardly wait to hold you, my little one! I love you!

September 3, 2001

My dear little one, I'm amazed at how active you have been in me. You don't kick as much as you used to but now it feels like you are doing somersaults. My stomach rolls and moves up and down as you move inside me. You are a strong one, my little one. I love you so much.

September 11, 2001

My dear little one, today has been a tragic day for our nation. There has been a terrorist attack in New York and many, many people lost their lives because of it. My heart is broken, my little one, and I cannot stop crying in grief for not only those who died but for all those that were left behind. I think of how much I love your Daddy and you, my little one, and how devastated I would be had something happened to either one of you. But I must put it form my mind right now. I must concentrate on the new life within me and not let my sadness effect you, my little one. I must see you as an answer of hope and joy to all the sorrow and pain our nation is feeling now. May God bless and strengthen us all.

September 28, 2001

My dear little one, I've been feeling better, trying to focus on you and your arrival. So many people have been so generous to you - we've already been to three baby showers and tomorrow is the last one at Oma's. Your Grandma & Grandpa C. and your Uncle Rob drove to Carmel to spend the weekend with me. I've been having a lot of Braxton Hick (the practice) contractions. They are coming more often but are too sporadic to worry about. Everyone says it is normal! I just hope they don't stay this strong until you're born! We still have almost a month to go. I can't believe that in a few short weeks I'll really be holding you! I can't wait! I love you, my little one!

September 29, 2001

My dear little one, I am in shock!! You surprised us all! This (Saturday) morning at 9:35am you entered the world!! My dear little one, I can now call you my sweet little Isabella Rose Marie...a little girl! I am so happy! You are so tiny but so beautiful! I can't believe it - it all went so quickly! Ha, and today is your baby shower! Well, now it's a birthday party! I am in shock! But I am oh so happy! I will give you all the details later, my little Isabella. I love you!

October 1, 2001

My sweet Isabella, today I am officially discharged from the hospital although I won't be leaving yet. The nurses are keeping me around as long as possible so I can spend my time with you in the nursery. I am still reeling over everything! Let me tell your birth story now while it is still fresh in my head.

On the Thursday before you were born I began noticing more practice contractions than usual. They continued into Friday but were brief and sporadic. I remember shopping at Costco and stopping for a moment to feel a contraction. But I continued my day and waited for your Grandma and Grandpa C. and Uncle R. to come. I was so happy when they arrived and chatted with them while I cooked dinner. At this point the contractions were getting stronger and my back was feeling it more but they were still sporadic so I thought nothing of them.

That evening after dinner we drove over to your Grandma & Grandpa to Oma & Opa's house where they would be staying for the weekend. Grandma S. showed me the rooms that had been decorated for the baby shower the next morning. Everything looked so pretty! However, the pains were getting stronger and I had to sit so I told daddy that I'd better go home and get some rest. I was very tired that night, although every once in awhile a contraction would wake me. I was a bit worried but since they weren't close enough to call the doctor (I thought) that I tried to sleep them off. By early morning the contractions were getting stronger and Daddy was getting worried and wanted to call the doctor. I agreed.

While your Daddy got out of bed, a big contraction hit me and my water broke. Now I was scared because I knew that meant that I was going into labor NOW. Daddy came over and comforted me and told me not to worry. He called the doctor while I went into the bathroom to get dressed. Your Uncle Rob, who was asleep in the front room, woke up and grabbed my bags and put them in the car. However, getting out the door was almost impossible because the contractions were very intense and coming every 2 - 3 minutes. When a contraction came I had to stop and hold onto something and breathe though it. I could feel you in me pressing down and then slightly rising back up once the contraction was over. I tried to quickly hobble out the door and down the apartment stairs before the next one came. I just barely made it!

Thankfully the hospital was only minutes away and I was there quickly. Uncle Rob and Daddy walked me to the birthing center section although I had to stop once on my way to get though another contraction. Daddy and Uncle Rob rubbed my back and told me that I was doing a good job. That gave me the strength to hurry to the admittance desk.

After a few minutes I was finally in my hospital gown lying down on the birthing bed. The nurse was trying to ask me questions but I had a hard time talking since I was breathing through a contraction. She then noticed that I was leaking a lot of water so she checked me to see how I was doing. She was surprised to find that I was already 10 cm dilated - but not as surprised as I was! She quickly called in Dr. V who checked me and said that you were ready to come out now. The nurses and the room had not been ready for this stage of birth so they ran around like crazy putting on their gowns, getting their tools and preparing the room.

I watched them all in shock - this was it. I was anticipating long hours of labor in a hospital using all the labor tools we packed in our bags and here I was, ready to push. My head was full of so many emotions and I would have been really scared if it hadn't been for your Daddy. He was so loving and supportive; his encouragement helped me to focus and stay calm.

Dr. V took care of the last minute details to get my body ready then he had me push down as hard as I could. I did 2 or 3 times before he announced that he could see the head. Daddy could see you coming out and he just kept saying, "ohmygosh, ohmygosh" then with one more strong push, out you came! Dr. V said, "It's a girl!" I couldn't believe it! I had just given birth to a baby girl! From the ultrasound we saw before you were born, the doctor guessed that you were a boy. We assumed we were having a boy, although whenever I prayed for you I automatically said "she" not "he". I guess my heart knew deep down that the little one inside me was my precious little daughter! I was so happy!

After the doctor cleaned your mouth out and heard you cry, they immediately checked you over at a little side table. Since you were born a month early you were still rather small weighing only 3 lb. 12 oz and 17" long. Although small, the doctor said you are healthy and feisty. (Daddy says that you're feisty because you're a warrior for Christ, born on the feast of the Archangels!) However, you had to be taken right away to the nursery to be placed in an incubator so you could be given the special care you needed.

Meanwhile Grandma & Grandpa, Uncle Rob and Opa were waiting outside for the great news. Although you arrived early it was a great blessing that you came while Grandma & Grandpa were in town! By the blessing of God I was able to have my mom and dad with me at this most special time of my life...the birth of my beautiful and precious girl, my little Isabella. I love you, my sweet little one!

The day of your birth, little one, filled everyone with excitement and joy. (I'm still in shock!) All your Grandparents were overjoyed and Uncle Rob called the family at home and they cheered and thanked God. Meanwhile Oma was greeting all the guests for the baby shower telling them that the "guest of honor" was detained and the party was now a birthday celebration! Haha!

After the birth I showered and cleaned up and was eager to hold you for the first time. You are so tiny, my little one, but already so beautiful! Although Daddy and I can't have you in the room with us I am able to nurse you and we are spending every minute we can with you while you get better in your incubator. I have asked Grandma C to stay with me this week while you are in the hospital. She was so pleased that I asked because she wants to be here with you and help us out so Daddy and I can spend as much time as we can with you. I will do all I can not to leave you, my little Isabella. I love you!

October 2, 2001

My dear little Isabella, this evening has been very difficult for me. It is so hard to see the other moms with their babies as they leave the hospital to go home. It deeply pains me that you must be separated from me. For eight months I carried you moving within me. Now I feel so alone and empty without you. I know you are only down the hall in the nursery with the nurses but I want you in my arms at home with your Daddy. I can't stop the tears...I pray God gives me strength to get through this.

October 6, 2001

My dear little Isabella, today you are 1 week old! Was it really just a week ago that you entered into the world? It seems so very long ago! You are still in the hospital but we are hopeful that next week you will be discharged. You are steadily gaining weight and breathing better. Keep it up, my little one, and then we'll be home soon!

October 10, 2001

My dear little one, the day you Daddy and I have been praying for is finally here! We have taken you from the hospital (where the nurses were wonderful!) and now we are home! Daddy took off the afternoon and met me at the hospital. We spent an hour trying to figure out your car seat but we finally did it! It felt funny not to wake up and see you in the hospital but rather to have in our little home. I am so happy! I must admit, though, that I am also scared - there are no more nurses around to keep an eye on me and see if I'm doing things okay. It's just me, you and Daddy, little one! Actually it was blessing in disguise that we had so much "practice time" in taking care of you in the hospital. I feel more comfortable now on my own.

It is so strange...sometimes I still can't believe that you are my little baby! It all seems so unreal. And sometimes I worry...will you love me and know that I am your mama? You spent so much time with the other nurses that I hope I am not just another nameless face to you that gives you food. I know it is silly but, my little Bella, just let me know that you love me and know that I am your mommy!

October 18, 2001

My dear little one, this week Daddy stayed home from work to be with you and help me. This is such a special time for us. I feel very close to Daddy and love him very much. It is so beautiful and miraculous that by the grace of God our love has created a new beautiful life - our little Bella, or as we affectionately call you "our little Peanut". How we love you!

October 28, 2001

My dear little Bella, today, the day before your one-month birthday, you have celebrated a very special day - your baptism! You are a child of God on the road to heaven! All your aunts and uncles and G&G C. are spending the weekend here. They are so happy and excited to see you for the first time/again! The ceremony itself was beautiful with Fr. E at the Carmel Mission. We have so much to be thankful for, my dear little one! All praise to Our God!

November 9, 2001

My sweet Bella, each day I am learning more and more about being a mom! I am still trying to get used to the breastfeeding and you prefer to sleep in my arms, which makes showering and cleaning a little difficult! You are pretty mellow in the day but in the evening you get cranky! You will cry and cry until I am crying! I am told it is normal for newborns so I guess you'll grow out of it eventually. I just want to keep you happy and content!

My favorite moments with you are at night when you sleep in my arms in our bed. Sometimes I will lie awake at night just to watch you sleep so peacefully in my arms. You're so tiny and so beautiful! I love you, my little peanut! Thank you, my dear Lord for the gift of motherhood! Amen.

Postscript

August 2002

It's been awhile since I've made long entries into my journal. There has been no time! Things have been hectic, especially with the recent move to our new home but it has been worth it. I love our little place and it will be much better for Bella to have a little more room to roam around. She is such a joy in our lives! She is loving & full of energy. Her inquisitiveness never ceases to amaze me (although Brian says she is just nosy like her mother!) and it troubles me that she will grow up thinking that her name is "No, Bella!" haha!

Ay, so much has happened over this last year and a half...some tears, a lot of laughs, and countless blessings. We' ve started a whole new chapter of our lives and the three of us are eager to see where God leads us in the months and years to come. Blessed be God forever!

January 2012

My little peanut Bella is now 10 years old and is growing up to be a beautiful young lady and wonderful big sister to her three younger brothers! She is still the sunshine to my heart and will always be my little baby. I love you, my Sweetie Girl.

I was late in watching this week's episode of The Gist but I was able to watch it today before tomorrow's new show airs (Wednesday at 7:30 AM Pacific.) The 1/18/12 show was about meal planning and confession. Sort of a strange pairing but I enjoyed it none the less. ;-)

If you missed the show you can see it here. Below are a few comments I had.

Meal Planning

It was fun hearing the ladies talk about their meal planning/feeding the family adventures. Sometimes we think that these amazing Catholic moms must have it sooooooo together yet they are facing the same challenges we do. (The occasional chocolate chip cereal and Chinese take out? Love it.)

For my meal planning it has still been working really well using my menu board. I usually plan my meals on Sunday allowing for at least one leftovers day and one eat out day. With a magnetic meal board I can easily switch meals around to another day when something unexpected pops up.

I also have a recipe folder/binder that was a complete shambles (shocker, I know!) but I have been working on organizing it I have my tried and true recipes handy and new recipes I want to try ready to go. If I have time later this week I'll post my before and after pics.

As for getting picky kids to eat better, I don't have any quick solutions. Since Bella was a baby she was an excellent eater and loved all sorts of fruits and veggies (Even brussel sprouts! I don't even like those.) However, the boys have been much pickier. Andrew loves roasted chicken but won't eat pasta or hotdogs. (What kid does not like spaghetti or hotdogs??) His only fruit is apples (and orange juice) and his only veggie is carrots. I've got to sneak veggie in meatballs and baked bread. I recently bought him that V8 veggie/fruit juice to help him get more of his veggies. I am getting desperate! As for JP, he could live on a continental breakfast all day long - fruit, cheese, bread, yogurt and eggs. I guess technically that's all the main food groups. Do you have any tips that work for your picky eaters?

I was thinking about trying this book - Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food by Jessica Seinfeld. Any of you use this book?

Confession

The second half of the show was about Confession. I was happy to see Lino Rulli on the show. I've heard him a few times on his Catholic Guy radio show and I think he is hilarious on Twitter so it was fun to see him on The Gist.

I've finally reached a point where Confession is not scary anymore. I try to go at the very least, once a month and I can always tell when I am about due. In fact, yesterday I was having a horrible day. The kind of day where I am so angry and frustrated that I literally have to walk out of the room and take a deep breath before I lose it or break down in a ball and sob. Part of it was due from my lack of sleep with the kids being sick and Matthew up at night teething but I could also hear that voice in my head telling me that I need the grace of confession to recharge my batteries. I looked at the calendar and yep, it has been one month. So come Saturday morning, you'll know where to find me - in line for confession.

Have a good night!

B.

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

Last week I mentioned that I was planning on purchasing the book The World of Downton Abbey. I did get it and I love it. The photography is beautiful and it is interesting to read about how the life and times were back then - from the society in general and the war to fashions and the protocol of romantic relationships. It is perfect reading while I m waiting for the next episode to air.

While I have been obsessing over Downton Andrew there is another obsession brewing in our house since I hear this song everyday, several times a day.

Andrew, my four year old, has replaced his love of Pixar's Cars with Spiderman. The other day I bought him a pair of Spiderman pajamas and I had no idea the drama I was inviting into the house because now the only thing he wants to wear are those pj's! He was really upset that he could not wear them to school (in the rain) and I finally convinced him that during the day he had to bundle up and be Peter Parker and keep his Spidey identity "secret." When he got home then he could change into his Spiderman outfit. He finally agreed. So now every day after preschool he runs through the door and whips off his regular clothes and jumps into his Spidey pj's. Great. (Did I also mention that I had to go back to the store and buy another pair of the pj's so I could wash them in between crime fighting?)

Hmmm...on top of it all, Spidey's mom needs to give him a haircut.

Well, living with a boy that dresses like Spiderman isn't really a big deal but I felt so sorry for the little guy the other day. He walked into the kitchen with a roll of masking tape. He wanted me to help him tapes his hands to the wall so he could climb it like Spiderman. I told him he was too heavy and that tape wouldn't hold him. He said okay and ran out of the room. He came back with a gluestick. Surely the double strength of masking tape and a glue stick would hold him. I again explained that it wouldn't work. After several renditions of "It won't work" and "Yeah it do, Mom" he finally got the message. Poor Spidey accepted defeat and went to his room with tears running down his face. He broke my heart so I set dinner aside to help him find a solution. Not having monkey bars in the house I told him to play Spiderman under his bunk bed. There are several rungs above his bed and under top bunk bed. He could grab one rung and pretend to swing while he grabbed another. He was overjoyed. So I'm temporarily in the clear until he decides to jump off the top bunk onto his brother/Dr. Octopus. (I am sure anyone with boys or spunky girls can relate.)

Well, besides all the in-house crime fighting it has been rather a slow week. The kids got sick last weekend with colds and while Bella and Andrew got over it in a day or two little Matthew is still sick and has been extra clingy - to the point where he screams his head off when I put him down for a minute. Ugh. I told Brian I am having a hard time getting my work done since he just wants to be held. He told me not to worry and just give him the TLC he needs. Okay, but I told Brian that if he runs out of clean clothes he'll have to borrow one of Andrew's Spidey outfits.

On the plus side I have been able to get online much more often than normal. (Even now I am doing the one-hand typing thing while Matthew is resting in my arms.) For this quick take I'll link up a few of my favorite articles/posts that I've read this week.

It seems that contentment, thriving where you are in life, and not putting yourself down when you feel like you are barely surviving life with little ones is a common theme this week.

Comparison Kills Contentment {Catholic Mothers Online Post} by Misty

Moms of Young Children: The Time to Thrive Is Now by Jennifer Fulwiler

Thriving! Who does God want you to be? by Arwen Mosher

Don't Carpe Diem by Glennon Melton

Lastly, if you didn't see my previous post already, check out the interview with Mark Wahlberg where he talks about his Catholic faith.

Okay, Matty is finally asleep so I am going to put him to bed and pray he sleeps long enough for me to load the dishwasher and get some laundry done. Spiderman needs some clean pj's.

Have a great weekend!

xoxo,
B.

Each week, Catholic personalities Danielle Bean, Rachel Balducci and Carolee McGrath host The Gist. They discuss topics such as abortion, raising teens in the faith and confession. Along with guests such as Martin Sheen, Emilio Estevez, Lino Rulli and others, they will give Catholic women the gist on everything from faith and the Church to exercising, make-up and how to stay sane. Tune in every Wednesday morning for a new show at 10:30 with rebroadcasts Thursday at 8:30 p.m., Friday at 4 p.m., Saturday at 6:30 a.m., Monday at 8 a.m. and Tuesday at 10 p.m. (all times Eastern).

I missed the first show since it is on at 7:30 AM in Cali and I'm usually in the middle of getting kids off to school. However, it is rebroadcast during the week and available to view online. If you missed it, I've added it here. Below I've also added my own comments about the show.

It was wonderful to watch these great Catholic women and moms. I feel like I already "know" them from reading their blogs and columns. There was a lot to be learned and here are a few things that struck a cord with me.

Topic - Working moms.

My take - Danielle said it best, "All moms are working moms." Being a SAHM, I say, "Amen, sister!"

Topic - Comparing ourselves to others.

I loved Rachel's comment, "The only people you can truly analyze is yourself and your situation..."

My take - It is so easy to look at other moms and see how much they are doing and think, how do they do it? It will sometimes make me feel guilty that I am not doing enough. But I have to remember that we are each in different situations and have our own unique vocation as a wife and mother. As long as we are open to God, He will direct us to exactly where we need to be. He'll often challenge us but He won't overwhelm us. If we are overwhelmed we may need to ask, "Am I doing more than I should be and spreading myself too thin?" If not, then ask, "Am I relying on God for my strength or on myself?" (Sigh. Been there. Done that.)

Topic - How do you do it all?

When Danielle asked guest speaker Lisa Hendey, "How do you do it all?" Lisa replied, "If I think about everything that I do in a day, it's too overwhelming. So I start my day with prayer...and that's a key component throughout the day. Praying just for the grace and the energy and the strength to do it all and really, I just do my best with whatever pot that is burning right in front of me...managing the priorities, looking at how I can be of help to other people and most importantly serving my parish and my family."

My take - Prayer, Priorities, Serving family first but not forgetting others. Enough said!

Topic - Lisa talked about saints being role models, intercessors and heroes of our family.

My take - Often when I hear about the saints I wonder how I can relate to them because, well, they are saints. But really, they weren't born with halos on their head. They had the same kind of human struggles we do. They had to fight their personal demons and rely on God to give them the strength to live holy lives. I can certainly learn from that! (Side note; I am in the middle of reading Lisa's book The Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul and I am eager to also check out her new book A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms: 52 Companions for Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul.)

Topic - Prayer

In the next topic they ladies spoke about the importance of prayer in our daily lives and I love what Rachel said, "Right off the bat, establishing that our prayer life is the most important thing and I think as moms we can so easily justify and rationale away taking time to pray because laundry needs to be done, and lunches need to be made and children need to be cared for, but really, personal holiness and a relationship with God is the most important gift we can give our families."

My take - I am guilty of this all too often! There is always something that needs to be done and although there are times when I can pray as I work, there also needs to be time when I quiet myself and simply focus on God. Some days it may only be for a few minutes but I must be willing to make the effort and establish the priority. Certainly if I have to time to post on my blog, pin an idea on Pinterest or watch a favorite tv show, then I certainly have time to shut it all down and give God a little silence.

Topic - The rosary and adoration.

My take - I love Carolee's comparison of the rosary and exercise. Both are things we tend to want to put off yet both are important to our health (physical and spiritual) and we'll feel better after we are done! And Danielle's thought on Adoration reminded me that just as I ask Brian to watch the kids so I can run to the market alone, I can ask Brian to watch the kids so I can stop at the chapel and speak to God in his presence alone. (And I know he is more than wiling to do it!)

Topic - Family prayer.

My take - This should be a show topic itself! I already commented on this briefly in another post but a number of families I know pray the rosary every night with their kids. I commend them! For us, it has not worked out very well, but rather than forget the whole thing, we've adjusted it to our family needs. Instead, we try to say the rosary but with only one decade. Some nights we're lucky just to gather us all together for a quick night prayer but we do what we can. Each family is different and their needs change as the family grows. The main thing is to be doing something.

Last Thoughts

With that said, I really recommend that you watch the show yourself. At first I was a little reluctant to devote time to it since the topic was on working moms but that was just a small portion of it. There were many topics discussed. On the one hand, it seemed like too many topics. Maybe there could have been less topics and more time spent on one or two subjects. (It seems like the saints, personal prayer or family prayer could have been their own shows.) On the other hand, the flow of conversation carried into many different topics and they commented accordingly. Either way, I really enjoyed the show and actually watched it twice. The second time around is when God impressed certain things on my heart and for that I am thankful.

So thanks, Gist Girls. I look forward to watching you again next week!

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

Is it true it's already December 23? It's hard to believe but that's what the calendar says. At least I've been able to count down the day with this really cute kitchen advent calendar. It is a magnetic mini cookie sheet tray that I hung on the fridge. (I found it at Hallmark.) I love it. :-)

Thankfully we are all over our colds, except for a random sneeze here and there. I usually never get sick when the kids do, but it got me this time...

It all started two weeks ago when I was going to do a quick post about making a big pot of soup and freezing individual servings so I can easily have a hot lunch on these busy days. I made a pot of one of my favorite Chicken Posole soups and froze individual servings in Ziploc freezer bags. I've had it numerous times but this day I forgot to take out the soup the night before to defrost in the fridge. Instead I took it out in the morning, snapped a photo for my post and then let it defrost on the sink.

Maybe I left it on the sink too long. Or it could have been because I warmed it in the microwave then forgot about it for awhile. Whatever the reason, when I finally finished eating the soup I started to feel a little sick...then more sick...then I-hope-I-remembered-to-sign-my-will sick. I had food poisoning. Ugh!

This all took place while the kids were sick with a nasty cold that seemed to take forever to clear up. Normally I am used to being sneezed on (usually right in the face while I'm talking so the germs can head straight into my mouth.) And I've learned to live my life as a human Kleenex. I'm not exaggerating. A kid will walk up to me and literally wipe his snot nose against my pant leg leaving a huge slime trail on my leg. Ah, the glamour if motherhood. Normally, I throw a fit shrug it off but with the food poisoning all my defenses were down and those nasty germs were going to make up for all the times I avoided them. The cold wasn't too bad but I swear (TMI alert) the stuff coming out of my nose was straight from an alien horror movie.

Thankfully the cold didn't last too long but the plugged up nose and pressure stuffed head wouldn't go away. On top of it all, I lost all sense of smell. Perhaps it wasn't a huge deal but I am big on smells. I could live without smelling the Christmas delights like fresh pine and baked goods. What troubled me is that I couldn't smell when the toast was burning. I couldn't smell the questionable milk to see if it was still good. Matthew wore a stinky diaper for hours because I didn't notice he stunk until Brian came home from work and told me. And have you ever tried to shop for perfume when you can't smell?? I was in the department store snorting a bottle of fragrance when the saleslady suspiciously asked me if I needed help. I resigned to my fate and simply picked out the prettiest looking bottle hoping it wasn't actually gag-inducing.

Then it happened. A couple days later I woke up and heard Matthew pushing and "doing his business" in bed. As I laid in bed and waited for him to be done so I could change him, I slowly started to smell the stench. I jumped out of bed and took a big whiff of his behind. Man, I was never so excited to smell a stinky diaper in all my life. I could smell again! And the heavens rejoiced. So it seemed.

Anyway, did I really spend all seven takes talking out food poisoning, snot, and poop? Wow. That's sad, Bobbi. Oh, well. Let us rejoice in the small crosses in life. Compared to what could be going wrong, that is nothing. God is good!

Have a blessed Christmas!!! xoxo :-)

(Although this isn't posted until now, I wrote it this morn. ;-)

It's 5:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep since 4am. Matthew woke me up and he needed to be changed and fed. Since his bed is right next to mine I can usually do this quickly and fall right back to sleep, but not this morning.

Since it's nice and cozy in my bed snuggled between my baby and my hubby I pulled out my iPhone (yes, I sleep with it) and opened up my google reader to find a ridiculous amount of posts waiting to be read. I must admit that although it is insanely early, it is so nice to be able to just relax and catch up on the news and activities of my fellow Catholic moms. I always find inspiration, humor and a little pep talk when I need it most.

God has a way of giving you exactly what you need when you need it.

As I was reading certain posts it brought to mind my experience at Confession on Saturday. It had been a rough couple of weeks and I could feel my insides all tied up in knots and stressed. I knew I had to make the most of this last week of Advent and Confession was the first step. After telling my sins to the priests he spoke to me about a few things but what struck me was his reminder that God's gifts to me this Christmas are my husband and my children, despite any personal difficulties I may have in being a good wife and mother. It's not as if I don't already know that but it was as if my life flashed before my eyes and I saw a quick glimpse of how blessed I am and how much I take for granted. It moved me to tears. These tears were just what I needed since, coupled with God's grace, they washed away all the muck in my soul and refreshed my spirit. It was just what I needed.

Of course, those moments after confession are like the moments after a retreat. You are gung ho "on the mountaintop" with Jesus but once you return to the real world, life can dampen your resolve. However, God gave me a quick reminder of Saturday's lesson at four in the morning when I read It is not the will of your heavenly Father that one of these little ones be lost by Kate Wicker. She spoke about whether or not we should bring our rambunctious younger children to Mass. I'm not entering that debate right now but what stood out most for me was this paragraph:

Yet, I kept thinking about a recent post over at Rosetta Stone. (I know I should have been paying more attention to Mass, but it was enough for me to be thinking about anything besides strangling my toddler.) Michelle wrote that, "Nothing compares to a three-year-old boy. Nothing." I'm not going to start comparing who is harder - girls or boys. I loved what someone wrote after an older post of mine that wherever you're at and whatever you've been given is probably the hardest for you. If God is trying to prune us and sanctify us through the vocation of parenthood, then it makes sense that He gives us just the kind of children we need - the kind that will push our buttons and throw us down to our knees and force us to realize that we cannot, absolutely cannot, do this on our own. We need Him. We need to keep a constant dialogue open with God throughout our days. Even when we find ourselves questioning everything about God - whether we'll ever have a personal relationship with Him, whether He even really exists or cares deeply, profoundly about us and our children - we have to keep talking. We don't have to pray like others pray. We have to pray as we pray. Sometimes we have to simply show up - and stay put once we've arrived even if every part of us is screaming to just go, escape, get the heck out of there before you or your child really loses it [at Mass].

"If God is trying to prune us and sanctify us through the vocation of parenthood, then it makes sense that He gives us just the kind of children we need..." I love that. It is so true. Our vocation is tailor made with small crosses (or big) that will sanctify us and lead us along our path to heaven. And we are never, never alone on our journey. We just have to always keep our eyes and hearts set on the Lord. Thank God that He is so patient with us and never stops reminding us and sending us what we need when we need it.