7 quick takes: February 2012 Archives

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.(Welcome back, Jen!)

When It Rains It Pours - Yesterday was a crazy day with everything happening at once! First, as you may have seen in this week's {pretty, happy, funny, real}, we had a problem with the drainage of our washing machine. The water flooded the laundry room and poured out onto the carpet. On a "normal" day I would be in the kitchen and could see/hear if something was amiss in the laundry room but Matthew just happened to have (excuse the TMI) an explosive diaper and it was so bad he had to be put in the bath tub immediately. So while I was busy in the back of the house taking care of that, the flooding happened. Luckily Brian came home soon after and between the two of us we were able to fix the drained clog and clean up all the water but the carpets were still sloshy.

Plug Your Nose - Yesterday I woke up and as I walked down the hallway I was met with a horrendous stench - it was the smell of "wet rags" but multiplied since that whole section of carpet that was waterlogged. We called the guys who have worked on our carpets before and they just happened to be in our area and came over within an hour. They pulled up the carpet and inspected the damage. We have to replace the carpet padding but thankfully the floorboards weren't damaged and the carpet doesn't need to be replaced. We have to keep the blowers running over the weekend, which will be interesting with little kids in the house. On Monday they'll be back to clean the carpets and get the smell out. I hope it works because right now it stinks to high heaven in here. Ew.

What? - Yesterday, I also had to take John-Paul to get his hearing tested, a normal procedure when you start speech therapy. It turns out that he is having trouble hearing from his right ear. There is fluid in his ear and they are not sure if it is because he's been nursing a cold for a couple weeks or if it has been there for awhile. I have to go back in a month for him to take another test. If the fluid has drained then it was most likely from his cold. If the fluid is still there then they'll have to insert tiny tubes to help it drain out. It could also be part of the reason he is not speaking well. He may be having trouble hearing correctly. Either way, we just have to wait and see what happens at the next test.

Patience, Please - There were a number of other mishaps to happen yesterday but it would take too much time to explain now. Suffice to say that I am glad it is Lent because every time I was about to lose it and go postal get slightly perturbed I turned my mind to Christ and begged for his grace. It was a good lesson for me to have a better attitude while carrying these little crosses.

More Lent Ideas - Speaking of Lent, my sister EL had some fabulous Lenten projects and ideas. I especially love the Lent wreath she made. If you need a little inspiration, go over there and check it out Lent Crafts for 2012 and Portable Outdoor Stations of the Cross.

The Martha Stewart of Party Planning- And speaking of my sister EL and great ideas, she also posted about my nephew's Thomas the Train birthday party. I did a Thomas party once for Bella when she going through her Thomas phase but it was not nearly as cute as this one. So if you are thinking of a Thomas party, then visit Thomas the Train Party for some great ideas.

I Heart Magazines - Lastly, I was so bummed when Faith and Family stopped publishing their magazine and I was unconvinced that Catholic Digest would be just as good. This week I received the new Catholic Digest and I'm happy to say that I looove it! I haven't finished reading it yet but what I have seen so far is great! There are articles from some of my favorite Catholic women - Hallie Lord, Danielle Bean, Simcha Fisher, Rachel Balducci, Lisa Hendey, Kate Wicker, Daria Sockey and many more. Brian was a little bummed because he said it was a women's magazine, even though I told him there were some articles for men. I don't think he was convinced but in the meantime I'll be enjoying it. If you haven't subscribed yet, you can do so here. (By the way, Mom, if you aren't already subscribed I'm sending you and the fam a gift sub. :-)

That's it for today. Have a wonderful weekend!!

(Usually hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.) This week hosted by Hailey at Betty Beguiles.com.

Until Next Year, Dear Downton - It's been a busy week and these Quick Takes will be perfect to catch you up. For Valentine's Day Brian got me the Downton Abbey Season 2 Blu-ray. We were so excited to finish the series. It was a Valentine treat! I won't tell you what happens but if you don't want even a hint then please skip to the next Quick Take. This episode wasn't as emotional as others have been but there were two moments when I reached for a hankie - one was sad tears and one was happy tears. Brian thought this episode was a little anti-climatic but I think that was because one major storyline was resolved but a number of other storylines were not. After all, Season 3 needs drama too. The one thing I did not enjoy was the various Ouija board scenes. We could have done without that. But all in all it was a great season and I can't wait for season 3!

That's Amore - Speaking of Valentines, I was looking through a box of mementos looking for an old cassette tape of Dean Martin's greatest hits. (Yes, I am so old I can remember when we used to have ghetto blasters and Walkmans!) I wanted to find it because when Brian and I were married for our honeymoon we went on a road trip to Northern California and we played that tape over and over again. (There are a number of greatest hits CD's but none of them had the exact songs from that cassette.) Whenever I hear Return to Me or You Belong to Me or Memories Are Made of These I can't help but think of our courtship, our long distance relationship, our honeymoon etc. (Music can be powerful like that - transporting you to the places that your memories hold!) I know he loved that tape and I wanted to find the list of songs from it so I could download them for him. I burned a CD that he could listen to in his car or download into his iPod. He was so touched and excited. :-)

Love "Letters" - I also found in my treasure box a collection of love letters - the traditional hand written ones but also old blank cassettes that were "letter tapes" that Brian and I made when we were dating. We lived 400 miles from each other and we tried a number of things to bring us closer. We each had small tape recorders and we'd leave them in our cars. Whenever we were in the car (at the time I was commuting to San Diego a few days a week) we'd turn the recorder on and just chat about how our day was going, what was on our mind etc. I found my old recorder and started listening to one of the tapes. It was recorded shortly after we made it "official" that we were in love and were thinking about marriage in the future. It was funny to hear him talk about a possible job opening at Pebble Beach. (He had just left the seminary before we met and was doing various temp work. He got his current job at PB two weeks before we were married. Talk about trusting in God to provide!) He shared about his hopes for the future and how much he loved me. It brought tears to my eyes because he has kept his promise to love me and take care of me and our future children. He has been a better husband and best friend than I could have ever imagined. I think now I'll go back and listen to one of my letter tapes that I recorded and remind myself of the promises I made to him to be a good wife and mother to his children. :-)

Free Kindle Giveaway -I know that many of us in this Catholic blogging mom community are eagerly awaiting the release of Hailey Lord's (beloved blogging mom, fashionista and this week's QT host) new book Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter. If that wasn't exciting enough, if you preorder your book you can enter to win a new Kindle Touch. Fun! Just place your order and then head to Betty Beguiles.com to enter. I'll be ordering and entering as soon as I'm done with this post!

Pampered Chef Online Party - My sister-in-law Maria is hosting a Pampered Chef online party. I found out about Pampered Chef a few years back through a friend. I bought a few products and still love using them today. So if you are looking for some kitchen items, please feel free to browse Maria's Pampered Chef page. (Orders due 2/26.) These are some of my favorite products.

Sick of Spam - You may have noticed that a week or two ago I switched the comment box to allow people to comment without having to sign in. It did allow for people to comment more often but it also allowed the spambots to easily post spam comments. Normally it's not too bad and I just delete them at the end of the day but the other night my inbox was filling up like crazy. It downloaded over a hundred spams in minutes and they kept coming. I had to turn the comment box to requiring you sign in first. Sorry about the inconvenience. By the way, why do they call it spam? Is it because they both are poor substitutes for the real thing?

That's it for today. I was going to post about the boys speech therapy and preschool decisions but it became too long for a quick take so I'll post about it later today if time allows.

Have a wonderful weekend!!

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

Walking Zombie - It's Friday morning and I have my little block of morning time to use the computer and write my Quick Takes post but I am feeling like a zombie right now. Matthew went to bed sort of early last night (8 PM) and he decided to wake up at 2 AM ready for playtime. I couldn't get him to quietly go back to sleep so I brought him to the family room before he woke up everyone else. We watched random TV for over an hour. I finally got back to sleep around 4 AM and the 6:30 AM alarm came way too soon. So my mind is in a fog and if I don't make a lot of sense, forgive me.

Golf & God's Creation - This weekend is the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro Am Golf Tournament so the Monterey Peninsula will be super busy. That means only one thing for us - we'll most likely not leave our house except to go to Mass. Lol. Well, we may not be that extreme but we'd rather wait for the crowds to die down. I am glad that we supposed to have nice weather because I always want the people visiting here to enjoy the beauty of God's creation. Not that you can't do that when it is cold and foggy but some of the scenery here is simply breathtaking at that sunny blue sky is the icing on the cake.

Peace be with you, Mr. James - Brian said that people were buzzing at Pebble Beach because they like to get a glimpse at the stars that come out to play the tournament. The closest I've come to seeing a star here was a couple years back when Kevin James sat in front of me at Mass. I remember how he came in a little late and there was an open seat in the pew in front of me. There was a couple sitting at the end of the pew and I don' know if they were oblivious or just rude because he tried to slip in quietly passed them but they didn't lift up the kneeler to make it easier for him. The poor guy stumbled and tried to work his way to his seat (he's not exactly a tiny guy) and finally made it. I had a hard time concentrating at Mass because all I kept thinking about was him in that movie Mall Cop. During the sign of peace I wanted to say, "Peace be with you, Mr. James. Oh and by the way, I think you are such a funny comedic actor..." but I refrained. (He's lucky I didn't have my iphone then or I would have snapped a photo of him and posted it on the blog. ;-) Hmm...is that why my mom sometimes calls me "Bobbi aka TMZ?") Anyway, I will say that I couldn't help but notice that after receiving Communion that he knelt down and closed his eyes and looked really deep in prayer. I did the same and said a little prayer for him as well.

Dogs vs. Babies - It's funny but someone reading this may be thinking that I am so lucky because I live in a gorgeous town with celebrities eager to play golf where Brian works, etc. Yes, I am extremely blessed but there are also crosses in living here. I think the biggest cross is living in a town that bends over backwards to pamper your pooch (doggy spa anyone?) but will give you dirty looks because you dare have more than your 1.2 kids quota. I remember one time we were taking a walk downtown with the kids and I saw another couple pushing a baby stroller. You hardly see babies here so I was excited to pass them and say hi. However, as we got closer and heard a few people commenting on their "little precious" I felt sick to my stomach that it was a dog, not a baby. I tried not to be judgmental. Maybe they wanted kids but can't have any. Brian and I are blessed to have fixed our infertility problems and to now have four lovely children. Sometimes I just wish more people would see it as a blessing and not something to belittle, judge or be rude about.

For This Chica, Nothing Says Love Like Sweet Bread - I was looking at the calendar and noticed that Valentine's in on Tuesday already. I don't know why I was thinking I still had a whole week, not just a couple of days. I guess that means that the east coast cousins will get their Valentine's cards late, again. (Sorry, EL!) Brian and I don't have anything special planned since it is a school night and we already had a wonderful date night last Friday. We'll most likely pray the little ones fall asleep early (But not too early. Those 2AM playdates suck.) and then watch a movie or one of our DVR'd shows. Hmm, maybe I should make him a special dessert... Yes, he has a big sweet tooth. Actually, as I'm typing this I'm thinking I should get him some pan dulce (Mexican sweet bread) and make him some Mexican chocolate. That would be a special treat since we don't get it very often and he loves it. Perfect!

Rachel Rocks. Again. - Speaking of love and Valentine's day, Rachel Balducci at Testosterhome.net has a wonderful post Keep the Love Alive. In fact, I love it so much I'm going to repost it as my last Quick Take. Read. Enjoy. Then go give your hubby a big kiss. ;-)

Keep the Love Alive

This is my weekly column for the Southern Cross, which is something I originally wrote over at Faith and Family Live.

Here's an aside: I feel funny writing about marriage. All I can do is write from my own experience and pray that inspires or encourages someone. But I totally understand that the list I included below is not a one-size-fits-all. There might be a marriage where the wife does everything, the husband does nothing around the house and I'm not suggesting that you just ignore that fact. That all depends on a million other details -- if you feel like things need to change, for instance, it's perfectly healthy and acceptable to address this situation.

So please, if there are areas of your marriage that need attention and help, please don't think for a minute I'm saying you should just work harder and it will all fix itself.
See? It's tricky writing about this stuff -- every single marriage is different and works in different ways. But prayer -- that really is a universal factor we can all utilize to our benefit!

Valentine's Day is just around the corner and that's got me thinking about love. Love is in the air! Chocolates, roses, red wine and crab dip. (That last one might be specific to us?).

But what really keeps the love alive? Flowers and candy are all well and good but a happy marriage they do not make. Yes, they add an extra spark, but no amount of ornamentals can make up for a good foundation--and if you don't have that, the little extras will do very little to help.

In my experience, in my reading and talking and listening about what makes the very best marriages--and in reflecting on the best tools Paul and I have come across--here are my recommendations for what will get you far in your marriage, what will bring you true happiness and love to last a lifetime.

• Quit thinking about how you could improve as a couple. This might sound counter-intuitive, but let me tell you from experience that always looking at the ways your marriage could be closer to your ideal will get you nowhere fast. Yes we want to improve and be the best we can be. But when we're always looking at how other "ideal" couples operate, we only become more aware of our flaws and (worse!) of our spouse's shortcomings.

• On that note, Don't Compare. Don't look at the great job your best friend's man does of taking out the trash, especially if that's something your own husband isn't quick to do. Trust me, for every two really amazing things her husband does, your own husband has at least that many good qualities--but most likely in totally different areas. Stop finding fault and start finding favor.

• Respect your husband. A few years ago I heard a talk by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs, based on his book Love and Respect. The book spells out a very basic premise: men want to be respected, women want to be loved. This revolutionized our marriage. Too long had I been giving my husband all kinds of helpful "tips" and "advice" on a variety on topics, only to end each conversation with "I love you baby." What a husband would rather hear is "I respect you" and oftentimes the best way we can do this is to be supportive and encouraging. Thank your man for how hard he works for your family. Don't tell him how he could do better.

• Don't keep score. Don't keep track. Today you grocery shopped and cleaned the house and took care of the kids and did homework with them and trained them and took care of the dog. What did your husband do? Well, it doesn't matter. Maybe he did ten times more. Or ten times less. The minute you start keeping track of who did what, things are going downhill. Give until it hurts. And then give a little more. The key to a happy marriage is not 50/50. It's 100 percent ON YOUR PART. And not worrying about how much your spouse is giving. If every married person woke up each morning and asked himself (or herself) "what can I do to make my spouse's life better today?" can you imagine what a wonderful world it would be?

• Pray together. Even if it's three minutes, holding hands as you fall asleep, spend time as a couple in prayer. If your spouse isn't comfortable praying with you, then pray for your spouse. Prayer and personal holiness is at the heart of so much good in every situation. Pray for patience. Pray for more love. Pray for the ability to love your spouse extravagantly.

While these tips might not be the full solution for every marriage, they can do a world of good for those of us who can too easily get sucked into the dangerous self-centered seasons of keeping score. Don't do it! The person who suffers the most is YOU.
Dying to self is the best way to keep the love alive.

Well, for being so tired I guess I had more to say than I thought. Thanks for listening. Have a wonderful weekend!!

xoxo,
B.

Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.

Today I am doubly blessed. First of all, two of my sisters are here visiting. (One of these days we are going to get our east coast sister EL here so the four of us can all go out together!) I love when my sisters visit but I always feel sorry for Brian. After awhile all the loudness and laughing takes a toll on his introverted quiet ways. Poor guy.

The second big blessing is that since Brian works at Pebble Beach, once a year he is able to "test the product" and we're given a complimentary dinner and stay at one of the hotels and then we rate how the service/experience was. This year we are staying at The Inn at Spanish Bay, which I actually prefer over the famous Lodge. I am not the least bit interested in golf but Pebble Beach is breathtakingly gorgeous. Besides that, I am just excited to have a whole night out with my husband. Since my sisters are here they offered to take care of the kids for us. I gladly accepted! The following day we'll take them to the 17 Mile Drive. I'm so excited. :-)

It's funny because my sister EL was just mentioning in her post yesterday that one of her goals this year is to have more dates with her husband. Brian and I were just talking about this the other day. We get so busy with the day to day business of running a family that it's hard to stop and take time out for our relationship, but we must! So far we've done a lot of "at home" dates after the kids go to sleep but sometimes it's nice to actually get out of the house and still know my four "babies" are safe in someone else's care.

Usually when my sisters come we'll go out to dinner or go to one of the local bakeries for coffee and a treat but that is off limits this time. Next week the girls are running their first half marathon and right now they are in training. I'm so proud of them! Since I was a little girl I always dreamed of being able to run and run like one of those marathoners. These days I'm lucky to get out and walk around but I seriously need to make a greater effort to get moving (I mean other than chasing kids around) and now that the weather is getting warmer I can get back to walking again...and maybe one day, running.

Okay, speaking of needing motivation to walk/run/exercise, my brother posted this on Facebook. The video is about a man who is really overweight but who wants to fulfill his life long dream of running a marathon. He also wants to get healthy for his family and to raise money for his ill niece who has cystic fibrosis. His transformation, and his niece's fight, is beautiful and inspiring.

One of the people who commented on facebook about this video said, "...that's the two edged blade of manhood. We get so focused on everyone else's needs and lives that we can give everything and have nothing left for ourselves. Our own needs (like staying healthy) can be easily forgotten for righteous reasons. But I will tell you that to be our best at providing and trying to be men of and for God we have to take care of ourselves too so we can do that providing according to His will right into eternity..."

Words to live by for dads and moms!

Well, the baby just woke up so that's it for today. Have a great weekend!

Love,
B